delux Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Hi guys, excuse me for my English long story short - we separated 8 months ago and we are 6-7 months NC (after she got in relationship with another guy). Her bf wrote a msg in facebook (she unblocked me after few months NC) to inform me that they both (my ex and her bf) have STD (sexual transmitted disease). In the message he wrote that his ex gf (very young) and I - are the only transmitters for the disease. Basically they blame me for giving them STD. So I went and got myself tested and all the tests are negative. I got tested in the same hospital for the same STD which they were tested positive (with few more test negative for me too). Now, should I answer him or her or should I answer them at all? Frankly, I don't want to do it, cause I don't want to get involved corresponding with them at all, I don't care about them and I don't want them to care about me. BUT this new guy is in the same business as me and I don't want to have rumors about me and STD going around my friends and colleges. What would you suggest? Thank you in advance! Best wishes to all of you! Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Hahahahahaha So they have STDs now and your perfectly clean? Nice! Tell them and kindly leave let them wallow in thier stds lol Sorry. Thats sucks for them. Your clean, just move on and be happy your healthy! Phew! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Wow, you're such a nice and responsible person.First of all, forgetting tested immediately and second of all, for not rubbing it in their faces "Thanks for informing me you have an STD and I don't!" I would respond to whoever wrote the message to you: "I am writing to inform you that I got tested and the test came out negative. Best wishes." Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ouchie, what a fun one here. While I usually would just ignore any sort of message that has a tone such as this; I'd have to respond here. You got tested and you are clean. The last thing I'd want is for this to continue to be spread around that I have some disease. I'd even be kind enough to send an image of the negative test result. This might cause friction in their relationship as one of them either had it going into things, or got it by stepping outside of the relationship. But too bad, no need to soil my name because neither of them want to take responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delux Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 Thanks for the replies, it was huge relief for me when the negative tests came out and I was just happy that I'm clean. Now you all suggest to inform them (which probably will cause friction in their relationship, but i guess they can't blame me or Philosoraptor ) But maybe I should add a photo of the actual test, as a proof... I don't know, it looks like I think too much about it, but on the other hand - std is serious stuff and deserves attention, right? Even when it's related to old relationship... My fear is that my actions or words can be seen as some kind of manipulation or attempt to sabotage their relationship, which I don't want to do... I used to feel guilty for a lot of stuff when I was with my ex and I guess I want some support here that I shouldn't feel guilty that I'm clean in this case... Have a nice day to all! Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Thanks for the replies, My fear is that my actions or words can be seen as some kind of manipulation or attempt to sabotage their relationship, which I don't want to do... I used to feel guilty for a lot of stuff when I was with my ex and I guess I want some support here that I shouldn't feel guilty that I'm clean in this case... Well, you're not the one who opened this can of worms. Clearly someone is lying to someone, but that person is not you. By replying and possibly sending a copy of your test results, you're simply a man clearing his name after a false allegation was made against you. You have every right to do that. If it all hits the fan for them, then that's the bed they made for themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 (edited) I assume we are talking about HIV since you mentioned several tests and that's practically the only STD where negative tests are repeated several times over a period of several months. Just so you know, if there is any chance that your social or professional circle starts believing in a rumor that you have AIDS, your life is going to turn upside down. I work with people with AIDS and the discrimination and isolation are fierce. People don't understand that they are not in danger of HIV positive folks just by socializing with them or even hugging them. So, you might want to send a copy of your test results to your ex and her guy just to prevent such rumors. On the other hand, you should keep it a secret (about their STD status) now that you know it - regardless of which STD it is. You're not legally obligated to keep it a secret, but pouring salt onto their wounds brings bad karma. Edited January 26, 2012 by RecordProducer Link to post Share on other sites
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