Do you hate your husband?

[ladydesigner]

Not really. I want so much to believe that true love and happy marriages are possible in this day and age but I see no evidence that they are.

 

True love should be directed towards yourself Woggle then it won't matter what anyone else's love for you might be. I think where marriages go wrong is when the person depends on the other to feel loved.

 

I for one do not believe in "true love" but a marriage can be happy, of course there will be times that it is challenged, but that is every marriage. IDK just my .02:)

[dreamingoftigers]

After reading some of the comments on this and Daily Mail I am truly convinced that most women are simply incapable of being happy in a relationship with a man. They always do something to mess it up. Men and women should just live separate and have sex sometimes.

 

I see your point entirely because some women think Tom Cruise is the ultimate good -looking man, that we all do. It is impossible to think otherwise, especially when you read some of those comments after his clips on YouTube.

 

The rest of us are just lying or not admitting it to ourselves.

 

In fact, that is why we all hate our husbands, because we can't all have Tom Cruise. Of you aren't Tom Cruise, you just don't make the cut.

 

Oh, that ranting, couch-jumping weirdo, be still my heart!

 

(actually I find him icky)

[Negative Nancy]

Not really. I want so much to believe that true love and happy marriages are possible in this day and age but I see no evidence that they are.

 

YOUR OWN MARRIAGE IS EVIDENCE! And that's all the evidence you need.

[RecordProducer]

Sometimes I wonder why I ever got married. You are a newlywed right now but if you still feel this way ten years from now I will give you credit. Most married women do not feel the way you do.

 

Not really. I want so much to believe that true love and happy marriages are possible in this day and age but I see no evidence that they are.

Wog, what happened? Share it with us, we'll listen. All marriages have problems and sometimes, the more people love each other the more problems they have. Everything will be alright, but you have to work through the disagreement/disappointment with a conscious effort to find a mutually acceptable solution. So, what's bothering you?

[Woggle]

Nothing specific happened but every day I see and hear misandrist stuff and it just grinds me down. Why should I make an effort to be more positive towards women when it is clear many of them hate my guys because I have a penis. I can understand want to be respected and not hated but isn't only fair that they return the favor to men? Isn't respect a two way street?

 

I would sell my soul in order to be proven wrong. Believe me I will.

[Mme. Chaucer]

After reading some of the comments on this and Daily Mail I am truly convinced that most women are simply incapable of being happy in a relationship with a man. They always do something to mess it up. Men and women should just live separate and have sex sometimes.

 

Have you moved out of your house yet? Did you tell your wife that you know she hates you because of an article you read in a tabloid, and an article you MISREAD in the Huffington Post?

 

It's amazing that you let such things run your marriage. I'm pretty sorry for you, but terribly sorry for your wife.

 

Now, kindly excuse me while I go prepare some meatloaf laced with splintered glass for my annoying husband.

[Woggle]

Have you moved out of your house yet? Did you tell your wife that you know she hates you because of an article you read in a tabloid, and an article you MISREAD in the Huffington Post?

 

It's amazing that you let such things run your marriage. I'm pretty sorry for you, but terribly sorry for your wife.

 

Now, kindly excuse me while I go prepare some meatloaf laced with splintered glass for my annoying husband.

 

You claim to love your husband yet you put glass in his food. This just proves my point.

[Mme. Chaucer]

You claim to love your husband yet you put glass in his food. This just proves my point.

 

 

 

I'm gonna put a bunch of laxatives in it, too. Just because he has a penis.

[dreamingoftigers]

Jeez, go and do it then.

 

Here's a little evidence for you: I have been put through Hell by my H. I still don't hate him.

 

A small shred in the larger picture.

 

No one is going to be able to fill this hole for you, if you don't have a leap of faith you are going to end up living your life feeling resent, anxiety or rage every time you encounter one out of every two people.

 

A weird testimony about the goodness of humanity:

 

I have had the experience of flying signs for a living (panhandling in traffic). One would suspect that maybe one out of five people would hurl abuse at you, maybe close to 80% ignore you and maybe a few people a day will give to you.

 

The truth is the opposite. About 10-20% of people give something. There are a lot of apologies if people "don't have any cash on them." or they have a bit of change and apologize for not giving more. On a rough, rough day: 2 or 3 people might say something insulting: mostly chickens who yell "get a job" as they speed away.

 

A lot of panhandlers make up bull**** sob stories about rampant brutal abuse. And it does happen, but nowhere near as often as they make out.

 

Most days are abuse-free. Actually the cops in Canada are more abusive then most of the regular folk. In the States they are actually very, very friendly overall, if they bother you at all.

