quietGuy13 Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Many guys dream of beauties and sexy girls. But there are many problems with this when the average guys are not the type of guy typical women want. -Tyipcal woman want someone from around the same social class. (ie. University graduates want university graduates or at least smart talktaive guys) -Average guys have average looks and although women say looks don't matter, women actually do lust after handsome guys just like men do about sexy girls -Women want guys who are confident. Well what average guy is gonna feel confident when society keeps putting him down cause he's average with an average job and doens't make alot of money and is not a great business man.Instead an average guy may be doing restaurant job or some low end clerical job and women think men like that are losers. So this desire for confident guys is even more in Sexy beauties. -Like i said, average guys have average jobs so we're not gonna have 6 figure salaries etc and many women equate this to LOSER. Again, the beauties and sexys which men desire are usually middle to upper class and they want to live with someone like that OR even if they're not that rich, they want to find a guy who has a good job so that they can share a lifestyle similar to the lifestyle she lives now OR share hobbies etc and share experiences of a similar social class. -Like I've heard before, from Women here in this site, WOMEN WANT A MAN WITH SUBSTANCE who is articulate and can engage in intelligent conversation. An average guys is well.......AVERAGE!! Not the best talker, not a nerd, not very articulate. ..maybe is not into reading novels or literature etc. Maybe not well traveled or maybe hasn't traveled at all. Maybe comes from a poor family. *** BY THE WAY I"M TALKING ABOUT AVERAGE GUY with average meaning Average in all aspects(intelligence, looks, job) SO ANYWAYS, as you can see there are many things that are reasons why Average Men can't get beauties that they have always dreamed of. But interestingly, and i found this from experience, finding friends and girls who are average is reallllyyyy easy. As you've maybe read I've tried talking to beauties and i'm just ignored. I've gone to school etc and beauties don't even look at me once. Meanwhile I've tralked to average girls and JUST LIKE THAT, because i'm a nice person, I have made friends with Average girls. Many of them even wanting to be my GF. But is going and settling for Average girls, really something good to do? or should you go and TAKE THE CHALLENGE so that you end up with girls you realy are attracted to.? I know people here have said many times that Looks are not important and that guys who want Beauties/Sexy girls are shallow. WEll if we are really attracted to Beauties there must be a reason for it, so why NOT try to get the girls you want! But then again, i don't know if it's worth it because as i pointed out, it's very unlikely for an average guy like me to get the girls i am attracted to since they usualy are not interested in men like me. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 First of all, you need to eliminate the word "average" from your vocabulary. Average is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot, especially when regarding something as wholly subjective as dating and physical appearance. I've liked lots of girls that people would think are just average, and likewise, there are girls who think I look average and girls who thin I am jaw dropping gorgeous for some reason lol. I know it's cliché but beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder, even considering "universal" ideals. Besides, you know that you have a choice to NOT be average right?? Everyone has a choice, they can have no complaints IMO. So if you want to date someone extraordinary, you actually have to believe you can be extraordinary instead of bemoaning how average you are and how you have to date average girls. I'm not having a go, I had frustrating thoughts like that, when I used to be on POF and message all the girls I liked and get no replies, only to receive messages from girls I had NO attraction to whatsoever was annoying. But you know, that's just how the cookie crumbles! Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 My grandmother always used to tell me, "love the ones that love you." I have always followed that bit of advice and, for the most part, been very successful. Link to post Share on other sites
misssmartypants Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 The op would have more luck if he saw women as whole people instead of "beauties" and "average". In general you should seek to date people you have something in common with and who is fun to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 The op would have more luck if he saw women as whole people instead of "beauties" and "average". In general you should seek to date people you have something in common with and who is fun to be around. Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Average is a wholly subjective notion. What's average in your social circle may not be in mine. Honestly, your description of "average" being a guy with no work skills, no social skills, no life skills, doesn't really seem average at all. It seems pretty far below. Like attracts like. If you're not comfortable with where your are work your way out of it and be something else. Or else spend your life attracting people like yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Lemme put this into a mathmatical formula for you. Average guy dreams of getting a hot chick and pursues hot chicks = hot chicks not giving him the time of day. Average guy dreams of becoming an above average guy and strives to achieve his own greatness = hot chicks coming out of the woodwork:D Can you see the difference here? If you put your efforts into getting an above average chick just so you can have a hottie while you allow yourself to wallow in mediocrity you are going to run into a brick wall. But if you put your efforts into pursuing personal excellence (ie improving yourself physically, mentally, financially, socially, spiritually etc etc) people will be drawn to that. If you are a fat, out of shape, frumpy, lazy, shiftless, broke, uninspired deadbeat with no ambition, no passions, do dreams and no drive for self-improvement, why would anyone want to date/F#ck/marry that? I am a completely "average" Joe by all measures. I am just one of the pack in writing and by the numbers. I met and married and raised a family with a truly beautiful hottie (inside and out) and it was because even though I am average, I was always trying to improve myself and improve my lot in life. I'm not over 6ft tall, I'm not big and muscular, I don't have movie star looks, I don't make over 6 figures and I just have an average dick. What made me worthy of a beautiful woman instead of an average woman is I work on improving all areas of my life and work on improving the lives of people I am involved with. Some times you don't have to be the greatest. Sometimes you just have to sincerely strive to be the greatest and people are attracted to that. Link to post Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Don't settle. Would you rather be semi-happy forever and never feel fulfilled? Do everything in your power to change the things you can change. There's tons of fugly dudes out there pulling dimes. The proof is in the pudding. I will never settle. I'd rather be single forever. