IceIceBaby Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 My boyfriend works in the hospitality industry so his company usually has their holiday party in January after things slow down a bit. We've been together for a year and a half now. Last year he didn't invite me and then called me once the party started to tell me he felt bad because he didn't realize they were allowed to invite significant others and everyone else had their SO's there. At the time I thought it was strange. I had honestly been expecting to be invited as most of the time SO's are invited to that sort of thing. Regardless I had just walked in from the gym and would never have made it there in time, so I didn't get to go. Now it turns out this years party is tomorrow. So I asked him "Is this the same party you forgot to invite me to last year?" Now he's saying it's going to be lame and it only goes from 5-8 so he didn't bother to invite me. I told him I was a bit hurt and now it was two years in a row I haven't been invited. I still haven't gotten an invite from him and he knows I'm a little upset. What are your thoughts on this? Just an innocent mistake or does my boyfriend not want me at this work party? Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 As a man who has at times struggled with fidelity I will tell you my two honest opinions; 1) There are other women that he works with that he doesn't want them to know you exist or at least important Famous term: "Don't bring sand to the beach" 2) He doesn't want to show you off to other co-workers/buddies of his, or might be a little embarrassed I'm sorry to have to be so blunt, but that's why I wouldn't want you to go to this kind of a party. He's just making excuses...after all don't you especially want company when you are going to a place that is "lame and boring" for good company? It makes no sense. I don't think he values or respects you enough on the level of "relationship" status. Link to post Share on other sites
zlatnapolja Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 There are so many reason I can think of to why he wouldnt invite you to this party. 1. He doesnt feel like going himself and doesnt want to make a big deal of it. 2. He's afraid you'd be jealous because he has a semi flirtatious relationship with a female collegue 3. He want a night with 'the guys' from his office. 4. He's emberassed by you 5. He's taking his secret girlfriend 6. He lost his job, and is afraid to tell you 7. He's emberassed by something at his work, and doesnt want you to know about it 8. His collegues think your hot 9. He's cheating on you or thinking about cheating on you with someone from his office. 10. He thinks you wont enjoy it 11. He thinks that if he envites you, that he'll have to come to every single one of your office parties and he's not up for that And so many more reasons.. ASK him Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) 2) He doesn't want to show you off to other co-workers/buddies of his, or might be a little embarrassed I'm sorry to have to be so blunt, but that's why I wouldn't want you to go to this kind of a party. He's just making excuses...after all don't you especially want company when you are going to a place that is "lame and boring" for good company? It makes no sense. I don't think he values or respects you enough on the level of "relationship" status. Harsh as it sounds, this sounds correct. He may be embarrased to have you as his GF in one way or another (looks/personality). If it is true, then clues will manifest themselves in other parts of your relationship too. I had the opposite problem. I wanted to bring one of my girlfriends to my office party and she always had some excuse not to go. You know why? Because she didn't give enough of a sh@t about me as a BF to waste her night talking to strangers. People are sh@ttay. Date a less attractive man who has more character. You can get a good value on them. Unless he is ashamed of you because you are high maintenance or caustic. Then you got other problems. Edited January 12, 2012 by jobaba Link to post Share on other sites
zlatnapolja Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Harsh as it sounds, this sounds correct. He may be embarrased to have you as his GF in one way or another (looks/personality). If it is true, then clues will manifest themselves in other parts of your relationship too. I had the opposite problem. I wanted to bring one of my girlfriends to my office party and she always had some excuse not to go. You know why? Because she didn't give enough of a sh@t about me as a BF to waste her night talking to strangers. People are sh@ttay. Date a less attractive man who has more character. You can get a good value on them. Unless he is ashamed of you because you are high maintenance or caustic. Then you got other problems. Couldnt it just be because he wants to keep his personal life seperated fom his professional life? Honestly I've never invited a BF to these kind of parties, simply because thats the only part of my life where people dont loo at you as being part of a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Could be a lot of things. Firstly whether he is lying or telling the truth he seems pretty stupid for not relizing you could bring guests to the last party. I mean if he really didn't realize that makes me think he isn't bright, and if its a lie why not just go full blown and say he was told he couldn't bring a guest. I mean even if you some how confronted him and said you know he could bring guests he could just be like well thats what I was told. As for this year he knew it was a big deal to you because you told him and unless your hiding your problem with whats going on now you'd think he would just invite you. He is either cheating on you or wants to cheat on you. Doesn't care about you and thinks its more fun with out you. Is embarresed. Or just some how stupid about this... I guess just some how stupid about making his gf upset is the most forgivable. Well talk to him and don't accuse him of things. just try to understand and see if you can get this fixed. Link to post Share on other sites
Axel Foley Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 1) There are other women that he works with that he doesn't want them to know you exist or at least important Famous term: "Don't bring sand to the beach" 2) He doesn't want to show you off to other co-workers/buddies of his, or might be a little embarrassed. This is my vote. Couldn't have said it better. I've worked in the hospitality business for eons and been invited to a million of these parties. #1 makes alot of sense because alot of flirting goes on in the industry, especially in the bar culture. Not saying that's he cheating on you but there's a strong possibility that he's flirting with/ has he's eyes on someone at work. #2 Is a strong possibility as well. Most man has been guilty of this. "5-8pm and lame party" is a terrible excuse. When a guy is proud of you, he will want you by his side at all times - lame party or not. Whether because you're incredible company or he finds you attractive, which increase his power as a man. I remember going to one of these party years ago and a co-worker of mine brought his girlfriend who was annoying, plus they were on the sh*tty way out of their relationship. Needless to say, she was really attractive which made every guy in the room beeline towards her. He didn't give a sh*t about her but the attention that "he" got made him feel amazing. I think your bf is corny for making all of these excuse. I personally would end it with him and find someone who appreciates you. Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Yes, ask him, "Help me understand your decision to not take me to the Christmas party." Explain it was important to you and why. Really, he should know that after last year. Last year, my (now ex) boyfriend asked me to his Christmas party only to introduce to to everyone as his "friend." OUCH. Those kinds of events can be very telling. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 There's a saying for such situations: Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! If I was him and I genuinely made a mistake about inviting you to a office party and you expressed dissatisfaction, you can bet your bottom dollar I'd make sure you had an invitation to the next one...no matter how lame or short. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 He sounds shady. what ninja said. Link to post Share on other sites
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