 

My point with this: my father raised me with a very nasty, skeptical view of the world where "if you don't get them, they will get you." "The world is a very unsaved place where it is really easy to get yourself injured or killed just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there are MILLIONS OF WRONG PLACES AND WRONG TIMES IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD EVERYDAY.

 

It's not that messed up. The world in general still has it's messed up portions, and it's messed up people. Overall though, most people are just living life, wanting love and trying to pay the bills. Most of them aren't focusing enough on everyone around them to notice them, much less develop a true hate for them. I have seen enough fairly genuine people and enough fairly screwed up and manipulative to see that it is highly unlikely that 50% of the population has developed a strong disgust for their mates and absolutely revile them.

 

I have also had the pleasure of watching couples in their own homes interacting when H and I ran our cleaning service together. You can clearly tell the more stable couple just from glimpses of their interactions. The ones that were more 'open' to their mates seemed much happier. Perhaps reviewing some Gottman might help you fine-tune.

 

You are really short-changing your wife by not being open with her.

 

My husband lead a double life. His behaviour was different but he does have a whole other life and set of ideas that I had no clue about.

 

You can keep your thoughts and feelings in a dark closet, but it affects both you and your wife.

[dreamingoftigers]

Jeez, go and do it then.

.

 

I meant that in response to Woggle "selling his soul."

 

Must remember to quote things that I have snarky responses to.

[bentnotbroken]

Some people have a goal in life to die angry and alone. Sometimes we kill whatever love there is out there for us because we choose not to be strong enough to accept it. And it is easier to slide farther into a deep dark stank hole than to claw tooth and nail to climb out of it.

[RecordProducer]

Nothing specific happened but every day I see and hear misandrist stuff and it just grinds me down.

You hear this from your wife? Because if you hear it from people other than your wife, who cares! How's your marriage going?

 

Why would you be so obsessed, why would you even think about other men and women? Can'tyou understand already that there are bad menand bad women and good men and good women - but all that should concern you is your own marriage!

 

Why should I make an effort to be more positive towards women when it is clear many of them hate my guys because I have a penis.

Like who? Give me examples. Give me ten recent examples of how women hate men - and please don't use articles, blogs and internet posts. Tell me of examples that you have personally experienced. Let's seehow many women hate YOU.

 

Can't you see that it's YOU whom always hates women - not vice versa.

I would sell my soul in order to be proven wrong.

I'm afraid to tell you, Wog, but you don't have one...

[Woggle]

I know my mother hates men.

 

The women my ex knew who cheered her on while she cheated

 

The women I worked with who were proud of he fact that they were cheaters

 

I can name some more.

[RecordProducer]

I know my mother hates men.

 

The women my ex knew who cheered her on while she cheated

 

The women I worked with who were proud of he fact that they were cheaters

 

I can name some more.

Maybe because those men treated them badly? Your ex cheated, didn't she? Was he man nice to her?

[betterdeal]

Never, ever, rely on the Daily Wail for your information. It's the paper that had "Hurrah for the Blackshirts" as a headline, extolling the virtues of the Nazi-aligned British Fascist Party in the 1930s.

 

More recently, it simultaneously ran a campaign against combined MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) inoculations in its UK edition and a campaign for combined MMR inoculations in its Irish edition.

 

Have you noticed how it runs stories about how women have it hard or are harassed / assaulted / abused / objectified and has a column of pictures of pretty women down the side of the page?

 

It is, always has been, a rag based on fear. It is nonsensical. And, bizarrely, most of its readership have long term marriages that tick all the boxes but they are so BORED living a loveless life they read the Wail to make themselves feel better by assuring themselves that the dull lives they lead are much better than the alternative. But it just feeds inaction and suspicion and all their insecurities.

 

If the UK was anything like the Daily Wail portrays it, we'd all be being raped by rabies-infected Latvian sex trafficking pitbulls each time we walk down our garden paths.

[betterdeal]

I know my mother hates men.

 

The women my ex knew who cheered her on while she cheated

 

The women I worked with who were proud of he fact that they were cheaters

 

I can name some more.

 

My mother loves men, and yet she was raped at 14 by a young soldier my grandfather put in her room. She doesn't even hate my grandfather.

[RecordProducer]

My mother loves men, and yet she was raped at 14 by a young soldier my grandfather put in her room. She doesn't even hate my grandfather.

Wow, that's horrible.

 

Woggle, what about men who cheat? What about men who hate women?

Did you ever seek counseling regarding your aversion to the female gender?

[Els]

I know my mother hates men.

 

The women my ex knew who cheered her on while she cheated

 

The women I worked with who were proud of he fact that they were cheaters

 

I can name some more.

