AlisaMarie Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hello everyone! It's been a while but I feel I need a little vent. I have been thinking of my ex a whole lot these days and it's torturous. I am almost in 3 months of NC and I have been trying to figure out MY life without his senseless hate. I am also no longer a pseudo mother to the child he chose to put all the responsibility on me. It has been an adjustment going from a mentally abused single mother to a child that wasn't even mine to ... well... me again, but it's much better that's for sure. I do miss the baby a lot at times... wondering how he's developing and if he's as loved as he was when he was in my care... oh well. I found out that my ex moved in with the girl that he cheated on me with (for a year) and they are soooo in love (blah blah). I didn't even care. I do however feel bad for the drama and pain she endured while he was playing both of us, and the hurt she will endure when the real narcissist in him shines through. Maybe he learned a lesson with me and will treat her better. While I was at work today, someone asked me about him. I got choked up and angry. The person said "wow, you must not like him that much!" I was just thrown back that out of no where... I was asked about him. Now I feel like I am sinking... Things have been good! Back in the groove at my job... starting classes for a new degree in the fall, and staying on top of my workouts. I just don't understand how hearing his name can make me so somber. I have even been seeing someone that I have been in total love with for the past 10 years! (an old friend that I have always had a crush on) Is this normal? Is it normal to feel completely over someone for a good while then all of the sudden just have the hurt and pain hit you like a ton of bricks? Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeless_1116 Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Is this normal? Is it normal to feel completely over someone for a good while then all of the sudden just have the hurt and pain hit you like a ton of bricks? I was posting about something similar earlier today. I'm 11 months out and felt like I had been coping and moving on fine, and then BAM! Feeling down and depressed again. I think it is normal to have triggers that remind us of them. For me this morning, it was the smell outside that triggered painful memories about our break up, as it happened in February last year when there was snow on the ground. Sometimes, I see something and it reminds me of a happy memory or someone says his name and I feel my heart leap into my throat. I wish I had some advice to give to make you feel better, but I don't. Just know that you're not alone. I'm told with time it gets easier and these "triggers" will fade as we create new memories and experiences. Feel what you need to feel. It's all part of the healing process, but it sounds like you're doing great and have a nice new man in your life! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts