ThaWholigan Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Bumped into a female friend some time ago and as we were walking down the road, she looked at me and said "You know, you look really intimidating at times". I did not know how to react, I think I just fed her some psycho-waffle about body language, but I thought about that recently and looked at pictures of me, and I think that both body wise and face wise, I do kind of look intimidating when I am not smiling (and it's worth noting that I smile a lot more nowadays) So guys, are you aware of how you come across in your manner when you approach a woman or speaking to her? And ladies, how often have you met a man that appeared physically intimidating in some way? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Posted some pics to illustrate point, and also for faux vanity reasons lol http://1.2.3.9/bmi/www.raskilrecords.com/images/stories/sion%201.jpg http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/83/cde9c6ea9d42f9923971ef4612127346/l.jpg http://pics.pof.com/dating/98/70/cyrt3p55fb_178841757.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Bumped into a female friend some time ago and as we were walking down the road, she looked at me and said "You know, you look really intimidating at times". I did not know how to react, I think I just fed her some psycho-waffle about body language, but I thought about that recently and looked at pictures of me, and I think that both body wise and face wise, I do kind of look intimidating when I am not smiling (and it's worth noting that I smile a lot more nowadays) So guys, are you aware of how you come across in your manner when you approach a woman or speaking to her? And ladies, how often have you met a man that appeared physically intimidating in some way? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Posted some pics to illustrate point, and also for faux vanity reasons lol http://1.2.3.9/bmi/www.raskilrecords.com/images/stories/sion%201.jpg http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/83/cde9c6ea9d42f9923971ef4612127346/l.jpg http://pics.pof.com/dating/98/70/cyrt3p55fb_178841757.jpg the best thing to do is try hard to keep a neutral face if it isn't natural for you to do so when speaking with the opposite sex. just make conscience effort so the other person doesn't think you're angry or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 the best thing to do is try hard to keep a neutral face if it isn't natural for you to do so when speaking with the opposite sex. just make conscience effort so the other person doesn't think you're angry or something. I agree, I try to smile more nowadays, but not too much so I don't just look silly smiling all the time. I actually think my eyebrows make me look angry. I have strong eyes anyway, so the eyebrows just make me look like I've just killed 30 people . It's more my body language when I am going down the street though. Everyone says I look like I should be in an action movie, it's not quite the suave look I have always wanted but it's a start Link to post Share on other sites
HughHardcastle Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Hey, maybe that's been my problem all along, women are just intimidated by me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Hey, maybe that's been my problem all along, women are just intimidated by me! Well, how tall are you? I happen to be about 6 foot 3 and weigh quite a bit (around 200lbs) Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I can't see the first link. Your facial expression in the second one is normal. The last one doesn't tell me anything. It's not physical stature so much that can be intimidating as your facial expression and body language. A ginormous linebacker can look approachable and as gentle as a teddy bear if his chest is out and he's smiling and laughing, and a little tiny guy can look intimidating if he's hunkered over with his shoulders forward and furrowing his brow and looks angry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 I can't see the first link. Your facial expression in the second one is normal. The last one doesn't tell me anything. It's not physical stature so much that can be intimidating as your facial expression and body language. A ginormous linebacker can look approachable and as gentle as a teddy bear if his chest is out and he's smiling and laughing, and a little tiny guy can look intimidating if he's hunkered over with his shoulders forward and furrowing his brow and looks angry. 1st link works for me, it is basically me standing upright with sun in my eyes . I understand you perfectly though, body language is certainly key. I have been doing a lot to improve that as I had a pinched nerve last year from sitting in front of the computer solidly for 6 months and completely messed up my posture, which due to dyspraxia wasn't great anyway. Taught me a lesson, now I always have breaks and always go out now. Practiced standing up straight, did stretches and lightly worked out. Next step is total fitness and martial arts for next couple of years. I can always tell now, whereas I couldn't before, when someone is guarded and awkward, and I can tell you, it actually can make you wary of somebody, it's really fascinating Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 1st link works for me, it is basically me standing upright with sun in my eyes . I understand you perfectly though, body language is certainly key. I have been doing a lot to improve that as I had a pinched nerve last year from sitting in front of the computer solidly for 6 months and completely messed up my posture, which due to dyspraxia wasn't great anyway. Taught me a lesson, now I always have breaks and always go out now. Practiced standing up straight, did stretches and lightly worked out. Next step is total fitness and martial arts for next couple of years. I can always tell now, whereas I couldn't before, when someone is guarded and awkward, and I can tell you, it actually can make you wary of somebody, it's really fascinating Just smile more. Works wonders. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Well, how tall are you? I happen to be about 6 foot 3 and weigh quite a bit (around 200lbs) I know this is going to sound horribly racist, ThaWholigan, you're a big black man. I don't how things are in the UK, but in the US, that's enough reason for just about everybody to be intimidated by you. Your race being the primary reason. Once again, I don't know how your ethnicity if viewed where you live but in the US and especially in the city I live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 I know this is going to sound horribly racist, ThaWholigan, you're a big black man. I don't how things are in the UK, but in the US, that's enough reason for just about everybody to be intimidated by you. Your race being the primary reason. Once again, I don't know how your ethnicity if viewed where you live but in the US and especially in the city I live in. I agree. It does sound horribly racist No offense taken lol. I don't think that people of other races are intimidated by my bulky blackness, at least economically speaking anyway. They're safe with the knowledge that the police will be on our case in any event pretty swiftly (Mark Duggan, anyone??). Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 LOL, I'm glad you're cool with it. It's definitely a culture thing. Over here, African Americans as they are called, are not seen that positively. I won't say any more as it might get a racist thing going and it's not even relevent to your situation. Jolly good show and all that Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Over here, African Americans as they are called, are not seen that positively. I won't say any more as it might get a racist thing going and it's not even relevent to your situation. "...as they are called." I call black people black, and white people white. I do not call black people African-American, and I do not call white people European-American, and I do not call Asian people Asian-American. I am more fearful of Russians than I am big bad black men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 LOL, I'm glad you're cool with it. It's definitely a culture thing. Over here, African Americans as they are called, are not seen that positively. I won't say any more as it might get a racist thing going and it's not even relevent to your situation. Jolly good show and all that Well, I think it's a socioeconomic, political and cultural issue more than anything, rather than what everyone else thinks of us. Which means we don't do ourselves any favors really. I come from a very pro-black family, so I do have strong views about that, but I am not one for subscribing to blame culture. Black Britain hasn't been a picnic either if I'm honest, there was the Brixton Riots in the 80s, my grandfather was the first man in Britain to be arrested under the race relations act in the 60s and now due to poverty in certain communities in London, a lot of black youth have been killing each other needlessly, some of the kids my little brother knows, which is heartbreaking. Not much different from US, not that much. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 yea it's certainly a demeanour thing. rather than goin about feeling stressed out all the time, try walking around thinking of puppies and unicorns, and smile. (unless of course your family was murdered by a mafia of puppies and unicorns- then i apologise) Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I've been criticized at work for looking menacing but only by males who had power over me and were trying to find some fault to keep me down. Women on the other hand seem to not see me as intimidating. Even though I can look intense and even "fierce" according to these former male managers, my manner quickly seems to make the ladies feel unthreatened and perhaps even safe. When I do my job, I mean businesses but I know I cant motivate anyone with terror. Link to post Share on other sites
nessaaa Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 i dont find you intimidating what so ever. you actually look friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 You do not look scary at all . I know how to defend myself Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Slim Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I can relate... I've been told the same, I'm unapproachable, intimidating. I'm tall and have dark features and don't walk around smiling for no reason. And while I'm sure there's a lot of bad that goes with it, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up the good. Namely, that no one messes with you. Just today a vagrant-type was at the gas station trying to bum from every one who went inside on the way in AND out. He took one look at me and didn't say a word. Same thing at work. People don't waste my time or bother me unless they absolutely have to. The most hated managers, who terrorize fellow coworkers and abuse their power, tread very carefully around me. And this is with me being perfectly polite to everyone. Its really a remarkable phenomenon. Sure it'll prevent a hot woman from randomly asking me out, but since when do they do that anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I get the same thing but as in I've been told I might be conceited or uninviting, like I'm not in a friendly mood. It's just kind of how I generally look as I guess I am a focused person and sometimes I get a little anxiety in situations where I don't feel comfortable so I kinda freeze up to a degree even though most people assume I am just being normal. This breaks however as soon as people talk to me as my whole demeanor changes and my facial expression then they see how sociable and easy to talk to that I am without any kind of an attitude. However sometimes people are initially afraid to approach or engage in conversation even if they see me interacting with other people but they figure I might be mean to them or something so I try to look more approachable and smile more often and change my posture when neutral. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Thanks for the replies everyone, much appreciated. I just think that it is a body language issue, I think that when I am walking particularly. I have to find a more smooth walk and smile a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 "...as they are called." I call black people black, and white people white. I do not call black people African-American, and I do not call white people European-American, and I do not call Asian people Asian-American. I am more fearful of Russians than I am big bad black men. I call them colored people. Bumped into a female friend some time ago and as we were walking down the road, she looked at me and said "You know, you look really intimidating at times". I did not know how to react, I think I just fed her some psycho-waffle about body language, but I thought about that recently and looked at pictures of me, and I think that both body wise and face wise, I do kind of look intimidating when I am not smiling (and it's worth noting that I smile a lot more nowadays) So guys, are you aware of how you come across in your manner when you approach a woman or speaking to her? And ladies, how often have you met a man that appeared physically intimidating in some way? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Posted some pics to illustrate point, and also for faux vanity reasons lol http://1.2.3.9/bmi/www.raskilrecords.com/images/stories/sion%201.jpg http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/83/cde9c6ea9d42f9923971ef4612127346/l.jpg http://pics.pof.com/dating/98/70/cyrt3p55fb_178841757.jpg Why is it that with out trying I know what 99.99% of the guys who post here look like but about 50% of the women here think its a state held secret...? I didn't look at your pictures but I've seen you in the avatar before you're not intimidating. Being intimidating as a man is a good thing. Strong silent type. You're not looking for women to approach you any ways. Better to approach them. Also best to intimidate other guys from even bothering you. i dont find you intimidating what so ever. you actually look friendly. watch this one shes just trying to butter you up. She's the devil! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 I call them colored people. Why is it that with out trying I know what 99.99% of the guys who post here look like but about 50% of the women here think its a state held secret...? I didn't look at your pictures but I've seen you in the avatar before you're not intimidating. Being intimidating as a man is a good thing. Strong silent type. You're not looking for women to approach you any ways. Better to approach them. Also best to intimidate other guys from even bothering you. watch this one shes just trying to butter you up. She's the devil! That's the thing, I personally don't think I look intimidating either . I just happen to be quite large in size. Guys tend not to bother me anyway though, I've had one fight in last 10 years (I won ). I've never been worried about that, was just weird to hear someone say that to me. LOL @ bolded, I'll keep that in mind Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 That's the thing, I personally don't think I look intimidating either . I just happen to be quite large in size. Guys tend not to bother me anyway though, I've had one fight in last 10 years (I won ). Whats your walk like? I have had several female co-workers tell me I walk like Jason Stathem in this video clip, when I'm pissed because someone screwed something up. I don't know if I walk exactly like that, but I have noticed people generally give me a wide berth when they think I'm annoyed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThaWholigan Posted January 23, 2012 Author Share Posted January 23, 2012 Whats your walk like? I have had several female co-workers tell me I walk like Jason Stathem in this video clip, when I'm pissed because someone screwed something up. I don't know if I walk exactly like that, but I have noticed people generally give me a wide berth when they think I'm annoyed. Yeah, sometimes I get the "wide berth" thing, especially at night time. I got compared to Vin Diesel in A Man Apart, especially with the poster for the movie has him mid-walk with a combat 24 guage shotgun, and everyone says that is how I look when I'm walking down the street. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 she looked at me and said "You know, you look really intimidating at times". Is she hot for you? The first link didn't open and the third one doesn't show your face. I don't think you look intimidating in the second one, you're kinda on the edge between tough and nice. Anyone who doesn't smile looks intimidating. So, yes, smile a lot if you approach a woman. I have a co-worker who smiles all the time and he is very positive and peaceful about everything. I so love being around him, I never get any work done when we work in the same office. He is a very young Black gentleman and I think being Black has something to do with the warmth & charm. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing Blacks smiling and laughing - white or Asian people can't even compare to that. So guys, are you aware of how you come across in your manner when you approach a woman or speaking to her? I'm a woman, but I am always surprised about how I come across, when people tell me. My first husband told me I looked innocent and meek - I was like "huh?!?!" A colleague of mine told me I came across as very confident and I was again like "huh?!?!?" Funny thing, when I was in my 20s, many, many people told me that they knew I would succeed in life. Inside I felt like a little mouse so i didn't know where they were coming from. It turned out, I did achieve everything I wanted in life thus far. And I'm still not happy! Anyhoo, my point is: DO ask people what they see in you because sometimes they intuitively sense something about you that's there, and you can't see it because your core self is piled up with problems, dilemmas and little everyday crap that distracts you from your life mission. If everyone tells you you look intimidating, maybe it's time for you to use it to your advantage! And ladies, how often have you met a man that appeared physically intimidating in some way? Rarely. Link to post Share on other sites
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