Male psychology

[Negative Nancy]

Mine is not "only as faithful as his options," and I'm sure there are plenty of guys reading this right now who aren't.

 

That's what most women like to tell themselves in order to sleep soundly at night until the rude awakening comes Plenty of threads on here prove this.

 

99% percent of the men would cheat if's with an attractive woman and if there's a 100% guarantee that it would never be found out about.

 

 

Have you seen his avatar? He's got options!

 

I beg to differ...

Edited February 2, 2012 by Negative Nancy

[ascendotum]

Yeah, it's the truth, ES. You better get used to the fact that men can never be happy with one woman.

 

Sure they can...if you limit the time span to a week. Joking. Your a bit negative there NN. Maybe you had too many 'Toomy Lee' bfs like the guy in your avatar. The vast majority can be happy with one woman. In a long term stale relationship though some guys can fantasise that happiness can be found again with a new/another woman, and as you said options are a factor in terms of thoughts becoming anything more.

 

ES - I thought you had qualifications in physcology. Even in a happy relationship guys aren't totally blinkered to the beauty (looks & personality) of other women. Not all guys but I'd say most red blooded guys have thoughts of others past or present on occasion. There are many horny guy's like iris's bf that can see women during their day and think about sex or what she would look like naked when they see or interact them....and it doesn't mean they have stunted adolescent minds like DY thinks. You are not the only diamond in the field.

 

What about that rugby league build guy that you were on the verge of having a fling with. Would'nt the thought of what it would be like to have him pick you up and throw you over his shoulder cross your mind. You loved how big guys can make you feel girly, and that feeling no longer exists anymore?

[kaylan]

Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options.

 

Wow you are so full of it. I can tell you never read my threads or posts. Im as faithful as they come. I have never wanted to cheat on my exes because I loved them. As soon as I got together with them, I had no interest in other girls during our relationship.

 

Ive had opportunities while with my exes, but made it known to those other girls that I was with someone and I dont mess around.

 

Just because SOME guys jump at the chance to get new tail doesnt mean all men do.

 

I value intimacy with someone I love way more than meaningless sex with someone Im not with. Plus I value loyalty a lot in a partner, and Im not a hypocrite.

 

I never have and never will cheat.

 

Sorry, but I would never think about sleeping with another man while in a relationship. My only passing thoughts when a shirtless guy appears before my vision are " Oh, nice body", or " He's hot" but these are more in reference to how visually stimulating they are and not sexual in nature.

 

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

 

When I'm in a relationship my SO takes first place and I have never really looked at other people.

Id say Im like this, with maybe the occasional fantasy about a celeb or random person. It was rare with my last gf though. I was super focused on her when it came to anything sexual. She really got me going so I never really had much of an eye for anyone else while we were together.

 

Plus her body was my ideal, so if I ever did see something visually stimulating I would immediately think of her and want to do something about that feeling with her lol

Edited February 2, 2012 by kaylan

[musemaj11]

No matter how much a woman loves her favorite pair of shoes, she still wonders how the other pairs of shoes she sees at store windows might look on her.

 

Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options.

The same thing can be said about women.

 

A woman who has the option to marry an investment banker, wouldn't opt for the Albertson's clerk guy instead.

 

People in general want the best they can get.

[kaylan]

That's what most women like to tell themselves in order to sleep soundly at night until the rude awakening comes Plenty of threads on here prove this.

 

99% percent of the men would cheat if's with an attractive woman and if there's a 100% guarantee that it would never be found out about.

 

BS dude.

 

I HAVE had opportunities to cheat and never get caught, but Im not a douchebag. I would ruin myself for life when it came to relationships if I did so.

 

In a world where so many lie and cheat, knowing that I am capable of remaining absolutely faithful allows me to feel that others must exist out there like me. Basically, if I can be a loyal bf, then there must be girls out there for me who think the same way when it comes to fidelity.

 

If I get horny, Id have a girlfriend for that. After being torn up inside when I was cheating on in my younger years, I know I could never do that to someone. I couldnt be that selfish. I wouldnt do something to someone that I wouldnt want them to do to me.

I beg to differ...

So youre sure everyone elses man would cheat with the exception of yours?

Edited February 2, 2012 by kaylan

[Els]

Yeah, right. The only reason you didn't "want" to act on it because you had no opportunity to do so, I bet. A man is only as faithful as his options.

 

 

NN, you must have had some horrible experiences with men to believe that. I feel quite sorry for you. Given the sort of guy that you claim to be attracted to though, I'm frankly not terribly surprised.

 

Some guys do, yeah. I've heard that directly from some of my friends over the decades, so those men do more than wonder about it; they talk about it. I never have seen any correlation between length of marriage/family status/happiness and this feature of the psychology of some men. Perhaps there is a commonality linking them, IDK.

 

I will say, for myself, during the years our M was good or even fair, I never had such thoughts. When it got to be quite unsatisfying, they did intrude. From talking with my male friends, I found my tolerance level for what 'unsatisfying' means is quite a bit higher than theirs. YMMV.

 

From what I have gleaned from my experiences with guys, this seems to be fairly accurate. Speaking personally, I've looked at men and gone 'oh, he's cute', but never 'wow, I wonder how sex with him would be like'. Then again, I'm not sure if it matters.

