betterdeal Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Let's have an orgy. All we need is a big bag of ecstasy and a venue with several discrete nooks and crannies. Then all the horny ladies and gents can be getting down to the loving. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 On a slightly more serious note, of the women in the group I spent my 20s / early 30s with, the one that looks most like verhrzn, married last year and looked stunning. She had food intolerances diagnosed some years ago and changed her diet, and that made her feel a lot better and it showed in her skin. I don't quite know what she did last year before the wedding, but she slimmed down quite a bit, going from (what I imagine to be) her upper ideal weight to her lower ideal. She, incidentally, has never been short of a long term lover in the 15 years I've known her, but that's by the by: It was the food intolerance stuff that changed her life so worth looking into for anyone who feels the need to feel better in their own skin. The other 3 all have children & careers: 2 are married; 1 engaged; the prettiest being the last one to settle down (she had the hardest time finding a long term partner). Personality, not getting stuck in pointless negative spirals, and luck being the greatest determinate of their fortunes. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I'm in my early 20s and most of the hot girls I've approached have this self-entitlement attitude. They know they can get what they want and most of the time what they want is not what I am. However, I don't only approach 'hot' girls, I go for girls that I am attracted to, which doesn't necessarily mean she's hot. She may be average looking in another's eye but as long as I'm attracted to her that's all that matters. The general trend has been: girls that I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and girls that are interested in me, I'm not interested in (not attracted to them). I'm average in terms of looks but take care of myself and do the best with what I have. I don't except a certain look from the girls I want to date, just someone I'm attracted to, who is attracted to me, and we have fun together. So far I've only been with one girl like that which ended up miserably. But I will continue going for what I want. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 What is it you want? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 No, you definitely have me mixed up with somebody else. I haven't posted pictures of models. My main requirements for weight is that a girl can't be heavier than I am, which is 150 and she has to be height weight proportionate. So yeah, a girl that's 5'3, 145 is too heavy for me. I've never approached party girls. I've no interest in that type of woman. Yes the the women I do approach are all younger than me, that's what happens when I'm 30 years old at a university. They are not all party girls and many girls I have pursued have common interests and hobbies with me. And youre only 150 lbs. Some girls may consider you too small:p Hit the weights brah. Eat some food too lol Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 And youre only 150 lbs. Some girls may consider you too small:p Hit the weights brah. Eat some food too lol That's where being taller would help. Easier to pack more muscle on a bigger frame. And that's just one of the advantages. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Sorry to point this out, but it's the same with women and how they view men's height. That any man lower than 5'10" or 5'9" will be labeled as short... That disgusts me too. But it is what it is. For women, who like tall men, that's just a preference. For men who like slim women, well that's just a preference too (though not mine). ...I most certainly do not consider a 5'9" man short, jobaba. Link to post Share on other sites
bean1 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I guess, I see it like this: - Some men have unrealistic standards of a woman's weight. That is HIS problem. He is the one eliminating average (assuming around a BMI of 25ish is 'average'/slightly below average (ie. BMI 25+) women from his pool (which is the majority). HE is the one who has narrowed his dating pool. - Let's say he is the kind of guy who is only physically attracted to certain figures (slim/'curvy' with the hips/boobs but tiny waists, a somewhat unrealistic look) -> but he decides to start dating girls that he perceives to be somewhat unattractive sexually but decides to settle. - Now he decides to marry her. She has kids, gains weight, like most mothers do (and if any of you girls have children, you should know how much harder this is after a baby). - Now he comes onto LS marriage section and complain that he is so unattracted sexually to his wife that he wants a divorce. Now he's bitched at again for being shallow or whatever, AGAIN. Maybe he should have just stuck with his narrow dating pool in the first place. After all, if he's not going to date *you* because he deems you "chubby', are you upset that he's narrowed his chances and you dont' want him to be foreveralone? Or are you upset because you've just been called chubby by some guy you don't know and offended by THAT??? I am slim. I am 5'5 and 128lbs. I also have practically no boobs (maybe a big A/small B when nursing a newborn). Do I give a crap that a man will not date me because of it? Do I want him to date me and then tell me 5 years later that he always thought I was sexually unattractive but that he tried anyways because he should?? Uh no. I just date the ass man who doesn't care about the boobs and still loves my ass 5 years later. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 A BMI of 25 is in the overweight range and the beginning of obese on some charts. Though I still agree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Nooo. That's just a bunch of semi-mystical mental masturbation. All a guy needs to do is get his life in order and then, after the career and prowess (at SOMETHING) are done, do what you need to do to date what you like. A lot of guys are unwilling to do the work and then on top of that unwilling to do whatever it takes to date what they like. We just said the exact same thing, except that I suggested libido can motivate a man to change and you offered no suggestion at all as to what would motivate change in someone who is resistant to it. What the crap is "mystical" about sex drive as a motivator for change? