ditzchic Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 So we are about 7 months post break up and for the most part I am over it. I still miss him but I'm ok with us not being together. I'm moving on. We just weren't right for each other. I get that now. We've been pretty much NC since the breakup in July. In the first month post breakup I sent him a text and 2 e-mails and never got any response so I let it go. I haven't tried having any kind of contact with him since August. We remained facebook friends until the fall (I'm thinking October) when I unfriended him because he kept commenting on my statuses but was making no real effort to try and talk to me. I felt like he was poking me so I just unfriended him. I thought it would be easier for me to heal. My e-mail account was hacked in December and was sending out spam e-mails to all my contacts. He was still in my contacts so he got one and responded to it. Who the hell does that?!?! Anyway we exchanged two or three e-mails of light banter, no real conversation and then it's been nothing since then. I dunno. I want to re-friend him on facebook even though I kinda think it's a bad idea. Part of me just wants to see what he's up to. And part of me wants him to see how great I am doing right now. I really am in a much better place in life these days. I don't want him back. I know it would never work. I would just love for us to be able to see each others lives and know that we are both ok and doing well. But the logical part of me says that if I'm still thinking about it and still have him pop into my mind everyday, it's too soon. And I'm also afraid of what it will make him think. Will he think I want him back? Will I look like a less respectable woman in his eyes? Is it needy? I dunno guys. Help me out on this... Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 You know the answer to the question you ask! But since you want me to lay it out for you I will. You'll give him a big ego boost. It won't work out, and in the end you'll regret doing it. Do you want to get back togather with him. Are you going ask him out. Is your hope he'll accept the friend request then start commenting again then ask you out? What are you thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 So we are about 7 months post break up and for the most part I am over it. I still miss him but I'm ok with us not being together. I'm moving on. We just weren't right for each other. I get that now. We've been pretty much NC since the breakup in July. In the first month post breakup I sent him a text and 2 e-mails and never got any response so I let it go. I haven't tried having any kind of contact with him since August. We remained facebook friends until the fall (I'm thinking October) when I unfriended him because he kept commenting on my statuses but was making no real effort to try and talk to me. I felt like he was poking me so I just unfriended him. I thought it would be easier for me to heal. My e-mail account was hacked in December and was sending out spam e-mails to all my contacts. He was still in my contacts so he got one and responded to it. Who the hell does that?!?! Anyway we exchanged two or three e-mails of light banter, no real conversation and then it's been nothing since then. I dunno. I want to re-friend him on facebook even though I kinda think it's a bad idea. Part of me just wants to see what he's up to. And part of me wants him to see how great I am doing right now. I really am in a much better place in life these days. I don't want him back. I know it would never work. I would just love for us to be able to see each others lives and know that we are both ok and doing well. But the logical part of me says that if I'm still thinking about it and still have him pop into my mind everyday, it's too soon. And I'm also afraid of what it will make him think. Will he think I want him back? Will I look like a less respectable woman in his eyes? Is it needy? I dunno guys. Help me out on this... If you have to analyze and second guess yourself this much, I would leave well enough alone. You're curious but you know what happened to that cat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ditzchic Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 You know the answer to the question you ask! But since you want me to lay it out for you I will. You'll give him a big ego boost. It won't work out, and in the end you'll regret doing it. Do you want to get back togather with him. Are you going ask him out. Is your hope he'll accept the friend request then start commenting again then ask you out? What are you thinking? I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't want him back. I'm not going to ask him out. I don't even want to talk to him, really. I don't know. It's a bad idea. Maybe I just want to mess with his head a little bit the way he messed with mine while I was going through the pain of the break-up. I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 (edited) I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't want him back. I'm not going to ask him out. I don't even want to talk to him, really. I don't know. It's a bad idea. Maybe I just want to mess with his head a little bit the way he messed with mine while I was going through the pain of the break-up. I dunno. Why create unnecessary drama for yourself? Really. The break up is over and done with. Stop revisiting and looking for ways to regurgitate what you should have laid to rest months ago. If you're looking to stir problems or needing to fill your curiosity, then it's clear that you are not completely indifferent or emotionally healthy. Focus on getting 100% completely there. You can talk about how you don't want to talk to him or rekindle, etc. but all that means nothing. Your intent says it all. And you won't be messing with his head. He is not the one posting wanting to know if he can befriend you and analyzing it 20 different ways. Edited January 27, 2012 by geegirl Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't want him back. I'm not going to ask him out. I don't even want to talk to him, really. I don't know. It's a bad idea. Maybe I just want to mess with his head a little bit the way he messed with mine while I was going through the pain of the break-up. I dunno. I think you'll end up messing with your own head if you do this. You're breaking NC just be actualy considering this. Some times I wonder how exes I havn't seen in years look... Then I stop myself! Don't do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I think you'll feel better if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 You already know it's not going to work so why even bother? He will know that he has been on your mind and it will give him an ego boost. You have enough friends, why add the ex back? If your doing well, then great for you. You don't have to prove anything to him. Link to post Share on other sites
