Dysfunction at it's finest. (Venting)

[Clep]

I have a family that is quite dysfunctional. I am the only member that moved past our abusive alcoholic childhood with the aid of much therapy in several different ways.

 

I have two sisters and a mother that need some serious help. My one sister I have always gotten along with, but her relationship with our family is chaotic. My family won't speak to me as they are not okay with my boundaries where they are concerned. I won't get involved with what they want from me so they have no use for me. My sister that lives with me had my family actually take everything she owns out of her home and disperse it between them all. It was crazy.

 

I have noticed very erratic behavior from my sister for the past two weeks. It started when I noticed her addiction to pills and continued on when I let her know I was not going to pay her way through life. She needs to pay rent, use her own vehicle, etc. That didn't go over well and she has been passive aggressive for the past week quite severely. Last night she got drunk and started a scene in front of my son. That was the end of it for me.

 

My husband took our son downstairs and I called the police. She was swearing and screaming at them. I can't believe the verbal abuse they took from her!!! She was taken to a shelter and I will not allow her to get her belongings from our house without police presence.

 

She is moving back with our family who are now going to help her. This is such a terrible cycle for her of running back to our family when she screws things up, until they screw her over again.

 

I can't even believe I came from this sick Springer family. It is so painful to see them like this. My niece and father both died so emotionally sick last year. It is so hard to see all of them living like this. Now all of my family live on one property together, in trailers, only one employed and fighting among each other. My mom is 67, sisters 47 and 48, living off of my one sister's husband.

 

It is just crazy how they can all cosign each other's sick behavior and denial of the situation. When things go so poorly for them, they find someone to blame instead of taking ownership for their own lives, perceptions and choices. I just can't believe it. I feel so sad for them all today.

[Philosoraptor]

I feel very sad for everyone in that situation. You tried to do a good thing and it just didn't work out the way you hoped. Congratulations on getting out of that situation healthy.

[Downtown]

Clep, it sounds like many of your family members may suffer from strong traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which my exW. Because BPD is believed to be due to a combination of genetics and environment, it often affects multiple members of the same family. I therefore suggest you read about the nine BPD traits so you are able to spot the red flags -- to see if they sound familiar and seem to describe your family members' behaviors.

 

The best selling BPD book (targeted to the nonBPD family members) is called Stop Walking on Eggshells. For a quick overview of BPD traits, see my posts in Rebel's thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3398735#post3398735. If that discussion rings a bell, Clep, I would be glad to discuss it with you. Take care.

[Clep]

I went there and it did not take me to the link. It just said "no thread specified".

[Downtown]

Clep, sorry about that. Perhaps the link got corrupted. Here it is again http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/275289-crazy-i-think-but-i-love-her-anyway#post3398735. If that still doesn't work, please check out my posts in Inigo's thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/233682-ever-been-someone-you-know-isnt-right-yet-you-have-difficult-time-moving#post2826453. Or look at my posts in LoveSunk's thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/276094-unsure-if-i-made-right-decision#post3375418.