imperfectangel Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Im not too sure where Im up to here... I havent been able to post Anyway just before Christmas (we still havent seen each other since Summer) I was talking to xMM on the phone. I was hiding in the toilets at work to speak to him - yeah I know, but it was one of those moments where common sense leaves you, anyway he wanted a more 'late at night' kibd of talk to which I decline xMM or not its really not my thing. At the end of the call he said 'i love you' I was like what?! and he said it again i told him no he didnt said bye and hung up. Since then although im trying to get over him anyway - hes hasnt really made any contact Does this mean he meant it, after all this time? We've been NC for a while now but the past few days its really been playing on my mind. I even thought maybe he'd had a DDay but he said he'd been in hospital so wont have got my texts (hadnt sent any anyway I put this down to him fishing) I feel like screaming hes wearing me out I can feel all the energy draining away from me. Also, he knows Im in his town tomorrow and I havent heard from him, so, do you think its finally over now? Interested in others opinions who know my story. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Does this mean he meant it, after all this time? Also, he knows Im in his town tomorrow and I havent heard from him, so, do you think its finally over now? Interested in others opinions who know my story.Hi Imperfectangel, Only he knows if he really loves you. He might and he might not. Would it change things for you if he means it? Even if he stays M? NC doesn't necessarily mean that it's over now, for him. The bigger question is, is it over for you? I'm hearing a lot of concern for what he might want, but what do you want? I know you asked those who know your story to respond, I hope you don't mind my input. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 (((((((hugs)))))), I think WF has asked some excellent questions. My advice would be to focus on those questions, reason being, this is less about what he wants and feels and ALL about you. I used loose myself in relationships "hoping" they would turn out the way I wanted without knowing where "I" stood...everything became dependant on what they said or thought. It's hard to say if he meant it, maybe he did, all you can do is go by what a person says, you know? Take care love! Link to post Share on other sites
Author imperfectangel Posted January 28, 2012 Author Share Posted January 28, 2012 What do I want? I want it to be over and I'm starting to think it is. I'm 27 now and this has been going on since I was 14 its a strange feeling that after all this time were over but really it was over the day he got married Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 (edited) I was talking to xMM on the phone. I was hiding in the toilets at work to speak to him - yeah I know, but it was one of those moments where common sense leaves you... If you have to hide in the washroom to talk to a guy on the phone perhaps it's a big red flag that the relationship is unhealthy. At the end of the call he said 'i love you' I was like what?! and he said it again i told him no he didnt said bye and hung up. His poor wife. He's cheating on her and professing his "love" to other women. What a great guy! But just think imperfectangel, if you were his wife he'd be cheating on you. I'm 27 now and this has been going on since I was 14 its a strange feeling that after all this time were over but really it was over the day he got married 14?!?!?! And you're now 27? My god. you've wasted so much time on this clod. Cut him out of your life, move on, let go of him... he is obviously sick-in-the-head. ETA: He's had 13 years to "prove" his love to you imperfectangel, and he hasn't.. and married someone else. Dump his a$$. Edited January 28, 2012 by YellowShark Link to post Share on other sites
Gentlegirl Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I would say that you have a really toxic relationship with this man.... 14 years of it is way too much. YOu really can block him from contacting you if you want to. I wonder why you don't. He obviously chose to marry somebody else, but likes to keep you bubbling along in the background. He's no worth a second thought no matter how long you have known him. As to you question, I think he probably phones you when he is bored or feeling the need of a little pat to reassure himself that he is still attractive. cheers, GG Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I think these guys can literally smell, when you're healing, have healed ... it's all about ego. If he loved you, he'd do what he needs to do, to keep you. Evidently, after 14 years that hasn't happened - he chose to get married. Been there, done that. I actually moved onto another relationship and when he contacted me again I told him. He literally screamed at ME over daring to move on ... they prey on vulnerability. Keep strong ... hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author imperfectangel Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you everyone I do want to move on but after so long its really hard its literally my whole adult life I don't know life without him yet Link to post Share on other sites
Gentlegirl Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you everyone I do want to move on but after so long its really hard its literally my whole adult life I don't know life without him yet I spent 3 years of my life when xMM was my primary adult relationship. We ( well I thought) very close, in contact almost 24/7, knew everything about each other. Being dumped and having to get over that has been the most difficult time I have ever had and I have been through a divorce and the death of my second husband. So Angel, I am quite alone. I do not have a really close relationship with another person. I have two dogs and 8 goldfish... that's it. I have my job and some friends, my kids( married and busy) and that's it. There are times when I am so lonely I almost go spare. Other times when it's ok. Gradually I am finding interests to fill in the spaces in my life. Hopefully one day there might be somebody. Until then, it's just learning to live totally alone. YOu will be fine and have much more peace of mind. You are young and there must be lots of opportunities for you to make a new life. Don't hang onto memories too long because it isn't going to change the outcome. Best wishes, GG Link to post Share on other sites
Author imperfectangel Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you I really do appreciate it I don't know where I'd be w/o ls right now Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 You have to be strong enough to value YOU ... and they try, and try ... even after you think you have moved on. They can kill you all over again with the constant attempt to resume the relationship. That prevents you from letting a good person in. Not fair and very cruel if you think about it ... xo Link to post Share on other sites
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