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 'Sexy' and 'beautiful' mean different things to different people, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' So it's a pointless question. For example, muscly physiques do not appeal to me, and confidence isn't something I particularly look for, I find shy men more attractive. I don't care what his job unless it conflicts with some beliefs of mine (ie working in a slaughterhouse). What's a 'typical' woman???! *sigh* Many guys dream of beauties and sexy girls. But there are many problems with this when the average guys are not the type of guy typical women want. -Tyipcal woman want someone from around the same social class. (ie. University graduates want university graduates or at least smart talktaive guys) -Average guys have average looks and although women say looks don't matter, women actually do lust after handsome guys just like men do about sexy girls -Women want guys who are confident. Well what average guy is gonna feel confident when society keeps putting him down cause he's average with an average job and doens't make alot of money and is not a great business man.Instead an average guy may be doing restaurant job or some low end clerical job and women think men like that are losers. So this desire for confident guys is even more in Sexy beauties. -Like i said, average guys have average jobs so we're not gonna have 6 figure salaries etc and many women equate this to LOSER. Again, the beauties and sexys which men desire are usually middle to upper class and they want to live with someone like that OR even if they're not that rich, they want to find a guy who has a good job so that they can share a lifestyle similar to the lifestyle she lives now OR share hobbies etc and share experiences of a similar social class. -Like I've heard before, from Women here in this site, WOMEN WANT A MAN WITH SUBSTANCE who is articulate and can engage in intelligent conversation. An average guys is well.......AVERAGE!! Not the best talker, not a nerd, not very articulate. ..maybe is not into reading novels or literature etc. Maybe not well traveled or maybe hasn't traveled at all. Maybe comes from a poor family. *** BY THE WAY I"M TALKING ABOUT AVERAGE GUY with average meaning Average in all aspects(intelligence, looks, job) SO ANYWAYS, as you can see there are many things that are reasons why Average Men can't get beauties that they have always dreamed of. But interestingly, and i found this from experience, finding friends and girls who are average is reallllyyyy easy. As you've maybe read I've tried talking to beauties and i'm just ignored. I've gone to school etc and beauties don't even look at me once. Meanwhile I've tralked to average girls and JUST LIKE THAT, because i'm a nice person, I have made friends with Average girls. Many of them even wanting to be my GF. But is going and settling for Average girls, really something good to do? or should you go and TAKE THE CHALLENGE so that you end up with girls you realy are attracted to.? I know people here have said many times that Looks are not important and that guys who want Beauties/Sexy girls are shallow. WEll if we are really attracted to Beauties there must be a reason for it, so why NOT try to get the girls you want! But then again, i don't know if it's worth it because as i pointed out, it's very unlikely for an average guy like me to get the girls i am attracted to since they usualy are not interested in men like me. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 But a woman under 35, no kids, who is lonely. Doesn't exist. There are hundreds of thousands of women who fit this exact demographic, but they're very difficult to locate because the reason they're lonely is they avoid social situations where you'd normally meet them. You have to happen across them somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 There are hundreds of thousands of women who fit this exact demographic, but they're very difficult to locate because the reason they're lonely is they avoid social situations where you'd normally meet them. You have to happen across them somewhere. I don't really believe it. If anything, they should be all over this forum. But they're not. From what I've seen, the only women in that demographic who aren't dating is because they live in Smalltown USA where there are no single men. In that case, I think she should quit her job at her parents general store and move to the big city. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Maybe he should have just stuck with his narrow dating pool in the first place. Sure, stick with the narrow pool. But don't complain when that narrow pool of women has their own narrow pool, and you aren't in it. That is just hypocrisy. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Sure, stick with the narrow pool. But don't complain when that narrow pool of women has their own narrow pool, and you aren't in it. That is just hypocrisy. Excellent point as always, xxoo. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) If anything, they should be all over this forum. But they're not. Forums are EXTREMELY niche, the percentage of the population who have ever used one is in the single digits. I've gone out with at LEAST half a dozen women from online dating sites who fit the demographic you described, ones who "finally gave in" and tried them. Most people won't try online dating even if they're lonely either because they think it makes them seem desperate, although I firmly believe the unspoken truth of it is usually that they're just afraid of being wounded by putting themselves out there and getting negative response. Two of my three long-term relationships have been with women exactly as you describe, including my current one. One of my ex's had a twin sister who was single from 25 until her current age of 42 who just avoided social situations. My current girlfriend hadn't been in a long-term relationship until she was with me at the age of 34. She wanted one that whole time but was just afraid to put herself into situations where she'd meet men. I'm pretty sure she also wouldn't respond to signals, either, nor send any of her own. Her body is a HUGE threat to guys