ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Several months ago I met someone that knocked me for a complete loop. She has all of the qualities that are important to me in someone I would consider sharing my life with. She's very intelligent, caring, easy to talk to, etc. She commands my attention even without saying a word. She makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world when I am with her. I never understood what people meant when they say their partner completes them, until I met her. I haven't felt this way about another person....ever. Not the kind of feelings I am having now. It's only been two months. I realize that is fast. She is definitely attracted to me and when we're away from each other, which is more often than not, we miss each other deeply. There are a couple problems brewing. She had chased someone for a long time that she loved but he did not love her back. Understandably that hurt her immensely. She tells me that she wants to go slow with me. Friends first. I am ok with that, but during this process she is hanging out with other guys. One guy in particular I know for a fact is trying to drive a wedge between us. And unfortunately, even though she has told him she is not interested in a relationship with him, he is not giving up on her. She likes motorcycles and he has a lot of them. So he's always inviting her to ride with him and to go to the racetrack. And she goes... This really bothers me. I know she doesn't have a physical attraction to this guy. She told him that she likes bikes and I realize that's a sport predominated with men. I don't know that I am jealous, I just think it's inappropriate behavior. He knows we're involved and I know what he's doing. I've explained this to her and have tried to be as understanding as I can. She sees it too. Yet she still goes with him. Is she testing me?! My problem is, I KNOW I am falling in love with her. I know these feelings I am having. I know she wants to go slow and I am have accepted her boundaries. But how do I get her to understand that hanging out with him crosses one of MY boundaries? I know this guy is going to do whatever he can to split us up. I can sit by and do nothing and hope things work out, or I can say something and risk the chance of losing her over something that may turn out to be nothing. I guess the old adage "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours. If they do not, they were never meant to be" applies here, no??? Advice?! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I guess the old adage "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours. If they do not, they were never meant to be" applies here, no??? I came up with my own phrase a while back. If you love something and you set it free, you're a dumba$$. Now of course this doesn't apply to those BEING let go, that's a different story. Then it would be more like, If you love someone, set them free and stop stalking them. Anyway, I would suggest that you let her in on your feelings. If the relationship has progressed in such a way that it has, feelings are already involved. Take it upon yourself to enlighten her with your thoughts, concerns and feelings. And for God's sake, if you love the girl, DON'T set her free. Talk to her and work it out. It may be worth it in the end. Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2004 Author Share Posted June 2, 2004 I can honestly say that I do love her and have never felt this way about anyone, EVER! I know her boundaries and I need her to understand mine as well. I do not think it's appropriate for her to hang out with a guy that I know for a fact has romantic interest in her. Regardless of the fact she doesn't have any interest in him, the more she hangs out with him, the more HE is led on. ....or am I the one who is being lead on??? Link to post Share on other sites
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