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the next step


stu1234

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year and half relationship ended @ start of December. I broke no contact today and told her that I missed her. She has basically said she missed me too, but not in a relationship way just in general. She is with someone new now and it has kind of given me closure. Hurts like hell don't get me wrong but she said the guy is nice and stuff(felt a little like she rubbed it in) but at least knowing that I have no chance whatsoever is good to know. I told her when her and her bf are settled down we could be friends but that it obviously can't be like that at the moment in response to her saying she missed me in general.

It seems like its all ended very nicely hunky doory but thats not the case really I'm just being nice about it. She owes me a fair bit of money and she has broken my heart but I just ddnt wana hold the grudge. I kinda feel like I'm not holding a grudge so she remembers me in a good light and maybe comes back one day.

 

We want different things I want her and she clearly doesn't want me haha.

So the question to you all is what is the next step? Should I find someone else or be single? I saw her everyday like we practically lived together so its a big void. I feel more ready to try with someone else now even though I'd probably just be trying to replace her. I need something there tho..

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Be single for a bit! You said yourself that you still want her so it wouldn't really be fair of you to start dating someone else when you still have feelings for another woman. Besides, your ex is with someone new a month after you broke-up so it's either a rebound or she was working on it before you guys broke up...take time out for yourself to heal.

 

Trust me, you'll be better off in the long run :)

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Be single and get her out of the system before jumping into a new relationship. It's not going to be fair for the new girl and yourself. Pick up a hobby or hit the gym, it's going to be beneficial to you.

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Just like everyone says...be single for a bit until you are completely over your ex. It may not be the quick fix, but to me it has proven to be the most beneficial. Until you can truly find peace within yourself and forgive your ex and yourself for the mistakes both of you made, you really haven't moved on and aren't ready for a relationship. Let go of resentment, let go of the hurt, build your confidence and your self-esteem, and truly love yourself before you can love others. Once you realize that you don't need others to make yourself happy, that only YOU can make yourself happy, and that adding someone else into the picture is simply because you want to make them happy; well then I'd say you are ready for another relationship. Jumping into a rebound may help some people, but in my case it has always made me try to compare and contrast the ex and the new girl. You don't want that in a relationship, you want to be able to jump into a relatiionship because you really do accept the new person for who they are and not what your ex was...

 

Join a gym, create a bucket list, go out with your friends, do YOU for now, heal, rebuild your confidence, etc.

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Stay single. Don't be like these narcissistic attention addicts who can't go a day in their life as a single person. Think about the things you enjoy and spend some time doing that. Read a book, rent a movie, get a videogame.

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