as well so I know that contributes to it. I was very surprised at first she hadn't been asked out a lot more, but it makes sense to me now that I've had a year of seeing how often men are intimidated by her in public. There are just butt-tons of the women you described out there, although I'm sure the great majority of them are homely in various ways and wouldn't meet your requirements. Edited January 18, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaticClarity Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Have you looked at this site? Very interesting site. I was surprised there were so many girls under 5' until I noticed that most of the ones who are 4' 2", 4' 3", etc are actually 5' x" and entered the foot number in wrong. I had never heard this whole apple/pear terminology until my girlfriend called herself an apple a few months ago and found it odd since I think of apples as mostly being round. Why is a girl with slender hips and bust a "banana"? Seems like the wrong-shaped fruit since it's curved, I always heard them called stringbeans. Edited January 18, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 That's where being taller would help. Easier to pack more muscle on a bigger frame. And that's just one of the advantages. Actually being shorter is better for building muscle. You wont build it any slower or faster than if you were taller but any muscle you do build will be visible more quickly. 10 lbs of added muscle on a 5'9 frame looks bigger than the same amount of a 6'2 frame. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Sure, stick with the narrow pool. But don't complain when that narrow pool of women has their own narrow pool, and you aren't in it. That is just hypocrisy. Big applause to this. That's really at the heart of what the posters are disapproving of. The OP has a heightened sense of entitlement... HE should get to have attraction requirements (young, slim, beautiful) but the WOMEN should date down to him. I don't necessarily suggest that guys lower their own attraction quota. My advice would be that they need to first accept that their attraction quota might be a bit difficult to attain (young, slim, beautiful women.) That's the kind of girl that's ALWAYS in high demand (high market value.) So they either need to raise their own market value (making more money, working out more, growing a super charming personality, etc.) or accept that if they don't want to work at it, it's gonna take a while (possibly forever) to achieve a girl of that stature. (And she may come with other downsides, like baggage from past jerks.) If guys don't want to chase girls they aren't attracted to, AND don't really want to work at becoming something the girls they want are attracted to, fine, but then they need to stop whining about how lonely they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 But a woman under 35, no kids, who is lonely. Doesn't exist. I'm under 35. I have no kids. I am sometimes lonely for male partnership. I have been turned down by men. The fact that some of the men here refuse to believe that women aren't human enough to experience hardship and loneliness is really reached the point of ridiculousness. It seems that men that think this way rather live in the fantasy land of "hotties" (maxim like models) that probably never go without male companionship then see how much REAL women do struggle with things just like men can. Notice how I KNOW that men have their own struggles and I don't attempt to act like they don't. What is "average" anyway? "Average" is a dangerous word. It's a box people can fit you into based on their own qualfications, not yours. If normal people settled for "average", we'd have a lot less successful normal people out there. Do you know why? Because famous people or rich people aren't above the human population. They are just normal people with some special tricks of their sleave. I have been wildly attracted to average men. I have been wildly turned off by stereotypcially "hot guys". And yes, I have been turned off by average men too and turned on by stereotycial "hot guys". For me, it never came down to looks but to chemistry. And I think it's because I don't see men as a stepping stone to my sexual attraction. That there are other things I enjoy about men. If the only thing you enjoy about women are their looks, then you will be seeking the golden calf that doesn't even exsist. A woman can't fix your problems and if you look to women to fix them, you are only going to be disappointed. You don't have to "settle" for average but you have to be realistic. If you spent your whole life masturbating to porn like women and now can't figure out why you aren't attracted to regular women, you need to ask yourself whats going on inside you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Big applause to this. That's really at the heart of what the posters are disapproving of. The OP has a heightened sense of entitlement... HE should get to have attraction requirements (young, slim, beautiful) but the WOMEN should date down to him. . If Women take care of themselves and are not overweight..They actually fit the young, slim, beautiful. Most women do. And also being a nice person is what i want. Most women who take care of themselves wil be like this so i'm not narrowing my pool... In fact it's the biggest pool. In fact of 100% of women in my age range of dating, 80 percent fit what i want. But the only thiing that those in that pool are missing is being nice and accepting of men that are not rich or great talkers.. And al i'm asking from them is being healthy and good heart. Meanwhile those women would ask of me to be rich and a great talker. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hang on, aren't you the guy with a long series of false alarm medical ailments? Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hang on, aren't you the guy with a long series of false alarm medical ailments? Yeah so what?? I have things that can't be helped. And i'm still slim because i even try my best to do exrecise even if i limp. So the girls that dont have broken knees or whatver have no excuse to be overweight and do nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Is that street Yiddish? What's a "brah"? sounds more like bull crap to me Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts