How to accept she is with another man?

[Chs]

So it's been 3 months since me and my ex's break up.

She met a new guy in november and their relationship quickly evolved to kissing. Then they had abit of a break because she was talking to other guys too but now they are back to flirting and i think they are getting really serious as i see her post sweet things and hearts on his facebook wall. I blocked them both after seeing this a few times, but i still know it's going on so it doesen't really help.

 

This just hurts me so deeply, as i still dream about her every day and night.

I know NC is the way, but i just can't fight the urge to contact her. I do everything in my power to stop, but it's so hard when what i really want is to hear her voice and talk to her. I know that i should be happy for her, and move on, but how? I kissed another girl last night and have been flirting with her and a few others but im just not ready for it, i still love my ex too much.

[Feelin Frisky]

I feel for you but you're going to have to start becoming self-disciplined and catch yourself when you start falling into a rumination about your lost love. You will survive and someone else will eventually knock your socks off and this one will become a distant memory. Works that way for billions of people and has been for eons. But it hasn't been that long since you broke up and you are going to find yourself in cycles of near obsession over the hurt. Those are very much "chemical" and I suggest that if you can't stop the cycles after another few months that you see a doctor and consider one of the latest SSRI meds that helps those cycles become visible and something you can treat preventively so you can move on more confidently. It really worked for me. Good luck.

Edited January 15, 2012 by Feelin Frisky

[Chs]

Im already considering going to the doctor but i just feel like a teenage heartbreak isn't really a valid reason.

 

The thing is im young and never felt for a girl like this, i still want to believe that she was special and that what we had was just as special. I know that's probably not very true and that i should realise, but somehow it hurts me way more to think of it realistically because that also means that i am already a distant memory for her.

 

It's just tough to think that after all the times she told me i was the best thing that ever happened to her and how much she loved me, someone else has now taken my place in her heart.

[Buttercup84]

It won't last , trust me . Sounds like an inmature relationship. Anyone's lives look great on Facebook , it's all smoke and mirrors

[Chs]

Well she once told me that she would find someone else quick when we did break up, because that's just how she deals.

And even when they were seeing each other she still called me nicknames and texted an occasional heart, i could tell she still cared in some ways. But even if it is just a rebound, that means she is actively getting over me and i just wish it wasn't like that. But i guess i gotta accept it, even tho it's only a few hours ago i saw them post how fantastic they were on facebook i only cried for a while and im already feeling somewaht better, still sad, but better than i would have a month ago.

[Eddie Edirol]

If you can understand what you did to turn her off and break it off with you in the first place, you can understand its over, and that she is dating to find a guy she thinks is better than you. Then you can move on and learn from your mistakes, and find a woman who is better than her, and believe me, you WILL find her. She that new woman will be nothing like your ex, and you will wonder what you saw in your ex in the first place. Trust me on that. All you have to do is accept that she doesnt want to hear from you, and that she you dont NEED to hear from her, and you will heal faster.

[jmy33]

My ex was kind of doing the same thing, we have been NC for 3 weeks now, but when we were talking she would always brag about how much fun she was having with these other guys. I always played it off like it didn't bother me even though it really made me want to rip my hair out. All we can really do is keep our chins up and wait for the right girl to come into our lives. And she will.

 

Don't worry about things on Facebook, its all a front. She is most likely doing everything she can to make you jealous, and to get under your skin. It's good that you blocked her though, keep it that way. I blocked my ex and all her family and friends just so that I would have no way of knowing anything about her. It's working out pretty well too. Kind of like an out of sight out of mind thing. The less i know about her the better i am, and the faster i can get over her.