Think I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

[hamster123]

Now I'm not expecting any of you to remember my story, so for reference here it is...http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310615/

 

Now I'm sure you can empathise with me and realise this was a very difficult situation for me to overcome. Imagine having such strong feelings for a girl that you thought there was the chance of a possible future, only to find she runs away from you at the very whiff of commitment, straight back into the arms of somebody just as emotionally unavailable as her, this being a good friend of mine!!!

 

As if this wasn't hard enough, as we have the same circle of friends, every night out I would see them flirting away, knowing one would be staying at the others that night, and just to make the situation even more non-avoidable...I work with her!! (I know don't s**t where you eat etc).

 

Usually when I saw them together, or things that reminded me of her it would put me right back to square one...depressed and all over the place. However my New Years Resolution was to make a concious effort to get out of this viscious circle I kept finding myself in. I've done a lot of soul searching over this past month, and I think I finally realise where I have been going wrong.

 

When people are caught up in the emotion of their situations, it can be very hard to make rational thoughts and judgements. I believe this is where LS can help a lot of us. I believe getting a perspective from somebody who is not emotionally invested in the situation can really help people to turn their minset around, which is what has happened with me.

 

LS has helped me realise that both she and my friend have no place in my life. What they did to me shows they lack empathy, integrity and loyalty. Who would want to be surrounded by these people? And to think I wanted a relationship with this girl!?! LS has also made me realise I dodged a major bullet with her, and the whole situation may be a blessing in disguise. I have made a concious effort to expand my social circle these past few weeks, and I have met some beautiful, amazing women that blow my ex out of the water. And for once, instead of focussing my energy on her and what she is doing, I find myself focussing my energy on meeting new people which I am finding very rewarding and exciting.

 

Forgive me for rattling on about myself. I guess what I am trying to say is that when we lose somebody, we feel as if we are not complete anymore, as if we are missing a jigsaw piece. And for a while it seems that our 'ex' is that missing piece, and only they can make us whole again. However in reality, there is not just one unique piece that can make us complete, rather there are many different pieces...some that may even fit better than the last!

 

So this New Year I say to you...Instead of looking at the past and trying to make an old piece fit...look to the future, and try to find a new piece that fits even better. It may not happen soon, but it will happen!

 

Thank you LS. It is down to you people that I now have this mindset, and am now out of the viscious circle I thought I would never get out of.

 

Thanks for reading

[CopingGal]

On tv shows that focus on a group of friends, you have people in a circle of friends that might date, break up and then date one of the other friends (ex: Brenda, Dylan, Kelly, Beverly Hills, 90210).

 

But the reality is, that it is just so incredibly painful to see your ex with someone, esp. a person that your friend, esp. if that ex treated you badly. In reality, it's just too painful and you have to remove yourself from the situation. I did that. My ex thought it was fun to travel to this very small city I live in and cheat on me behind my back and then tell me had didn't have money to come see me. I saw them in town once together after we broke up and it was bad...bad, and that is before I knew he cheated on me with her when we were together.

 

So I removed myself from the situation. All you have to do is get used to being without those people. Time will slowly take care of the rest. You have your own life to focus on. Make it a good one and your heart will heal.