Gentlegirl Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I do really appreciate those who posted to my recent question about revisiting xMM. You shared lots of great advice and insight into what might happen if I do. It seems to me that I might have been entering a new phase of recovery from the A. MY question to you was probably part of that. Now my thinking is.... wonder what I ever saw in him... would like to meet him one more time to see... that would alter nothing at all... why bother...? Maybe, just maybe I am heading towards the end of that hell I have been walking through. GG Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) With my last bf (non-A). After a year plus of attempting to get over him and having some rosy illusions about him, the last I saw him was summer 2010 when we hung out after breaking NC....and it was a relief, as all the time of NC and not seeing him left me with romanticized notions, even amidst the hurt.The last I saw him he was not as cute, charming, clever OR ANYTHING I initially felt was so special and irreplaceable. His not-so-greatness was apparent and it was like the fog cleared and he was who he was and I knew I changed! Haven't seen, spoken or been romantically interested in him since My exAP resurfaced and we tried to reestablish a friendship in November of last year. At first I remembered why I liked him...then the new, enlightened me took over as he began to show behaviors I'd formerly be flattered by, but it disgusted me! He still had a gf but was interacting with me like he did not....before, I swept it aside and attributed his brazenness and self-interest as lack of self control because of our special connection Now...upon much growth, 4 years post-A, I was fog-free and a woman with way more self worth to walk away and realize, yes he had some good qualities but not enough and the me that thought the world of him was a less-developed me. His behavior was unacceptable and what was charming before became sleazy. Now he too is completely in the past and not idealized in any way. Interacting with him again allowed me to gauge my real growth. Sometimes it's easy to feel like you are over something when it is out of sight; but you feel extra empowered when you can face your old demons/temptations and politely (or impolitely ) decline and walk away, shaking your head with a spring in your step and head held high! It's the greatest form of closure. Edited January 27, 2012 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
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