mike198 Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 (edited) So straight up I just don't get it. The girls I like never like me, and the girls that like me I never really like. The thing that's really confusing me though is that the girls that like me are pretty friggen good looking it's just I don't like their personalities while the ones I like arn't even that good looking but just have awesome personalities. Like even tonight I have chicks drunk texting me saying "your so hottt" but it's never the ones I like ;( I'm basically just really confused :$ Anyone got any idea what's going on? Edited January 28, 2012 by mike198 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Well if you've not found a connection you should continue to meet new people until you find someone who shares a mutual want to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I feel that urge to pinch you to see if you're real. I expected to find that you wanted the hot girls, but they didn't want you. This is really refreshing, but I'm also sorry that you don't get the girls you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Mutant Debutante Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Dude, this is just the way it is for almost everybody, on and off through your whole life. You want A, B wants you. Once in a while the stars align or your pheromones get some deodorant or whatever, and everything lines up and the one you want wants you back. Then if that doesn't end up working out, you cry for a little while and then go through the whole cycle and keep trying until everything mysteriously aligns again. That's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 So straight up I just don't get it. The girls I like never like me, and the girls that like me I never really like. The thing that's really confusing me though is that the girls that like me are pretty friggen good looking it's just I don't like their personalities while the ones I like arn't even that good looking but just have awesome personalities. Like even tonight I have chicks drunk texting me saying "your so hottt" but it's never the ones I like ;( I'm basically just really confused :$ Anyone got any idea what's going on? So you like girls who arn't even that good looking because they have "awsome" personalities. And at same time you're upset that good looking girls are into you because their rockin bodies and pretty faces arn't enough to keep you entertained when they talk about their day... Maybe you're gay? Nah really this seems like a brag thread to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike198 Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Haha dust I'm pretty sure I'm not gay and I still hook up with the hot girls at parties and stuff, their just not the ones you'd really wanna date thats all. mutant yeah I've come to realize that and anela that's funny haha but yeah oh well that's life. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Lets get deep on this as I can see where you're coming from here. First of all, think about how it affects you when a girl shows interest and makes it clear she likes you, you feel good despite maybe not wanting them. Now because of this lack of interest on your end, you don't respond to her advances. This doesn't put her off, in fact if anything it makes her more interested so she tries harder. Sadly, this makes you back away further. Now the other way round, when you fancy someone you in turn make all the moves and she in turn backs away initially. It's basically the same on both sides. Plus, sometimes when someone backs away from our advances it doesn't mean they're not interested, but they may just be enjoying the attention and letting you take the lead, wanting to see how far you go. Sadly, when we want something, we try hard to get it. If we try to hard this makes the person we want back away totally, as in the case of when someone wants you as I mentioned above. I do believe that it all comes down to wanting what we can't have and like me, you do like that challenge and find it more attractive when there appears to be something to work at. If someone is coming on to us, it takes away that challenge and appears all too easy, so in turn we don't feel compelled to carry on and instead look elsewhere. That challenge is a part of what we find attractive in someone, but often we try to hard and end up pushing someone away. If only we could find an even level where we see someone we like, we see that they like us but not too much just yet, so we work on them, get to know them, slowly. Then before we appear to be trying too hard we're able to back away and let them take the lead for a while. I know it all sounds a game, but I think dating (and often life) is a game, with winners and losers. Look at how you react around those you like and those you don't from the start. I know for me that when I fancy someone I'm careful at what I say, I worry I may say or do the wrong thing, which in turn makes me bottle up and not be open with them. This then leads to some difficult first dates. Opposite end of that (and the case with the girl who brought me here) when I'm not instantly attracted to someone I can talk openly and often be the life of a party, so to speak. As I don't think there's anything there, I don't think there's anything to lose, so I just be myself. This casual easy going attitude and the fact I'm not chasing them, usually means things pick up between us. Sadly, I have yet to be able to train my heart and mind into acting differently around those I like and don't like, so although I think I have a grasp on the reasons, finding a solution seems to be a bit more difficult. Ho hum, I keep trying though. Link to post Share on other sites
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