Eternal Sunshine Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them? Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Both men and women do it. You're telling me you've never watched a movie with a bf and swooned over a shirtless actor running around on screen? Its just human nature. Its not whether we do it or not, but rather whether we are mature enough to not act upon our fantasies while in a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them?OMFG, YES, YES, YES!!! (times a zillion). Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them? Yes. I spent a great amount of time with a woman (Girl A) and fell for her. She rejected me. Shortly after, I started dating Girl B. I'm not ashamed to say that in the beginning I still thought of Girl A WAY MORE than Girl B and I would think of Girl A when I was having sex with Girl B. Why I am I not ashamed to admit it? Because it's all emotional. And emotions are STUPID. You CANNOT control them. I was smart enough to realize that Girl B is a great woman who treats me awesome and respects me and that my feelings for Girl A would eventually fade. You don't think married men get crushes on other women? :lmao: It's not your thoughts. It's your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, it's the truth, ES. You better get used to the fact that men can never be happy with one woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 It's not gender specific. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yes, but it doesn't mean they ever act on it. An ex once revealed to me that he saw 20 women he wanted to f--k everyday. He was trying, in a crude way, to make the point that he cared enough about me not to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 It's not gender specific. Then that implies that some men don't wonder about other women whilst in a happy relationship. Because I was blind to all other men when i was in my last relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I think everyone does it to some extent. Whether it's a passing thought you hardly notice or a more intense fantasy. The key is that you are with someone you trust is mature enough to not act on those thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Of course. I even think about it (with men of course, not women) from time to time if I see someone hot out 'n about. I am extremely attracted to my boyfriend and would definitely never cheat on him, but it's just human nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Is the OP 12 yrs old? How could a grown adult be unaware of this? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 What about you, ES? Does your imagination never jump the fence? I don't think finding people attractive and thinking about hypothetical situations makes you prone to cheating. It doesn't mean you don't love your mate. It just means you have eyes and a brain. There is another line to cross before you get into infidelity territory. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them? Some guys do, yeah. I've heard that directly from some of my friends over the decades, so those men do more than wonder about it; they talk about it. I never have seen any correlation between length of marriage/family status/happiness and this feature of the psychology of some men. Perhaps there is a commonality linking them, IDK. I will say, for myself, during the years our M was good or even fair, I never had such thoughts. When it got to be quite unsatisfying, they did intrude. From talking with my male friends, I found my tolerance level for what 'unsatisfying' means is quite a bit higher than theirs. YMMV. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, it's the truth, ES. You better get used to the fact that men can never be happy with one woman. Bull. Ive thought about other girls while with my exes. But it was a thought of "hmmm I wonder what that would feel like". Its not that id ever really truly give serious thought about wanting to do it. Because when Im with someone, Im with them. I only want them. Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options. In many cases that's true. But there also guys who appreciate what they have and care about what they have built. More than they care about a fresh conquest. I think it's easy to show that women have the same tendencies, both good and bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options. Speak for YOUR man. Mine is not "only as faithful as his options," and I'm sure there are plenty of guys reading this right now who aren't. That's a pretty sad and insulting thing to say. Also, a guy thinking about what it would be like to have sex with various women in NO WAY means that he "can't be happy with one woman." Sure, there are guys who are philanderers and who really can't be happy with one woman, but fantasizing about others has little to do with it, if anything. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yes, it is true. But it isn't just men. I do it, too No big deal. It doesn't mean either of us want to change our monogamous status. Bull. Ive thought about other girls while with my exes. But it was a thought of "hmmm I wonder what that would feel like". Its not that id ever really truly give serious thought about wanting to do it. Because when Im with someone, Im with them. I only want them. Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options. Have you seen his avatar? He's got options! Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Sorry, but I would never think about sleeping with another man while in a relationship. My only passing thoughts when a shirtless guy appears before my vision are " Oh, nice body", or " He's hot" but these are more in reference to how visually stimulating they are and not sexual in nature. Am I the only one who thinks like this? When I'm in a relationship my SO takes first place and I have never really looked at other people. Link to post Share on other sites
soulm8 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Sorry, but I would never think about sleeping with another man while in a relationship. My only passing thoughts when a shirtless guy appears before my vision are " Oh, nice body", or " He's hot" but these are more in reference to how visually stimulating they are and not sexual in nature. Am I the only one who thinks like this? When I'm in a relationship my SO takes first place and I have never really looked at other people. I'm the same way. I always suspected it wasn't the norm, but I never want to change that about me. I love the fact that my man is THE man in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Not only do I think men (and women) can be simultaneously happy in a relationship and still fantasize about other people, I even think men (and women) can be in a happy relationship and enjoy flirting with other people, without ever being tempted to cheat. It's taken me a couple of years, dropping some of my insecurities, and taking an honest look at my own hypocritical behavior that's brought about this perspective. What I mean by hypocritical is that over the years, I have gotten insanely jealous over girls flirting with my bf's. (Or hearing about it second hand.) I thought up all these complicated emotional reasons for why my bfs were flirting... they weren't happy with me, they were jerks (true, but not for that reason), they were needy, etc. But hypocritically, if a guy had flirted with me, I would have been very flattered. I certainly wouldn't have acted horrified and ashamed. I probably would have flirted a little back. Did that mean I'd leap the counter and jump his bones? Did it mean my bf's weren't attractive, and that I wasn't in love? No. It was that I was monogamous, not dead. And flirting is fun. It just is. Just like fantasizing is fun. It's part of our animal brain. It tweaks our pleasure center. But that doesn't mean it robs us of self-control. It doesn't mean it destroys the foundation of a long term relationship. And if a little flirting and fantasizing is enough to bring a relationship tumbling down, was it really that strong to begin with? It's time to release the insecurities and enjoy a little fantasizing and flirting yourself. Relinquish some control of your bf. Allow some room for trust. Let him demonstrate he has self-control, that his enjoyment of other girls doesn't shake his commitment to you. I think once you can see what it's like from the other side (flirting and still caring about your bf), you'll be less inclined to see other women as a threat, and your bf as a jerk for enjoying a little outside validation. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options. Flawed viewpoint. Prostitution is always an option. By your logic, every man is automatically unfaithful because he has the option of prostitution. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Not every guy considers that an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Stupid thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Sorry, but I would never think about sleeping with another man while in a relationship. My only passing thoughts when a shirtless guy appears before my vision are " Oh, nice body", or " He's hot" but these are more in reference to how visually stimulating they are and not sexual in nature. Am I the only one who thinks like this? When I'm in a relationship my SO takes first place and I have never really looked at other people. I'm the same way. I can admire someone in passing, or even drool at Ryan Gosling, but I don't sit there wondering what it would be like to sex them. The only person I'm interested in even thinking about sexing is my SO. Link to post Share on other sites
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