Stung Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Lately, I am feeling a little off-center and I think it is showing in my personal life. We've been through a lot of stressful stuff in the past couple years and I think too much of it is bleeding through, making me less generous of spirit than I usually think of myself as being. I have been snapping, placing blame, just generally more irritable and less patient and forgiving, I think, and I don't like it. While I have had to be assertive and set boundaries, I don't want to overdo it and just be controlling and pissy. I understand my personal defense mechanisms pretty well, have already been through years of therapy in my 20s, so I feel fairly well equipped at understanding the basics of what's going on with me as long as I'm self-aware. Right now I think I just need more of a vent than I have now, a way to blow off steam, and better ways to center myself, let go of frustration. My husband and I joined a gym last week, which should help. I already went for a 2-mile walk every day plus I chase my kids around and do a lot of yardwork, but I'm looking forward to getting more active in different ways. I am also considering something like meditation, if I can get into it for just a few minutes a day, to relieve stress/anxiety. Does anybody here do any meditation techniques or have thoughts on it? Got a good website or book for somebody who is looking for something simple, not a tantric connection to the universe just sort of a grounding? I'm thinking it might be a good way to remind myself sometimes to take a step back and breathe. I tried it when I was younger but I had a hard time sitting still and taking it seriously without my mind buzzing off in a million directions. I'm a bit mellower and more focused now. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 (edited) Look at Jon Kabat Zinn, with or without Andrew Weil (with Weil it's Meditation for Optimum Health). Download MP3s, purchase CDs through Amazon, there are options. Mindfulness, stress reduction, good stuff. For books, Full Catastrophe Living, also by Zinn. Edited January 19, 2012 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I've used meditation for stress management for about a decade. I used to do silent meditation, but over the past year or so I've switched predominantly to guided meditation. If you are on Spotify, just search 'guided meditation' and you'll get a lot of alternatives, then listen to a few and see which voices/ styles you feel you can work with. IME, guided meditation is a bit easier to work with compared to silent meditation if you're finding it difficult to focus. Fifteen minutes a day combined with some physical exercise should make a difference quite fast. If you can add a longer session once a week (say, an hour), I think you should get some good results. Like many other things in life, the more you do it and the more regularly you do it, the better the effects. I was first introduced to meditation by way of yoga, but today I don't really follow a particular 'style', I've been to Buddhist, Christian and Sufi meditation groups and have enjoyed them all. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I like yoga as a moving meditation. I also like to simply lie down for 5-30 minutes, let my eyelids get heavy and practice relaxing the forehead. After a bit of practice, I feel that deep relaxation one feels just before drifting off to sleep and it radiates down from the head through the body. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stung Posted January 19, 2012 Author Share Posted January 19, 2012 Thanks for the replies, folks. I like yoga as a moving meditation. I also like to simply lie down for 5-30 minutes, let my eyelids get heavy and practice relaxing the forehead. After a bit of practice, I feel that deep relaxation one feels just before drifting off to sleep and it radiates down from the head through the body. Betterdeal, I did that this morning, it seemed like just a simple, direct, clear method. Granted, I was tired as my toddler has had a few rough nights recently plus I take a medication that makes me tired all the time anyway, but I fell asleep . Snoozing away on my floor, I had a dream that we lost our house in a foreclosure and then the dream moved on to the apocalypse. The extra sleep felt great but that wasn't exactly the psychological stress-release I was looking for . I should try it again when I'm more awake, though. I do yoga for my back, but I'm a novice so I'm concentrating on my muscles and balance then, and feeling awkward. Cerri, Denise, I will look up those resources. I hadn't really considered guided meditation but it might be a great place to start, and keep me from falling asleep. I can't get an hour a week reliably, but I can do ten-fifteen minutes a day. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Do you feel like you're in the dream or are an observer? If you're thinking, "hmm, this is a weird dream" and observing it, that can be a good stress release - just letting those weird thoughts and dreams happen while you're observing (a bit like watching your toddler have a tantrum and letting them run out of steam). Some times you may have positive dreams and then learn how to encourage them with a happy thought as you start your rest. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Cerri, Denise, I will look up those resources. I hadn't really considered guided meditation but it might be a great place to start, and keep me from falling asleep. I can't get an hour a week reliably, but I can do ten-fifteen minutes a day. Don't even worry about it, Stung. I fall asleep all the time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stung Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Do you feel like you're in the dream or are an observer? If you're thinking, "hmm, this is a weird dream" and observing it, that can be a good stress release - just letting those weird thoughts and dreams happen while you're observing (a bit like watching your toddler have a tantrum and letting them run out of steam). Some times you may have positive dreams and then learn how to encourage them with a happy thought as you start your rest. I am pretty much always actively in my dreams, which is why I am happiest when I have my fantastic futuristic outer space swashbuckling adventure dreams, or the surreal mythical godhood resurrection dreams, rather than the fiery apocalyptic genre where my family burns to ash. Sometimes if I wake up briefly and then slip back into a dream, I'm in a more lucid state and can exercise some control or at least just observe from a remove, which is interesting. Don't even worry about it, Stung. I fall asleep all the time! But I've got goals here, lady! I need to stop being such a crabby patty. Link to post Share on other sites
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