I'm flabby and not athletic, 99 percent of women will not like me?

[quietGuy13]

I'm skinny naturally but i also have flab around my waste because i am full of injuries and i can't walk much so i have flabbed.. Before i used to be athletic.

 

I do what i can, little exercise however i can but now it's not enough. it's not the same as i used to do before.

 

But does this make me unattractive ? And some men make up by having great personality. but i dont. i'm quiet and not a good speaker

[Anela]

So buy a balance ball to sit on (I've heard that helps with the waistline, and keep forgetting to get mine out of the basement), and join Toastmasters. There are two ideas.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your injuries, but that's the type of thing I was referring to in your other thread.

[dreamingoftigers]

Ha ha ha. I am the 1%. I love guys with flab.

[Feelin Frisky]

1% is a lot of women. Just worry about one at a time and do your best. Someone might like you beside your shortfalls.

[Anela]

Oh, I meant to add that it doesn't make you unattractive to everyone. My suggestions were for if you wanted to change those things, but you shouldn't *have* to - anyone who would really, sincerely love *you* as a person, would love you as you are.

[Sivok]

Quietguy,

 

In your post, one thing shot at me right away. All you are doing is writing to us every single negative trait you can think of. "Flabby, not in good shape, I don't talk, don't have a personality, etc". As long as your self-perception is negative, women will never find you attractive - no matter how 'good' you look.

 

List down the positives in your life you pride yourself on. If you don't have any, then make a list of things you've always wanted to accomplish and start attempting to make that happen. Don't say 'im too old, it's too late, it's too much effort, etc'. Prove to yourself how bad you want it, otherwise you're proving that you want to drown in self pity more than you want to become a confident, attractive guy.

 

These may sound like big words, but let me show you something. I suffered from social anxiety myself for most of my entire life. When I finally got out of it, I felt on top of the world. At the time, I was extremely out of shape but you want to know something funny? I was so confident and happy about myself regardless, that I dated the hottest women in my life regardless of how out of shape I was. Don't believe me?

 

Here's me when I was heavy and just conquered SA:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/Sivok/summer09.jpg

 

Here's me a few months later with my hot new girlfriend:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/17569_714347165409_3032600_n.jpg

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/17569_714347040659_1817788_42182183_7061939_n.jpg

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/17569_714347055629_1817788_42182186_2532322_n.jpg

 

Start changing your perception on women and attraction. Don't keep wishing for things you don't have - you might as well wish you can breathe underwater or fly like a bird can. Make realistic goals and work HARD for them. Nothing is impossible, and I learned that the hard way

[RecordProducer]

Here's me when I was heavy and just conquered SA:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/Sivok/summer09.jpg

 

Here's me a few months later with my hot new girlfriend:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/17569_714347165409_3032600_n.jpg

Your body looks fine on that first pic and the little bit of fat on your belly is kinda well spread and sexy. Your GF is indeed hot - hotter than you! (which is how it should be )

[Sivok]

that's exactly my point. Focus on being a 'man' - work hard, be true to your word, and be a leader of men. Focusing on vanity wont get you anywhere near the progress you expect with women

 

EDIT: On the note of getting in shape, you need to do it for you - not for the viewing of others. I tried that as motivation and trust me, looking in the mirror everyday and constantly telling yourself 'im too ugly/out of shape to get women' is going to demotivate you fast. It takes a long ass time of extremely hard work to get an amazing body - why else do you think people are so impressed by it?

 

For me, I always wanted to compete in Taekwondo. I wanted my black belt and then more. I knew I couldn't possibly perform at the level I wanted to in the shape I was in, so I broke down my ultimate goal of 'getting in perfect athletic shape' to daily goals. I weigh myself each morning, strictly control what i eat, and make sure I put my time in the gym - each and every day. I just try to set goals like 'ill run a half mile longer, ill bike at a higher resistance for 10 minutes, I want to bench 5 more pounds in a week or two'. You need to focus on perfectly placing each and every brick if you want to build that majestic wall. Stay focused on the present and it'll come. Check out my workout thread for an idea of what i did. With hard work, here is me now:

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/395896_10100350863528489_1817788_49180103_557943446_n.jpg

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/Sivok/january_2012.jpg

 

I'm in no means done building that wall, but you'll be damned to find me giving up at this point. There is absolutely no reason you can't do the same

Edited January 28, 2012 by Sivok

[tman666]

that's exactly my point. Focus on being a 'man' - work hard, be true to your word, and be a leader of men. Focusing on vanity wont get you anywhere near the progress you expect with women

 

EDIT: On the note of getting in shape, you need to do it for you - not for the viewing of others. I tried that as motivation and trust me, looking in the mirror everyday and constantly telling yourself 'im too ugly/out of shape to get women' is going to demotivate you fast. It takes a long ass time of extremely hard work to get an amazing body - why else do you think people are so impressed by it?

 

For me, I always wanted to compete in Taekwondo. I wanted my black belt and then more. I knew I couldn't possibly perform at the level I wanted to in the shape I was in, so I broke down my ultimate goal of 'getting in perfect athletic shape' to daily goals. I weigh myself each morning, strictly control what i eat, and make sure I put my time in the gym - each and every day. I just try to set goals like 'ill run a half mile longer, ill bike at a higher resistance for 10 minutes, I want to bench 5 more pounds in a week or two'. You need to focus on perfectly placing each and every brick if you want to build that majestic wall. Stay focused on the present and it'll come. Check out my workout thread for an idea of what i did. With hard work, here is me now:

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/395896_10100350863528489_1817788_49180103_557943446_n.jpg

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/Sivok/january_2012.jpg

 

I'm in no means done building that wall, but you'll be damned to find me giving up at this point. There is absolutely no reason you can't do the same

 

Great post, Sivok. I endorse this kind of attitude wholeheartedly.

 

OP, comparing yourself to others can be counterproductive. Learn to be comfortable improving yourself in the context of your own genes. Work around your limitations, and focus on improving your weak points.

[Dust]

More pics of your hot gf please Sivok!

 

The only reason to work out is to feel good. I like being strong and feeling kick ass. Looking good to women is just a bonus.

 

I know the truth about attracting women. It's about making them feel enjoyed. Great lovers know how to play a woman like a rare instrument and make great music with her. It's not about a woman looking at you and thinking you're hot... It's about making her feel hot and enjoying her in all her dimensions.

[Sivok]

In terms of motivation to get fit , I always refer back to a few quotes/images in times of lethargy. This one in particular hits home for me:

 

http://i.imgur.com/1MyCk.jpg