Should I keep trying?

[tlamb93]

Me and my girlfriend broke up a few weeks ago, because we're going to two colleges in different states. We still love eachother, so we decided to stay in eachothers lives as really close friends who stay sexually active. Lately it seems like we're drifting apart. I talked to her about this, and she said she felt the same way. I told her that I feel like she doesn't want to be with me anymore, and that sometimes I feel like she doesn't care about me. We then had a heart to heart and she told me she did still love me and wanted to be with me and she made me promise her that whenever I feel this way I should tell her and we can talk about it.

 

Things have changed, and it doesn't seem like she minds. We talk, flirt, and hang out a lot less. She says she still wants to be with me, but it doesn't seem like it. Like, we're in the same class in school, and we don't even talk to each other...I don't know what to do anymore. If she still loves me, she'd be still trying to talk to me and wanting to hang out all the time...Right? I almost want to remove myself from her life completely and make her realize what it would be like...Almost like "Making her miss me".

 

What should I do?

Edited January 27, 2012 by tlamb93

[KathyM]

It sounds like she is emotionally distancing herself from you to prepare herself for moving out of state. She wants to stay connected to you, but right now, she is emotionally distancing herself because she realizes that, for the next four years, her life will be over there, and she's mentally preparing herself for that. I would actually suggest you break up but remain friends. It's very hard to maintain a relationship long distance for any real length of time. That will give you both the freedom to have a nice social life while in college, and not be having to do without any kind of female companionship for the next four years. I've suggested this same thing to my own son, who was recently in your same situation--gf going off to study abroad. At that young age (I assume you are still in high school), it makes sense to have more freedom than to be commited to someone whom you can't be with. You can always get back together after the four years are up if you're both so inclined.