EyeAlone Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I've been doing okay for the past week or so. Okay in the sense that I don't wake up every morning with the first thought of the day being "Ugh I'm single" as it was in the beginning stages of my grief. It's been a while since I last cried, too. But yesterday, I did something stupid. I was perusing the online dating site that I'm on and ugh, apparently he reactivated his profile because it popped up on my match results. I made the stupid decision of clicking on it and reading it. UGHHHHHHHHH He hadn't changed anything; it's the same as it was when I first met him. The pictures are the same and it really bothered me to see them because this is the first time since the breakup that I've seen his face. UGH. Fortunately I was browsing anonymously so he won't know that I came across it. Ever since yesterday I've been in a funk. Maybe it hurts because it solidifies that he doesn't want to get back together, which I should be fine with because he really was a jerk. I've finally made that realization with the help of my therapist. But when I'm 100% honest with myself, I think I'm really upset at the thought of him "beating me" by finding a new relationship first. I know that if he were to get into a relationship now that it would be a rebound most likely so I shouldn't consider that a "victory" on his part. I know it shouldn't bother me but it does I need someone to kick me or slap some sense into me. Link to post Share on other sites
Chs Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Well you sound like you are doing very good in moving on. It seems like it's just jealousy when you talk about him "beating" you to a new relationship, so just try to forgive him and understand that it doesen't matter if he is quicker or slower because eventually it will happen for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 The victor in the healing game is the one who finds indifference and inner peace. Anything done out of jealousy is nothing but immaturity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EyeAlone Posted January 12, 2012 Author Share Posted January 12, 2012 Thanks guys, and you're right; holding onto any negative thoughts/feelings is only hurting myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Thanks guys, and you're right; holding onto any negative thoughts/feelings is only hurting myself. Exactly right. Any feelings of anger or resentment always hurt you more than they hurt the other person. "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." - Buddha "To be angry is to let others' mistakes punish yourself. To forgive others is to be good to yourself." - Master ChengYen Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 The victor in the healing game is the one who finds indifference and inner peace. Anything done out of jealousy is nothing but immaturity. Indiference and inner peace....I like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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