Cheating Girlfriend

[Confused Joe]

Hi! This is my first time doing this, so please be kind enough to share your thoughts. We're both 24 Y.O. and from NY.

 

I've been together with my girlfriend for 5 years and 7 months. Things got a little bit confusing a while ago. I recently found-out that she lied to me. She met a guy in Florida while with her friends. She then found out that the guy is from NY also, and got in touch with each other. He asked her to fly to Miami and meet him and stay for 4 days while on a business trip. She hesistated for some time, but went to Florida anyway, telling me that she's going to Bahamas with her friend who will visit her family.

 

I found out also that when she got back in NY, she met the guy for another night for a drink. Alhough, she promised, nothing physical happenned between them.

 

She explained that it was "not herself"; going away with a stranger for no reason, which I know and her friends know it's not "her". But now, the trust we build for almost 6 years had been broken and I do not trust her anymore. She wants to work it out with me, because she knows for a fact that she wants to be with me as her husband. She explained that she wanted to reaffirm our relationship by doing what she did, without thinking of the consequences. She did it beside she was attracted to the idea of testing her love.

 

I don't know what to believe anymore. What should I do? Should I take the risk of continuing this? WHat if she is the one for me? But should I also waste more of my time? Should I give it some time to work it out, or just walk away with dignity for myself? One fact is, I love her very much. I'm very comfortable being with her, but I dont know if I can trust her back. What should I do? Please send me your response at <e-mail address removed> Thanks you very much.

[Deejette]

I don't know why your girlfriend would go to such great lengths as to fly to Florida just to meet this guy. That in itself would be pretty hard to take. How did they get in touch with each other? Did he ask for her number and she gave it, or did she approach him for his? It sounds like she went out of her way to be with him.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't like the sound of this. I don't like the fact that she told you she was going to the Bahamas and went to Florida instead. Sounds like she is keeping all her options open, hoping she can keep you while having a fling on the side with this guy.

 

You may want to forgive her, but deep down inside you will have that lack of trust that may poison the relationship down the line.

 

Talking it out with her and letting her know how deeply this hurt you is a good idea. From there you can gauge how sincere she is. Her excuses, such as, "I wasn't myself," sound fishy to me. Also, a person doesn't go all that distance for a chat over drinks.

Hi! This is my first time doing this, so please be kind enough to share your thoughts. We're both 24 Y.O. and from NY. I've been together with my girlfriend for 5 years and 7 months. Things got a little bit confusing a while ago. I recently found-out that she lied to me. She met a guy in Florida while with her friends. She then found out that the guy is from NY also, and got in touch with each other. He asked her to fly to Miami and meet him and stay for 4 days while on a business trip. She hesistated for some time, but went to Florida anyway, telling me that she's going to Bahamas with her friend who will visit her family. I found out also that when she got back in NY, she met the guy for another night for a drink. Alhough, she promised, nothing physical happenned between them. She explained that it was "not herself"; going away with a stranger for no reason, which I know and her friends know it's not "her". But now, the trust we build for almost 6 years had been broken and I do not trust her anymore. She wants to work it out with me, because she knows for a fact that she wants to be with me as her husband. She explained that she wanted to reaffirm our relationship by doing what she did, without thinking of the consequences. She did it beside she was attracted to the idea of testing her love. I don't know what to believe anymore. What should I do? Should I take the risk of continuing this? WHat if she is the one for me? But should I also waste more of my time? Should I give it some time to work it out, or just walk away with dignity for myself? One fact is, I love her very much. I'm very comfortable being with her, but I dont know if I can trust her back. What should I do? Please send me your response at <e-mail address removed> Thanks you very much.