proactivedreamer Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I am just out of a 3 month relationship that ended amicably -but not mutually, and I have been doing a great deal of thinking about the reasons that brought our relationship to an end. Apparently, after much discussion with friends, I tolerate bad behavior and appear weak to men because I don't put my foot down when they do hurtful things. I was dating a guy who is somewhat younger than me, and initially I had reservations about dating him because of his age, but decided to be open to the idea because I thought he had a good character. I am not sure where to start with the details of our relationship,but here are a few things to consider: -He is a Jehovah Witness, and I am not. -We waited to have sex for at least 1 month and a half. -Lives with his father who would constantly check up on him. -We both are working college students I guess there were a few things that stood out considerably. He claimed to really believe in his religion(if any one knows about witnesses, they have a very rigid belief system), but many of the things he said and did, I felt,were contradictory to what he claimed to believe(e.g. having sex with me). He seemed to always talk how girls liked him and such, but I brushed it off as him needing an ego boost. I caught him in a lie a week prior to our break up, we talked about it, and seemed to have to a resolution because I was trying to be understanding. I mention the above because I guess these would be considered red flags, but they seemed minor to me. Am I delusional? Now, I have done a great deal of reflecting on why things have not been working out for me, but I still don't have any real clarity about what my expectations should be, and where to draw lines when it comes to relationships. I know that may seem like a silly thing to ask because I can only know what my boundaries are. I always attempt to see the other people's humanity, and understand human behavior, and this is how I approach all of my relationships. I think I am at a point in my life where I feel very confused about how to be in a relationship. What sort of woman does a man want? I have an overall idea of what sort of woman I want to be, and I believe that is the woman that I am in a relationship.I really felt that I gave all of myself. He claimed that I was the best girlfriend he has had(some of the others cheated on him and such). I am just feeling lost and confused about the break-up. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
stitch702 Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Be yourself there is no point in changing who you are, but do take note of the mistakes that both you and your partner made during the relationship so that you may know in your future relationships what to expect and what not to tolerate. Also, there is no real definition of what type of woman a man wants. So many men want different things, so it's impossible to be that perfect woman that every man desires. Eventually you will meet someone who you are more compatible with. He will accept you for who you are, just be patient. Link to post Share on other sites
BoredAgain Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 It's pretty common for young religious people to rationalize away premarital sex, even if their religion strictly forbids it. I dated a girl like that years ago, and I can honestly say that I'm now HAPPY that she dumped me. I have a feeling that you'll feel the same way pretty soon. So next time you meet somebody who disregards their "strong" religious belief whenever it becomes inconvenient, now you know to stay away. Somebody who is that comfortable living such an inconsistent life is usually no good. Link to post Share on other sites
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