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 How very heart breaking for you that the most beautiful and sexy women aren't throwing themselves at your average feet. It's because they're all lesbians, isn't it? Blech. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 For some reason I'm usually more attracted to average to below average looking girls than really attractive ones. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Serious question Quietguy, what do you feel would be your female equivalent? Link to post Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 For some reason I'm usually more attracted to average to below average looking girls than really attractive ones. Could it be that on a subconscious level, you feel that average or below average girls would be more open to dating you than above average ones, and therefore you find them more attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 The OP doesn't seem to realize (care?) that by complaining about beauties not wanting average guys, while he himself doesn't want average women, he is doing the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 My grandmother always used to tell me, "love the ones that love you." I have always followed that bit of advice and, for the most part, been very successful. Good one! I love grandmother advice Mine always said: Average is good enough. and We women all look the same when we are upside down. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Could it be that on a subconscious level, you feel that average or below average girls would be more open to dating you than above average ones, and therefore you find them more attractive? I dunno, it's definatley a possibility. I also prefer porn with average looking women in it too, maybe for that same reason? Link to post Share on other sites
misssmartypants Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Most people have something about them that could be better and most people have flaws. The op is looking only at one feature - physical beauty. Even if he were very very attractive he probably wouldnt be successful with women. It's evidence of very skewed values and lack of basic social skills. Both of which are necessary for healthy successful relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 We women all look the same when we are upside down Gotta love babies and grandmas That's priceless. "love the ones that love you." I think that's great advice for a lady, and appropriate. I wonder what advice grandpa has for his grandson? OP, I've never really had a quantifiable criteria for whom I pursued. Either I found them attractive in the elemental sense or I didn't. Their looks, personalities, social status and monetary wealth have been, literally, all over the place. While I may be guilty of using the word 'average' on these forums more than is healthy, I'm working on it I really can't tell you what is 'best'. I only know what has and hasn't worked for me. So far, the 'average' results are fail Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 In general you should seek to date people you have something in common with and who is fun to be around. And when they reject you, then what? Go for people you find unappealing and can't stand? My grandmother always used to tell me, "love the ones that love you." I have always followed that bit of advice and, for the most part, been very successful. And when nobody loves you? Link to post Share on other sites
misssmartypants Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 You are your own worst enemy. Your requirements in a woman are too stringent and you exude self loathing. Until you are happy with yourself and can be realistic about women you will continue to be unsuccessful. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 And when they reject you, then what? Go for people you find unappealing and can't stand? . Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Go for people you find unappealing and can't stand? I did that once. Bad idea. Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 16, 2012 Author Share Posted January 16, 2012 You are your own worst enemy. Your requirements in a woman are too stringent and you exude self loathing. Until you are happy with yourself and can be realistic about women you will continue to be unsuccessful. My requirements are not too stringent.(whatever that means.. i dont know vocab). My requirements are just decently beautiful, nice person and kind. WHat's stringent about that? -- And to the person who said "But if you put your efforts into pursuing personal excellence (ie improving yourself physically, mentally, financially, socially, spiritually etc etc) people will be drawn to that. " That's not true. some of us are limited mentally, etc and we do what we can. i study etc i try to do exe rcise etc, and i go out there and people just think i'm stupid because i can't speak well. I even try to talk to some girls and they just fake to be nice to me but then i see them go talk with the talkative dudes and they love talking to them cause they can talk fast. Link to post Share on other sites
misssmartypants Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 I was talking to somedude81 who has posted at length about his requirements in a woman. So you don't look great and you have trouble learning and you aren't a quick talker. Your vocabulary is small and you use "ect" improperly. By your disruption you are a below average man wanting beautiful women. Not interesting women. Not nice women. Beautiful women. If you don't see them problem with that we can't help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 OP creeps me out. There. I said it. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Good one! I love grandmother advice Mine always said: Average is good enough. and We women all look the same when we are upside down. Hey! That was exactly my grandfather's advice regarding women. He said pick the one that is going to make a good wife and mother... because when you turn women upside down... they all look the same. Sometimes I think our grandparents generation had an earthy wisdom that our parents and even our own generation seriously lacks. Link to post Share on other sites
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