VanHalen Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Hi everyone, thanks a lot for your help... First of all, I'm sorry for my english, I'm from Russia so my english is not perfect at all. This is my story: I work in a chemistry company here and about a year ago a new girl joined our team. We got along great and we became close friends. Actually, I don't know if we were really friends or we were just teasing with each other. She used to text me almost every day before work, then see each other all day in work, and after work she would also text me all the time. Of course I always answered because I enjoyed talking to her and I kind of liked her from day one. It was like this for about one year, we would also hang out on weekends. I knew I liked her and that she liked me, but I never acted on it because we work together and I didn't want our relationship to get awkward if it didn't work out. Anyways, it came the day when SHE confessed that had feelings for me, so I told her that the same thing happened to me and we kissed. That's when everything took a turn for the worst. We went on a couple of dates (two actually), but since her confession she stated showing disinterest. It got really hard for me to make her accept going out on dates (she only agreed to go out with me twice in ONE WHOLE month). She always had something to do. When we did go out we had a great time, like we always did, but with a "romantic" ingredient. All of a sudden, she asked to meet me for a cup of coffee and she told me that she wasn't in love with me and started crying. So we had a big fight. I told her that she shouldn't have said anything about her feelings towards me in the first place and asked her how was it possible that she liked me for over a year and after only 2 dates she realized that she didn't want to be with me. Well, she had no answer for that. That talk ended up badly. She cried and I got mad at her because she was being incoherent. We are both 25 years old. What are your thoughts about this? What do you think is going on with her? I really like her and I would love to be with her. How should I handle the relationship at work? Thank you guys! Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanHalen Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 Yesterday she told me she was sorry and that she wants to try again... God, she's nuts Link to post Share on other sites
lostboy11 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 That is nuts man. I was about to respond to you with some advice but it looks like at least she's going to try now. Just be careful. If she turns out to be emotionally unstable, it might not be as great as you thought. But I won't rain on your parade. I'm glad you get a shot with her. As you can see from my post in this same section, I am not so lucky. I really screwed something up for myself with a friend and I think it was all my fault. Anyway, best of luck with her. I think it could work out. Women are inherently crazy dude, so she might be normal and just having a nuts phase. The important thing is, if you really like her, you are getting a shot with her now. Let us know how it progresses! Link to post Share on other sites
Author VanHalen Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 Thank you for your reply! Well, two days after she told me she was willing to try again, she comes and tells me that she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend and that she doesn't want to date me anymore. I acted cool about it but now we don't speak to each other at all (we work two feet away). She tries to make small talk at the office but I prefer to ignore her. I just can't believe that someone who was supposed to be a "friend" can do something like this. It makes you think that the whole previous friendship was a total lie and nothing was real. We were best friends for an entire year, we used hang out all the time (during and after work). I didn't change, why did she?? I think that that's the worst part. When you start dating someone you just met you know that it may eventually not work and that if you break up there's no reason to keep in touch... But when you started off as friends the betrayal feels horrible. I miss her a lot, but I can't be friends with her anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Thank you for your reply! Well, two days after she told me she was willing to try again, she comes and tells me that she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend and that she doesn't want to date me anymore. I acted cool about it but now we don't speak to each other at all (we work two feet away). She tries to make small talk at the office but I prefer to ignore her. I just can't believe that someone who was supposed to be a "friend" can do something like this. It makes you think that the whole previous friendship was a total lie and nothing was real. We were best friends for an entire year, we used hang out all the time (during and after work). I didn't change, why did she?? I think that that's the worst part. When you start dating someone you just met you know that it may eventually not work and that if you break up there's no reason to keep in touch... But when you started off as friends the betrayal feels horrible. I miss her a lot, but I can't be friends with her anymore... Until a certain element (you) were introduced, she wasn't clear on her feelings for her ex. This has happened to me. I left a relationship, went through the healing period, felt over him, then upon dating, found out I wasn't. It was my own confusion and I would not hav discovered it without the "new guy" entering the picture. It's not consulation, I'm sure, but these things happen and can come as just a big surprise to the girl as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 (edited) It really sucks that she messed you around like that. I don't blame you for wanting to ignore her at work. Maybe in time you'll be able to speak to her again at work, but things will never be the same through no fault of your own. Keep your distance from her and keep yourself busy and surrounded by positive people. Hang in there! Edited February 15, 2012 by ja123 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts