lilmizsara Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 We started awhile back (2 years ago) after meeting at some school events in college. I don't know when it started but if I happened to look in his direction, he'd already have his eyes trained on me. And it'd seem like he was staring at me for quite abit already. This staring thing carried on throughout those events, whenever we were near each other, whenever I walked past him..when he was leaving a place I was at, he'd turn round to glance at me before leaving. But whenever we happened to lock eyes, he'd quickly look away. I'd also always find him standing very near me in enclosed spaces like the lifts. However, he tended to ignore me when he had friends around. We had incidents.. like this one time when I was alone in the corridor, he chose to sit behind me quietly on a bench. And after a team-mate asked me to go get some chairs, he immediately rushed forward and helped me take them all. I did try to speak to him on these occasions, however he was very subdued and quiet and only gave one word answers =/ the conversation usually died after awhile. If I say "thanks" or "hi" or something, I dont really get a response as well... hmm And at any dances during these events.. if he happened to be dancing very near me, he would totally stop and leave the place...which is strange cause he happens to be quite a dancer and likes showing it off. Anyway, that was that, after those events, whenever he saw me in school, he'd do that same old standing and observing/staring thing or just hang around longer at the place I was seated at.. all from a distance though. Now we share 2 classes! just last week as I was packing up after one ended, he by and stood in front of me, after I looked up and realised it was him, we locked eyes for awhile, then he just left! later at the lift landing, he came up and stood behind me. He did that this week as well. On both these occasions, he left his group of friends and was alone. And he quietly just stands directly behind me, looks occupied but seems tobe eavesdropping.. and the only time he looked up at me was when my friend chose to speak in Mandarin to me. I'm of chinese/indian parentage and physically look like neither. I wanted to speak to him then, but I just didnt know how to start.. he has this tendency to completely ignore me if his friends are around. and I just find his behaviour abit strange around me, considering that he's very high profile in school, is "popular", and pretty outspoken and loud in general. He also seems to interact pretty ok with both guys and girls. He doesn't come across as a flirty, charming, smooth sort, but he can converse and interact. However, he did mention that he used to be very shy, reserved and quiet before he entered college. shrugs. He usually looks very unapproachable and intimidating. Like, he's not the type to be warm and friendly and smile alot.. so i'm abit scared off by that. And he's been single since forever. I apologise for this wall of text. your thoughts? and what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My first thought is that if he is popular, gets on well with other students, converses easily with others and is "loud and outspoken", then he would be talking to you if he wanted to talk to you. If his behaviors belonged to a man who is currently shy, a loner and withdrawn from other students, then yes, he might be interested in you. But since one of the primary driving forces of young male behavior is sexual need, it is hard to imagine a self-assured man being afraid to say "Hello" or not to be able to carry on a conversation that a woman he is attracted to starts. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmizsara Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 (edited) ^ Thanks for your answer. That was my initial thought as well.. but. It's essentially just an assumption. "My first thought is that if he is popular, gets on well with other students, converses easily with others and is "loud and outspoken", then he would be talking to you if he wanted to talk to you." We are both assuming outspoken people talk to every single person they encounter, attracted or not. And we are assuming shy people do not talk much to people they encounter, attracted or not. But people are weird like that and don't necessarily act the same way towards everyone every single time. Someone outspoken might become shy around someone, someone shy might become bolder if he likes the person. who knows? And bear in mind I mentioned he was shy and reserved his entire life until he entered college. One has to think if this "outspoken"ness is really just a facade or its something real. "self-assured young man" - another assumption. we both don't know him well enough to make that statement. he could be self-assured in certain areas in life more than others etc. He does seem confident in things he knows he's good in, dancing, academics etc and tends to like to show it off. The seld-assurance in this area doesn't necessarily carry over elsewhere. Nothing wrong with what you said, but I just tend to take all these things into account and rarely make assumptions about a person's romantic behaviour based off a few personality traits. thanks Edited January 21, 2012 by lilmizsara additional text Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Good point. Neither of us should be making assumptions about someone else since neither of us know him. And since you have now secretly convinced yourself in your mind that he IS shy around women he likes and he IS unsure of how to approach someone he is attracted to and that he WAS always a socially insecure dweeb until the last 3 years of his life, what exactly are you asking for advice for, since no one can possibly give you advice since no one can possibly know him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmizsara Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) 'secretly convinced'- interesting choice of words. I'm not secretly convincing anyone. I observe and I deduce. Pretty simple. I asked a question to see if Ppl see things the same way I do, especially people who could have been in a very similar situation. It's ok if you don't or haven't experienced something like this. It's a public forum n I think we can ask any question we want within limits. Nobody has to explain their reasons for posting a question. Good day. Edited January 22, 2012 by lilmizsara Punctuation Link to post Share on other sites
TotalChaos Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Hate to say it, but something seems creepy to me about this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
fiatflux Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I concur that it seems creepy...he seems stalkerish with you. Maybe he's fascinated with your ethnic look but perceives some social pressure from friends to not show interest in you. (?) Link to post Share on other sites
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