ilovedhim Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 If you still feel a need to let him know how you're doing your not over it yet. When you unfriended him did he ask you why? Has he tried to friend you back? Does he care about how you're doing? Nope. Stay drama free and happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 If you still feel a need to let him know how you're doing your not over it yet. When you unfriended him did he ask you why? Has he tried to friend you back? Does he care about how you're doing? Nope. Stay drama free and happy. WORD. FB is just opening a can of worms. You are just giving yourself more ways to think about him, check out what he's doing, who he's flirting with or seeing... And what if you add him back and all you see is how wonderful and amazing his life is instead of him seeing that about you? What if he doesn't accept your request? What if he does and you realise he has put you on some kind of restricted list so you are only able to see some things? What if you suddenly feel the need to post stuff you wouldn't have before just to show him what he's missing? What if he is seeing Megan Fox and there are a million photos of him and her skipping along the beach, laughing and smiling at each other, holding garlands of flowers with butterflies flying gracefully overhead ? ...WHAT THEN? It's a waste of your energy. FB is all fake anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I dunno. I want to re-friend him on facebook even though I kinda think it's a bad idea. Part of me just wants to see what he's up to. And part of me wants him to see how great I am doing right now. I really am in a much better place in life these days. I don't want him back. I know it would never work. I would just love for us to be able to see each others lives and know that we are both ok and doing well. But the logical part of me says that if I'm still thinking about it and still have him pop into my mind everyday, it's too soon. And I'm also afraid of what it will make him think. Will he think I want him back? Will I look like a less respectable woman in his eyes? Is it needy? If you still feel like the above mentioned then it is too soon. Just move on. You really can't be his friend until you can be around him and his new girlfriend and not feel anything. Link to post Share on other sites
shortee143 Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 You know, I have thought about it too. We havent been fbk friends in awhile, and despite the fact that I see my exbf several times a week (him with his gf too), I'm not fbk friends with him. I just dont wanna see anything more than neccessary. So sure I see him, and them together. but that's more than enough thank you very much! haha. Seems like the answer for you, at least right now, is prob not to add him. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I think you'll feel better if you don't. I totally agree... If you still feel a need to let him know how you're doing your not over it yet. When you unfriended him did he ask you why? Has he tried to friend you back? Does he care about how you're doing? Nope. Stay drama free and happy. I double totally agree... DC..Make choices that are healthy for you.. leave him as part of your past since he isn't part of your future.. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark Phoenix Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 So we are about 7 months post break up and for the most part I am over it. I still miss him but I'm ok with us not being together. I'm moving on. We just weren't right for each other. I get that now. We've been pretty much NC since the breakup in July. In the first month post breakup I sent him a text and 2 e-mails and never got any response so I let it go. I haven't tried having any kind of contact with him since August. We remained facebook friends until the fall (I'm thinking October) when I unfriended him because he kept commenting on my statuses but was making no real effort to try and talk to me. I felt like he was poking me so I just unfriended him. I thought it would be easier for me to heal. My e-mail account was hacked in December and was sending out spam e-mails to all my contacts. He was still in my contacts so he got one and responded to it. Who the hell does that?!?! Anyway we exchanged two or three e-mails of light banter, no real conversation and then it's been nothing since then. I dunno. I want to re-friend him on facebook even though I kinda think it's a bad idea. Part of me just wants to see what he's up to. And part of me wants him to see how great I am doing right now. I really am in a much better place in life these days. I don't want him back. I know it would never work. I would just love for us to be able to see each others lives and know that we are both ok and doing well. But the logical part of me says that if I'm still thinking about it and still have him pop into my mind everyday, it's too soon. And I'm also afraid of what it will make him think. Will he think I want him back? Will I look like a less respectable woman in his eyes? Is it needy? I dunno guys. Help me out on this... I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't want him back. I'm not going to ask him out. I don't even want to talk to him, really. I don't know. It's a bad idea. Maybe I just want to mess with his head a little bit the way he messed with mine while I was going through the pain of the break-up. I dunno. You are still chasing him. Once you learn to start being honest with yourself, then you will be able to get an honest answer from yourself without having to ask other people and justify your reasons on a web forum. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 It's funny how the mind works, isn't it? Sometimes it is sublime, subtle, clear, intricate, almost divine; other times it just lets rip an enormous brain fart. Link to post Share on other sites
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