yessy21 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Sometimes at night i cant sleep... because im thinking about this person that damaged everything in me. who tore my soul out. and then i have this wonderful person laying next to me, who seems to care about me and my child unconditionally. and i feel guilty.. because its not that i dont love him its that i cant forget no matter how hard i try. its been such a long time and i still feel stung. ive been with my bf for a year and i still cant get rid of these memories, or the pain. my bf is happy with me but am i going to spend the rest of my life laying awake at night thinking about this other person? i dont think im in love with that person i just cant believe that he hated me enough to destroy me. what reasons did he have? i will never have my answers but i dont want to dream of him anymore. i dont want to remember anything of him. i wish i could erase him from my mind. im starting to think i might need therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 You need to find peace with the situation. Inner forgiveness to both your ex and to yourself for everything that happened and what you allowed to happen. Therapy might not be a bad idea as a therapist may be able to help you find the tools to resolve these unresolved issues. "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." - Confucius Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Therapy could very well be a useful tool at this point. You know you have someone good now, and you know the person you keep thinking about isn't even worth it, now you just need someone to help you make the transition to stop this cycle. I really think you owe it to yourself and your new BF to at least give it a try. If you aren't going to do everything in your power to get this stuff out of your head, then it's really not fair to the new guy. Don't just talk about it, take the next step and try to find a place where you would be able to talk to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 You need to find peace with the situation. Inner forgiveness to both your ex and to yourself for everything that happened and what you allowed to happen. Therapy might not be a bad idea as a therapist may be able to help you find the tools to resolve these unresolved issues. "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." - Confucius I second this. You need to forgive yourself and your ex for the pain that was caused in the past. Once you can find it within yourself to forgive, then that is when you will be able to live your life happily and to the fullest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yessy21 Posted January 19, 2012 Author Share Posted January 19, 2012 I second this. You need to forgive yourself and your ex for the pain that was caused in the past. Once you can find it within yourself to forgive, then that is when you will be able to live your life happily and to the fullest. WHat he did to me...is something that eventually...one day... i could forgive. But what he did to my daughter is something that i will never be able to forgive. And i lay there thinking why? Why hurt us? What did i do to you? what did she do to you? Im trying to see if there is any economical way to get therapy.... Last night i dreamt of him again and i wasnt even thinking of him when i went to sleep. I dont know what to do. its like a curse. like im being punished for something. and the thing is i try to brush it off and keep going through with my day but the dream impacted my memory enough for me to remember. Link to post Share on other sites
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