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Can someone tell me whats going on? mixed signals


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Ive had this girl as an acquaintance for nearly a year now and each time wed see each other shed hug me and smile and tell me im her favorite and she "freaking loves me" but we never had each others numbers or hung out with each other besides running into each other through other people till like a week ago. she was kissing one of our friends at the club and they left early and I thought they were dating so I backed off. Well she texted me all flirty which I acted uninterested cause I dont do friends wrong like that. But we agreed to go out together that night and she came to my house and voluntarily told me they left early because hes interested in her and she doesnt like him like that and he was being overbearing. anyways we had lots of fun touching and flirting such as shed spout off how shes a sucker for guys with nice trucks followed by "I really like your truck" and the deepest convo at the end of the night where she told me she doesnt feel this confortable with anyone and told me all this stuff about her( is this friend zone comfortable or interested?) and so I went in for a quick kiss and she complied at the end of the night.

 

2 days later (last night) I won us tickets to a show and got us in VIP and we had a blast. On our way there she complained about how clingy and fatherlike our friend was being again and I gave her my advice (bad move I Know) to stop kissing him if she doesnt like him cause it gives mixed signals. and she rambled about how shes glad for what she has and likes having "best friends" I think trying to see what my reaction would be and I just ignored that and changed the subject. as we got there she started putting on lipstick in front of me in my truck and I said I wanted some and I went in for a kiss and she complied again(only a peck this time). I made sure to decide where we went, listening to her suggestions but doing the opposite of what she said sometimes so as not to be a doormat, I made sure to touch her when we were talking , had a confident demeanor the whole night, and saw so many people that I knew she kept commenting on how social I was and how i "knew everyone" and was always complimenting me and telling me how much fun she was having and how thankful she was for me doing this for her. we were under the influence of ..stuff people do at raves a lot.. and so I said "I know what would feel good" and acted like the man by lightly grabbing her chin and going for a kiss but this time she pulled away and said "I dont do PDA" but then said "but youre right that probably would feel amazing."(wtf) we went to our mutual friend(the clingy one) house to smoke after the show ended and she was all responsive to his convo and would only initiate convo every now and then with me but maybe its just cause theyre good friends and she feels guilty for not reciprocating his feelings?

 

I just dont understand.....what am I doing wrong I wait to reply to her texts, I act cocky and confident and tease her and half the time she sends off flirty and willing vibes but then she acts distant. is she playing hard to get or is she trying to friend zone me? she wanted to come over today and smoke and play xbox..should I cancel and make myself more scarce? or should I go through with things like this and build more rapport?

 

she just moved back here and had a BF in the old city which she left because she didnt want to do long distance so I understand not wanting to hop into anything right now but how can I sustain sexual tension and avoid the friend zone in the mean time?Should I let her know that im romantically interested in her but that theres no pressure?

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She's not dumb; she knows you are romantically interested already.

 

The issue is that she is already hooking up with someone else.

 

So make your life easier and find another girl to mess around with.

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that would be the obvious train of thought if it was that cut and dry but the confusion im feeling comes from her only kissing and nothing more with said other person (not even making out) and always complaining about how shes told him theres nothing there while she always flirts with me.

 

either way yea since posting this I stopped contacting her. not gonna invest that much emotion into someone so confusing as much as I liked her though

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How do you know that all she has done with other guy is kiss?

 

And since when did "just kissing" mean so little that it no longer matters?

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cause I know this other kid hes also a friend which is why I did not return her flirting when I thought they had something going on and this started recently. She told me everything the first night we hung out as more than acquaintances and how hes all clingy ever since she accidently kissed him on new years. and I consider kisses pretty insignificant if its just pecks but thats just me. She did kiss me twice after all =/

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You must be pretty young?

 

Women don't accidentally kiss men. AND they don't accidentally kiss a man, and then leave a party early with him because he likes her and she doesn't like him.

 

She's not being truthful about her interactions with him.

 

She sounds like trouble. Likely she is very young, too, and she very well may mature and grow out of this, but for now, stay well away from her. For years.

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"And since when did "just kissing" mean so little that it no longer matters?" - I liked this line. exactly what I was gonna say. that kiss with the other guy is not JUST a kiss especially since she seems to be going out with you and encouraging you at the same time. nice, good girls don't do things like these.

 

i see serious red flags here. the girl sounds immmature, unstable and makes herself seem easy by flirting with anyone, people she just calls "friends". do you actually want to be in a relationship with such a person? date her at your own risk. but you're better off finding someone more mature and stable.

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sorry its so hard to convey the whole picture with only text without writing an essay lol but yea were both in college.

 

anyways in an effort to get sound understanding and replies I wont leave out any details. the night she accidentally kissed him she was on a lot of MDMA which is a minor form of ecstacy(new years). She left the club with him on monday when we were all at a show because he was the one who brought her and her only option for an exit and she wanted to leave because she wanted to dance and he kept being clingy and not letting herand it was ruining her time. this is all how she described/I witnessed it.

 

nonetheless im on the same page as both of you. Im 5 months out of a relationship and not looking for any more drama so I decided all this confusing crap wasnt worth my time right now and stopped contacting her since making this thread.she and I have always got along great though and have a lot in common so it would have been nice.

 

just the other day out of nowhere she texts me "im by your house betch!" and I probably couldve been nicer but just replied "doing what?" and that was that. thanks yall

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