Is Having An Affair Intoxicating (In A Sense?)?

[pharrigan210]

im unhappilty married and therefor in the midst of an affair with a woman ive been friends with for three years, ive been with her in the bed i share with my wife, in my wife's car, in the parking lot (twice) near where my wife was shopping, if my gf was in my wife's shoes it would make her sick to her stomach.

 

HOWEVER, because the thought of that happening to her is so vile, it actually makes her my gf feel powerful to do that to someone else? sorta like an ego trip - knowing she is powerful enough to devastate someone else. does that make sense?. but does that mind set apply to a lot of people? when she's alone with her thoughts, things are calm, she despises the fact that she feels that way - but it's like be drunk, intoxicated, or high - you know it's wrong, you know its hurtful, you know it's cruel, but it feels absolutely amazing. make sense? when she drives home after she thinks "why did i do that?" the reason - it felt amazing in the moment. thoughts?

[Trimmer]

im unhappilty married and therefor in the midst of an affair with a woman ive been friends with for three years, ive been with her in the bed i share with my wife, in my wife's car, in the parking lot (twice) near where my wife was shopping, if my gf was in my wife's shoes it would make her sick to her stomach.

Actually, it would make anyone sick to their stomach.

 

HOWEVER, because the thought of that happening to her is so vile, it actually makes her my gf feel powerful to do that to someone else? sorta like an ego trip - knowing she is powerful enough to devastate someone else. does that make sense?.

It's one thing to feel confident and powerful within your own life. It's a lesser thing to feel powerful by controlling or influencing another's life. And it's a far lesser thing to feel powerful by hurting or "devastating" someone else.

 

Really - you think she feels powerful? It's an illusion. How hard is it to hurt someone else? You think that's ego and power? I don't think so.

 

In fact, I think in her case - since she seems to be getting off on it - it's sadism. It's that simple: she gets off on hurting someone else. If you want to make excuses and call that "intoxicating" or "ego" or "powerful", you just go on convincing yourself of that. But don't miss the point that to do these things with intention and derive pleasure from them is sadistic to the core.

 

...but does that mind set apply to a lot of people?

I'll go back to your earlier point: "a lot of people" would be made sick by this.

[johan]

The forbidden seduction is extremely hot. It's ten times hotter than it would be if you were just single. That of course means you have a small chance of anything long term with this woman. She doesn't respect you, she's just really turned on by it all. The shine will wear off at some point.

[Trimmer]

The forbidden seduction is extremely hot. It's ten times hotter than it would be if you were just single. That of course means you have a small chance of anything long term with this woman. She doesn't respect you, she's just really turned on by it all. The shine will wear off at some point.

I agree that this is probably a part of it - as in many affairs - but the additional implication here is that she's getting off on using her "power" to devastate someone else (the BW) which adds even another layer to it, don't you think? That's where I got the sadistic element from...

 

I also agree with your conclusions... small chance, no respect, wear off, etc.

[Discjockey80]

Agree with both points. The power to devastate and the seduction part as well.

 

I have heard other women remark in the past that it is actually a hot fantasy to 'steal' a man from his woman and please him in ways the wife can't/won't, etc.

 

The same could go for some men as well the other way in terms of seducing another man's wife.

[Chs]

There definetly is. Hell to be honest i remember watching a movie about a girl cheating on her man and i almost found it sexy to think this would happen with my at the time girlfriend, i don't know why. Maybe it's just because its so dirty and forbidden.

 

I definetly think you are an ass for doing it to your wife though.