First date since BU, guess who I ran into...

[SelfCentered]

It was like something out of a bad comedy.

 

I was up town last night with a girl on a date. First since BU. Was just going to have fun, chill out. Taking it slowly.

 

Walking along outside a bar, and I see the ex. Unbelievable. She doesn't even live in my hometown and only ever comes back from college during the holidays.

 

What are the odds.

 

I was having a cigarette with the girl I was with when I saw her. She saw me. In the end, I said hi, asked what she was doing back. Said she was just down for the weekend.

 

She was with some other guy. Well...not sure if she was "with" him or not. They didn't look like a couple and he didn't seem like her type. Looked more like friends having a drink and when they walked off they didn't hold hands or anything...

 

I was laughing and drinking with my date and I genuinely had a fantastic night. Kind of forced myself to after that I guess.

 

It was just odd seeing her. I can't believe it...what are the odds.

 

I was doing SO well too. I don't know how to feel now. Do I feel sad? Happy? This date was supposed to be closure of me moving on. I'm so confused. And I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it because I think they've had enough of my problems.

 

My date even said that my ex was a stunning girl. That didn't help. Was thinking rather shallowly "yeah....i miss having a pretty thing on my arm".

 

Admittedly my date was a good looking girl too. When my ex saw me she was really awkward. I was the confident one, and I was the one that got dumped!

 

What's going on guys? How do i feel? What's the protocol in this situation..I kinda wanna text her. But this time yesterday I was SO happy to be moving on.

 

Please help!

[Pens55]

Bad luck running into her. Let me ask though: why do you want to text her?

 

I understand seeing her brings back memories, etc. But if you have an interest in the new girl, do you really want to go running to your ex? Maybe she will turn out to be much better for you. There are a lot of complications the second time around in a relationship, maybe a fresh start with someone else is the better path.

[SelfCentered]

Well...I don't want to text her but I kinda do after seeing her if you know what I mean. I haven't yet...and I doubt I will. I guess a part of me wants to know who that guy was. And a part of me wants her to say "i still miss you".

 

I dunno. I thought I was really over her. But now I'm not so sure....

 

This other girl...nothings going to happen there. We had a great night but I knew right away I didn't want it to go further so there's no chance of ruining anything there.

 

I just feel like there's a god or some other powers that be that are ****ing with me. I was doing so SO well. January has been all about a new start and I was flying along. I've made plans to do things I want to do, I'm laughing again, I look fantastic. I arranged a date just to give myself an ego boost. Felt like everything was falling to place. And that had to happen. God why was she down this weekend out of every other ****ing weekend. The Saturday before if she'd come down I'd have been out of town. This Saturday I'm out of town. But it had to be the first Saturday I take a new girl out that I run into her.

 

It's really hit me for six. I'm so ashamed that I'm feeling like this. I want to go back to how it was on Friday when I was on top of the world.

[Pens55]

Well, you know that contacting her and fishing for an "i miss you" is probably not gonna work out well. If she wants to tell you she misses you, she will do whatever she can to make that happen.

 

Also, regarding getting info about the other guy...bad idea. What if what she says hurts you? Or you start arguing? How can you even be sure she would tell you the truth?

 

I would sit tight if I were you. Getting out on a date is a huge step in your recovery. Maybe this one didnt work out for the long run, but there's someone out there, and youre now in a position to find them.