tlamb93 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 This is more of a vent, so bear with me. Advice would be fantastic though. Please excuse the swearing, I'm just really upset about this whole thing right now. So me and my girlfriend broke up recently because we're going to two different colleges. We both still love eachother, and this is a problem. When she proposed being friends, I told her I couldn't because I was still attracted to her and was still in love with her. I explained that it would be just too painful. She started crying and told me that she needed me in her life. So I caved in and agreed to her suggestion. I told her that I need her in my life as much as she's been ever since we met, and that I don't want to crank our relationship down a notch. She agreed, and said she'd be happy to because she still loves me. However, so far this **** sucks. Royally. I see her in school, all the time. And suddenly it's almost like she's already showing less effort right off the bat. It's almost like that she doesn't want people to see us together, because we're "officially not dating", that whole FBO bull****. However, when I call her at night she treats me like her boyfriend. Calls me handsome, very talkative, much of the same behavior she had when we were dating. What the **** is her deal? I told her that we need to have the same close relationship that we've had since we met, or we can't have anything to do with eachother because it would just be a constant reminder of what I had, loved, and will always remember, but can't have now. My plan is to remove myself from her life temporarily. Five days at most. I just need her to see what it's like to not have me in her life, I need her to miss me and show some love. She says she loves me, but she hasn't been proving it. I'm ****ing sick of it and I need some proof soon or I'm removing myself from her life forever, if she's so truly in love with me she should be able to show it with ease. This hiatus will also give her some space - help her think about what she really wants and if I'm worth the effort while we're in college. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Ugh, not this again. Look, you agreed to be her friend, and now you're upset because she's treating you like a friend? That doesn't make any sense. I told her that we need to have the same close relationship that we've had since we met, or we can't have anything to do with each other You're not her boyfriend anymore. Do you understand? You broke up. You can't expect her to treat you like a boyfriend, especially since you agreed to just be friends. You didn't really mean it when you agreed to that, did you? She says she loves me, but she hasn't been proving it. She also said she just wants to be friends, and I think she's proving it very well. It kind of seems like you don't believe her when she says she just wants to be friends. You say "OK, we can just be friends, but our relationship has to stay the same." WTF? You've been demoted from boyfriend to friend; your relationship cannot possibly stay the same. I'm ****ing sick of it and I need some proof soon or I'm removing myself from her life forever, if she's so truly in love with me she should be able to show it with ease. This hiatus will also give her some space - help her think about what she really wants and if I'm worth the effort while we're in college. Hasn't she already decided that you're not worth the effort while you're in college? That's why she's breaking up with you now. She tells you that she wants to break up, she doesn't want to be more than friends, and you expect her to prove her love for you? She's trying to break up with you! Why the hell would she want to prove her love for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Sounds like you're playing silly games. The right way to play is if she's not treating your right break up with her. You don't make her miss you with some 5 day thing... good chance of back firing really. If dating her is more of a pain then pleasure then just dump her and start dating a new girl. You'll be in love by this time next week. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 If dating her is more of a pain then pleasure then just dump her and start dating a new girl. They're not dating, lol. This girl wants to break up with him but remain his friend, and he's not liking it. She's the one trying to dump him! Meanwhile, he's trying to get her to prove her love. It's a crazy world we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 They're not dating, lol. This girl wants to break up with him but remain his friend, and he's not liking it. She's the one trying to dump him! Meanwhile, he's trying to get her to prove her love. It's a crazy world we live in. Well she still wants him in her life. What I'm saying is forget about her if thats what he needs to do. If he thinks things are going to work out then go ahead as long as he has hopes. Also I'd suggest he speak to his father about this if thats an option as it will hopefuly be higher quality advice then he can get over an internet forum. Link to post Share on other sites
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