youngster Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) My ex left me almost 2 months ago for the sake of her child. When I had originally asked her if it was because of her ex she said no, though I had my (confirmed) doubts. I have backed off and not contacted her for a few weeks after finding out she was trying to fix her family. However, I was listening to John Mayer's song "Say" and decided to try and contact her through email. I wrote her this- hi. Its been a while. I hope this letter finds you well. I don't mean to intrude on your life, just seein how you've been doing these past few weeks. I want to know if you're happy. You deserve to be happy. We both do. *I would never stand in the way of that. I just ask you to be honest with yourself and honest with me. I want to hear it from you.* The next day, she replied- hi. I'll have to admit that these weeks have been rough on me. Even typing up this letter is hard for me. I became very emotionally attached to you, so it's difficult not to hear from you every day. My happiness is not important to me anymore, <my son's> happiness is most important to me. Although it hurt me a lot, our break up was very necessary. I am working towards happiness. I want to know how you're doing. Are you happy? I didn't reply. I respect her for her honesty and for trying to make her family work. Who would I be to stand in the way of that anyway. Just wanted to get a little LS take on this. I too believe in the importance of NC. I KNOW I would be further along the healing process had I implemented it a while ago, but I also felt it necessary to write her. Edited January 20, 2012 by youngster Damnyouautocorrect!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pens55 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 It sounds like she was sincere in her response. Are you planning on responding, as she asked how you were? It seems that you should reciprocate and give her a gracious reply as well. I dont think it is right to ask her to answer a question and then not do the same in turn. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I agree with Pens55. It sounds like you got a nice response for the most part. She validated you somewhat and let you know that you weren't the reason for the break up. The part about the break up being "very necessary" would kind of sting me a little bit. Hopefully breaking NC didn't set you back, especially since her response was pretty favorable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngster Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yes. I have intentions on responding. I just want to make sure I say only what is necessary. This is actually what I've wanted since we broke up. I felt the way she had handled things when we first broke up robbed our relationship of any validation, which really hurt. But I know that she was most likely feeling guilty about having to choose her family over us. I completely respect the fact that she needs to put her family first. I was just going to convey that I held no regrets about her decision, remind her that she deserves the best, whether it be with or without me, and let her know that I too was working on being happy again. Breaking NC didn't set me back too far, it was actually quite sobering and helped me see what I need to concentrate on in order to fix me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pens55 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Sounds like you are handling this all in stride - good for you. Sure, its ok to take your time and plan out what you want to say - I just wasnt sure if your intentions were to give her some silent treatment (Obviously you arent that kind of person, so I apologize for considering it). Anyway, yep, keep it short and dont say anything that requires a response. That way, you can reply politely, but wont get sucked back into a long conversation. If she wants to get you back, she will make the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngster Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Thanks Guys. Pens no offense taken. I knew you meant well on your first post. It took me all weekend trying to figure out what to say. I may have still said too much. I truly appreciate the response. I know it can be difficult to express yourself sometimes, and completely understand that the well being of <your son> comes first. I also hope you know that you deserve the very best in life. You're a wonderful young woman, and enrich the quality of life for others. I count you as a blessing and appreciate the time we spent together. I too am working towards happiness. Keep your chin up, and smile. We'll get there.* What do you think? Too much? Either way, it's sent and I am not expecting a response. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 I think it was a very nice response. With so many people feeling anger toward people they broke up with, your response was very good. You left it like you are a great guy, understand the situation, and without any sort of begging or wishing things can be different. You let her know how you feel about her without being mushy or looking like you were trying to make her feel guilty, and you also let her know you are working towards happiness and not sitting around sulking. I wouldn't be surprised if she did reply. Let us know if she does and what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngster Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Thanks Frank. I like the reassurance that it wasnt all clouded with emotion and such. Initially the thoughts going through my head were all about feelings, etc. Thats why I took a few days to clear my head and "trim the fat". She knows what she means to me without me having to paint it on thick. Ill definitely let LS know if she replies. Link to post Share on other sites
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