 

I really pity your wife. You can't name a single damned thing she did wrong but you're going all negative nancy on your marriage just because of some things OTHER women did wrong. Really, I hope she divorces you because her brother-in-law cheated on her sister, ergo all men must be horrible people.

[soserious1]

I know my mother hates men.

 

The women my ex knew who cheered her on while she cheated

 

The women I worked with who were proud of he fact that they were cheaters

 

I can name some more.

 

Then hate the specific women who've wronged you! You are making a career out of looking for evidence that all women hate all men. I don't understand your reason for posting the things that you do, what reaction are you hoping for from all of us?

 

I hate my ex-husband for how he treated me but as time passes that hatred is diminishing as I come to realize that the person I should be hating is myself for being stupid enough to marry him. I've come to understand that I really dislike committed relationships & marriage, that I strongly resent all the sacrifices required by them & that I dislike having to give up any of my freedoms just to say I have a man in my life. I don't want to share or be loving, giving & nurturing, I don't want to care take or provide fiscal support, I don't want to be sexually faithful.. all this means is that relationships are a very poor choice for me, not that all men are bad & should be hated.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Our response to Woggle is hilarious, ladies.

 

Imagine if a white person who had been harmed at the hands of 2 black people, and heard about other nasty black people, came on a forum populated by lots of black people and posted over, and over, and over again about how inherently evil and hateful black people were, claiming that every portrayal of a black person in the media who did something wrong further proved his point about the disgusting nature of black people, and proudly announcing his membership in the KKK …

 

and all the black people on the forum reacted by petting him and giving him examples of nice black people, and citing incidents of they themselves behaving well - trying all apologetically and with kid gloves to bring the poor bigoted white guy around.

 

We're lame, myself included.

 

Woggle, whether or not there are "misandrists" roaming the Earth has no bearing on the fact that you are a true, outspoken hateful hater of women. I am shocked that you are permitted to use LoveShack year after year as a platform for your prejudice, and even more shocked at how so many of us women, the targets of your bigotry, try to be kind to you and prove to you that you are wrong.

[johan]

I think a lot of your hypothetical black people would react the same way. It isn't wrong to be kind and to take the high road.

 

What you're doing wrong is not reading between the lines in his many posts and many identical threads. While you're doing all the work and struggling to type sense into him, he does nothing for himself. He wants you to soothe him and solve his problem, but you can't. In all the time he's been here, absolutely nothing has changed as far as this problem goes. Not because no one here has written up the magic words in the one decisive post that fixes everything. It's because Woggle does nothing.

 

It will never matter what you say. In a week he'll be back with another identical thread on the same topic, and another one the week after that. He'll do it as many times as you will. He'll only take responsibility and take action himself as a last resort.

 

For my part I can't reconcile the life he says he leads with the attitude he says he has. I don't even know how that is possible.

[dreamingoftigers]

Because this is the place where he shared and reinforces that attitude. (the reinforcing bit coming from his own loopIng arguments).

 

But really, the only reason so many people dive head-first into what they are trying to avoid is because at some point the pattern became so ingrained with their life, or they were traumatized by it.

 

Their brains then overfocus on it so much that they try to protect themselves from being "fooled" by anything else.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Johan, I know you are right.

 

I have not so much wanted to talk sense into him as I have wanted to try to connect with him … to MAKE him see that there are so many people, even right here on LS, who have been hurt and abused by others but who have not translated that into hatred of the whole population of people who share the same genitalia as the abusers. And to MAKE him understand that he has a common bond with all of these people whether they are men or women, and that he could learn how to move to a different place in life with mutual support with other people.

 

But, you can't make people do or see anything, and I know that.

 

I'm not sure why I react to Woggle's ugly misogyny so much differently than I do to the other outspoken women-hating regulars here on LS, but I have always felt that some of us were this close to achieving real communication with him. But I really think it's never been close to happening at all.

 

I share your difficulty with comprehending how a person who feels the way Woggle does, and who spends as much time feeding that negativity can even manage to make a shallow pretense of a real marriage.

[Janesays]

Personally, I don't care if Woggle hates women. His lunacy has no bearing whatsoever on my life and I find his posts comical.

[Woggle]

I have tried to find common ground with women on other boards pn other boards but most of the time the response has been and I quote "Cry me a river now you know how women feel". When I genuinely do try and move past this hatred and extend an olive branch I just get hit with more hatred. No matter what my issues I have never told a woman she deserves to be abused but it is okay for them to say that to me and I am just supposed to shrug it off and not feel any bitterness?

 

I admit this board has been supportive but when I go to other places all I get is hatred if I even suggest that all men are not these evil oppressors and there are good and bad people of both genders.