When is a coworking situation gone to far...wheres the limits??

[shakesgurl]

hi...im in need of advice about my boyfriends co -worker...Shes a 22 yr old beautiful woman and he talks about her alot...they have worked together for 8 months and now the relationship seems to be gettin personal...he says i have nothin to worry about but i cant ignore how much he brings her up...now he wants me to meet her...he knows how uncomfortable i am about all this...he refers to her as his "cousin"I know he dont tell me everything they talk about cos he knows how ill react...but he assures me over and over again that im over racting but when i get a bit sarcastic about her he gets defensive...he says he spends 10 hrs a day there and hes merly tellin me about his day etc etc...i think hes very attracted to her and desoite my doubts i dont really see him backin away from it either or tryin to make the situation less personal with her...HELP ME...What should i do...and am i crazy for thinkin therres more to this???btw...hes 32 im 33...

[moimeme]

Whether or not he intends to, he can easily fall for this person. Plenty of people have started what they thought would be innocent 'friendships' with people at work only to fall for them. If he really means to be faithful to you, he should not become close friends with other women. It's one thing to be pals - but if they are involved enough that he talks about her a lot, you're right to worry.

[shakesgurl]

You know...ive said to him the same thing uve told me..but because hes been cheated on several times in the past,he says this is why he would never do it...but hes so fond of her....why would he do this and say these things rite in front of me...At times i think hes in denial...but i think he honestly cares for her and i dont know what to do or how to stop it....cos he tellin me what they talk about..im sure not eveything...if i bring it up he gets irratated cos he keeps goin out of his way to reassure me....and ur rite....why is he still tryin to be all buddy buddy with her...he told me that he wants to have a happy work environment...but i think hes makin excuses cos he dont about the other co-workers like that...and of course he says cos they arent around like she is....and latley hes been extra affectionate with me...but in tyhe last couple of months...he hasnt been as much cos of personal problems in his life....but i do believe that he was torn about his feelings cos he knows deep down that he has feelings for her...My friends say not to worry cos he has made long term plans with me and our children etc etc...i believe he loves me but im a fraid hes in love with her....now im at a point where i think i should just let hikm go so he dont have to twist anymore.....she apparently makes him happy...

[sweetmind20]

shakesgurl,

 

you know, i am in a similar situation as you. how have things gone since your last post? for me, i'm worried my guy is falling for his coworker because he brings her up way too much. the thing is, if she wasn't important and on his mind a lot , why would he be talking about her so much? that makes me wonder.. my response to my bf's actions have been just about the same as yours.

perhaps you should meet her and see if there are any "vibes". you say that she is a beautiful woman.. how do you know? did your bf tell you this? if he is trying to keep this professional like he says he is, he doens't need to bring up things about her looks.. that's tacky and disrespectful to you.

best of luck. keep me posted on what is happening.

 

 

*sweet*

[trying2bhappy]

i to have a similar situation. he is 33 we've been married for 9 years and we were separated 6 mos. never agreed to see others romantically. we have 3 small children. while i was gone he was going out with these 22 and 26 (engaged, has a house etc.. with fiancee he went out too) yr olds and an 40 yr old (married her husband never goes out with them, i've never seen him) woman from work for drinks etc.. they drink alot my husband never drank to excess like these girls do. well, we all went out and he was worried about them and was rubbing their necks and they flirted and pinched him. i got upset needless to say we had a nasty fight after. i was upset that he acted like this he was by no means a flirt before. i was mad that he allowed them to grab him and make sexual comments to him. he acted like there was nothing wrong with it. he made me think he was willing to give up his family to party with these people he's known for 4-5 months? omg!!!...you would think he's known them forever and they were best buddies before we got married! we all went out again since and he didn't touch them and they didn't touch him. it might have been for my benefit but, i don't care. i explained to him i was originally upset because he put himself in the situation that allowed these women to think it was OK to touch him like that. that's what made me mad. i also got mad because he didn't see the problem. i think it boosted his ego for them to use him as the token guy at work, but, he didn't realize that is what it is. a token guy is just that. i think he thought and maybe still does that they like him..or he has a chance and maybe he does.. since going out again i don't think so. he's overweight and these are skinny young girls who work out. once i got my jealous jabs at them in check he quit bringing up things i think it fed his ego more to see i was jealous. i still am but, try to not voice it. what i'm saying is the last time we went out there were no vibes. he might think the 26 yr old is hot but, she's getting married to a 31 yr old hottie. so, i'd say he has no chance. i also got him a new wedding band, he tends to complain about it but, i don't care if they see this new bling on him once they'll think something new is up with us.