solong123 Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Do you really believe that closure can only be found from within? My ex left me woth no explanatiom just stopped contacting me and met someone at work and started dating them 3 weeks later. It has been almost two months and he has not tried contacting me once. I have not tried contacting him and dont plan to but in this case can i only find peace within myself do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Do you really believe that closure can only be found from within? My ex left me woth no explanatiom just stopped contacting me and met someone at work and started dating them 3 weeks later. It has been almost two months and he has not tried contacting me once. I have not tried contacting him and dont plan to but in this case can i only find peace within myself do you think? What sort of closure are you hoping to get from him? Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I was in a pretty similar situation a good 18 months a go, upped and left with no explanation what so ever, still haven't got one even now after all this time, can only assume she wasn't happy and people are selfish like that sometimes, just do what's best for themselves and carry on without a thought or a care, it's not nice but it's the way of the world I'm afraid. Took me a long time to find peace with everything that happened, had to assess every little detail and face it head on until I realised it didn't really matter either way because she was a horrible person for doing what she did and there no excuse for it and now I realise I deserve better and I'd never have done that to her so then I realised I'm better than her and within all this I found my closure and moved on . Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Peace will only ever come from within. Find peace in forgiveness. If he left without a word then his is immature, so pity that. You need no words from him as his actions have told you everything you need to know about his character. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Nothing an ex can really say or do will ever provide closure, as much as we'd like to think so. Sure, there's a difference between someone leaving like a jerk, and someone taking the time to explain themselves and apologize, but at the end of the day, we are still losing someone that we weren't ready to say goodbye to, and there's not really any closure for that. Explanations are nice, apologies are nice, remaining on good terms in nice, but you could have the most peaceful break up in the world, and your feelings can still be hurt, and your mind can still obsess about what did you do wrong and why wasn't this person going to stay with you for the rest of your life, so yeah I think the closure has to come from ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 i think you do not need that much closure. the reason is obvious, the guy wants to be with somebody else. even if he tells you why, it can never be enough of a closure. i think the actions itself speak volume about what kind of person he is. i think instead of looking for closure, you should look for why you need closure from a person like that. truth is you don't, you dont want to be with somebody like that, you even have to leave him before he leaves you now that you get to know him better. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 closure is more of like a pain relief pill. you are hurt so you have questions, you try to answer them, you do a lot of theorizing as a healing process. how about changing the purpose of theorizing itself, since that can be changed, and lets change it into why you are better off without him, and why somebody like that will not be able to give you a fulfill relationship in the long run anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author solong123 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 Thank you all for your responses... After writing this and sitting and thinking about it as well as reading other replies I guess I realize now that there really is nothing he can give to me at this point, I can only do it for myself. He can apologize and say I'm a good person but that really wouldn't make a difference in the end. He still did what he did, he showed his true colors, and I deserve better than that. In all honesty he was very emotionally abusive and controlling so I know that this is what is best for me, but I think everyone from time to time wants that validation that we meant something to that person. But do I really need to hear that from someone like him, who treated me like trash? Probably not. I've started to realize his actions do not reflect me, for I did nothing to him to make him act the way he did. I can only hope that I can continue to get stronger and find this closure within myself and be at peace finally. Link to post Share on other sites
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