cherished Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 Ok my problem: I have been dating my BF for 14 months and our sex life has been great. In the beginning of the relationship (like in the first month before we became serious) he cheated on me once, the same night he called and apologized, I met the girl, he told her in front of me that he made a mistake he wanted to be with me he was sorry but that he would never see or talk to her again (he had met her one night and same night he slept with her). We worked on our relationship, worked it out and got serious. He takes me everywhere with him we are together non-stop except while he's at work and he calls me either on my cell or at home on all 3 breaks plus sometimes in between when he can sneak in a call without his boss seeing him. Basically everything has been good until last night... we were being "intimate" and usually I'm a fairly "dry" girl no matter what we do, oral or whatever I'm usually "dry" well for some reason after giving him "oral" I was obviously ready and excited and when we started to have s*x he pulled out and asked me who I had been with earlier! I was shocked because I have NEVER cheated on him! NEVER! I thought he was implying I had an odor or something and I was like but he said that I had "juices" down there that weren't usually there! He said they were "milky" like a guy's. They couldn't have been his because I had showered and all (obviously) since the last time we were together which was the previous night. He knows I've never been like that "wet" before so he is thinking someone else left something in there but I don't know why I was so wet or rather that is normal or not, also I don't know how to convince him I didn't cheat! I swear I didn't if I would have I would have clearly confessed I'm woman enough to stand up and accept responsibility for my actions but since being with him I've never cheated! Anyway I'm seeking advice on how to convince him and show him I didn't cheat on him. Is there anyway I can go about doing this? And has any other woman ever had this problem about normally being "dry" then all of a sudden one day you are overly "wet" then dry again the next day or could there be something wrong with me?
Moose Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 I don't think you'll be able to convince him....he'll always have doubts and that's not your fault....but there is just no way to offer him tangable proof. As far as your cum.....women's cum is also white and creamy....it was an orgasm and he should be proud that he helped you achieve it.....I'm not a woman, but I'd say that you are perfectly normal....there this picture that best explains it, it ltwo boxes each with a light on it, one says men on it and it only has one switch...the other has women on it and there are like 12 switches, 7 dials, slider bars , guages.....all that to turn the light on....do you get the picture? Women have to be tuned just right to achieve an orgasm....that's what I think happened to you and your boyfriend just wasn't expecting it..... Good Luck Moose
cherished Posted June 2, 2004 Posted June 2, 2004 Thank you for your response! I know in my heart he can't truly believe I cheated because he is the kind of guy who would walk away and never speak to that person again! He knows I was with my family all yesterday they even told him but his own insecurities won't let him believe I truly love him and I feel he thinks since he cheated that one day I will too but I'm just not that kind of woman! But anyway thanks for the insight!
Matilda Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Okay, I see a couple of different issues here. I'll tackle the physical issue first. A woman's "wetness" or "dryness" changes throughout her menstrual level according to her levels of the hormone estrogen. And yes some women are wetter and dryer than others due to varying hormone levels in each woman. This is also why, as women get older and go through menopause, they tend to have problems with dryness, because estrogen levels drop during menopause. A woman's wetness doesn't have as much to do with excitement as many people think. There is definitely more wetness if you are excited, and you are at the right time of the month for there to be wetness. The following link explains about cervical mucous, the information about mucous is down the bottom of the page. http://www.womenshealth.org/a/ovulation_fertility.htm I think it would be interesting for you, to figure out where in your cycle you were during that particular session of intercourse. I'm guessing right before you might ovulate, about day 12 or 13 of your cycle. The other thing to keep in mind, is that levels of estrogen, and thus wetness or dryness, can vary from cycle to cycle, so you could be wetter or dryer one month than you were the last. Alright, now on to the emotional issue. It just seems really odd to me that, out of the blue, for such a crazy reason, your boyfriend accuses you of infidelity. I think you could do a little research, and show him some information about women's cycles, blah, blah, blah, but I'm not really sure that would help. But I guess it's worth a try. I think you need to have a serioius discussion with him about why he accused you of that in the first place. I just think something else is going on with him.
Matilda Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 One other thing, if you are on the Pill it will make your cervical mucous thicker, this is one of the ways it prevents pregnancy.
wideawake Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Your guy obviously isn't very experienced with woman/sex. The fact that you are usually dry and than had a wet night isn't that unusual, it's fairly common I would think actually (in my experience anyway). I have no idea how you'll be able to convince him of such, but perhaps just let him read this thread. Good luck.
cherished Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 I wish that I could just let him read this post but he doesn't speak or read english. He's hispanic so sadly that wouldn't help. I tried to explain to him that it depends on hormonal levels and hopefully he got it, he has backed off that whole issue and seems to be ok now. He is very insecure, he should realize I love him as long as we've been together not to mention the fact that he is gorgeous, he has a great body, longish hair, beautiful eyes, ect. But he always says "you can do better than me" he claims I'm "too good" for him...he thinks because pretty that I'm shallow like a lot of other girls we know. He's silly but I realize that his issues with self esteem probably play a big role in this issue! But thanks for all your input I really appreciate it, I'm checking the links and doing more research so next time I'll be better prepared! I'm not on the pill so that didn't cause it but I know since I was just finishing with "that time of the month" maybe that was the cause....anyway thanks for listening to be vent.
FolderWife Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Wait....did you say you were DATING this guy for 14 months? You are NOT on birth control? He FELT HOW WET you were down there? All this spells to me, is that you are having unprotected sex, and you aren't married. DO YOU KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!?!?! DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY'RE MADE!?!?!?! *sigh* I've met yet another person that I'm working full time to support. Use condoms and lubricant, and that way he won't even be able to TELL how wet you are.
cherished Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 YES I know where babies come from...I am 23 years old and so is he. Yes I have been with him 14 months and yes if we do get pregnant I would be more than excited! We are engaged the only thing stopping us from getting married is we are waiting for his mother to travel from mexico for the wedding. The rest of his family is here including his father but we want to wait until she can be here as well. I am not some young foolish little girl having sex without a condom with someone I barley know!
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