[123321]

One way I heard it was "a wasp might fly into your hair; you can't control that. If you let it build a nest, that's your fault".

[Eve]

Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them?

 

I don't see this as a gender specific question. Not sure there are many gender specific questions when it comes to attraction.

 

I think that there is usually a template of some sort from which attraction is formed, with persons existing at different levels on the said template. For example, the highest levels of my template (in terms of looks and sexual attraction) are men such as Keanu Reeves, Kanye West etc. Then the scale lowers to an attainable real life scale where men exist who have a wisp, dollop, or a lot of similarity to those on the higher scale. Obviously celebrities are used as an active example here and my template is not based on celebrities only.

 

So, I don't see it as a bad thing to flirt with and mildly fancy those who are on different levels of a persons template when in a committed relationship .. as long as it is not serious. I think the attraction is just there becaue that is what a person likes. I don't believe we are supposed to kill that when we get serious with someone.

 

From my observations in life, problems come about if a person has not chosen wisely in the first place and then the other options can become a bit much for their brain. Or if the person does not want to choose one person from the template options, whilst their partner does. Or sometimes people are clueless and don't even know what they like/fancy/want and so the choices are often short lived due to being unrealistic.

 

Nope, I just see it as different people with different levels of self control, clarity of thought, self awareness and vision beyond base human instincts.

 

So, I fancy Keanu but even if I had the chance to have him, I wouldn't because my Hubby is now the right one for me out of all my options and I am the right one for him... because I said so..

 

So, not sure about the male psychology bit. It is probably more about human nature and conditioning methinks.

 

Take care,

Eve X

Edited February 2, 2012 by Eve

[Negative Nancy]

So, I fancy Keanu

 

Are you sure http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010514//425.reeves.keanu.lc.061410.jpg

 

 

On a serious note, the general trend here seems to be that the majority of women do not have sexual thoughts about other men. They notice other men, but do not wonder what their d*cks look like naked or how it would feel getting f*ed by them. Whereas men are never happy with that they have and constantly think about banging other women, as admitted here by many men.

 

So then why exactly is it that people try to tell me i'm jaded when my opinion is proven to be true in here?

 

[Els]

Are you sure http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010514//425.reeves.keanu.lc.061410.jpg

 

 

On a serious note, the general trend here seems to be that the majority of women do not have sexual thoughts about other men. They notice other men, but do not wonder what their d*cks look like naked or how it would feel getting f*ed by them. Whereas men are never happy with that they have and constantly think about banging other women, as admitted here by many men.

 

So then why exactly is it that people try to tell me i'm jaded when my opinion is proven to be true in here?

 

 

Uhm, because you are insulting the men here who claim to be otherwise by saying they are only loyal because they 'don't have options'?

[Negative Nancy]

If we lived in a society where naked beautiful women would constantly throw themselves at men and where it's perfectly accepted for a man to have an unlimited number of gfs, wives, you bet that 99 % of men would NOT have the typical girl-romantic thoughts of "the one". Men would NOT think : "oh yeah, these hot chicks here are beggin me to F them, but i'd rather pass them up and be my gf that i've had for years". In fact, such a society would be men's dream world. Everything else is just illusion at best and denial at worst.

 

Don't be mad at me, i'm just telling it like it is.

[kaylan]

^lmao....now she wants to think up hypothetical societies that if a guy was raised in it, would completely change his views of how relationships work. But we arent raised in that sort of society so we are shaped with different view points.

 

Face it Nancy, your original generalization failed. Stop now.

 

If I swapped the genders in your hypothetical society, Id expect women would mind having harems of attractive men to choose from either. But we are raised in societies that value monogamy...so your everything you just said is moot.

 

And how are thoughts of the one "typical-girl romantic thoughts". Plenty of guys out there are just looking for a nice girl to spend time with, not trying to bed various chicks. And just like some guys do want to sleep around, plenty of chicks want to do the same thing.

Edited February 2, 2012 by kaylan

[LelouchIsZero]

If we lived in a society where naked beautiful women would constantly throw themselves at men and where it's perfectly accepted for a man to have an unlimited number of gfs, wives, you bet that 99 % of men would NOT have the typical girl-romantic thoughts of "the one". Men would NOT think : "oh yeah, these hot chicks here are beggin me to F them, but i'd rather pass them up and be my gf that i've had for years". In fact, such a society would be men's dream world. Everything else is just illusion at best and denial at worst.

 

Don't be mad at me, i'm just telling it like it is.

 

Negative Nancy, how could someone ever want to leave a catch like you for another woman?! The idea is just absurd.

[Negative Nancy]

If we're raised in a society that values monogamy, there wouldn't be so much cheatinggoing on.

[kaylan]

^lmao....now she wants to think up hypothetical societies that if a guy was raised in it, would completely change his views of how relationships work. But we arent raised in that sort of society so we are shaped with different view points.

 

Face it Nancy, your original generalization failed. Stop now.

 

If I swapped the genders in your hypothetical society, Id expect women would mind having harems of attractive men to choose from either. But we are raised in societies that value monogamy...so your everything you just said is moot.

 

And how are thoughts of the one "typical-girl romantic thoughts". Plenty of guys out there are just looking for a nice girl to spend time with, not trying to bed various chicks. And just like some guys do want to sleep around, plenty of chicks want to do the same thing.

Typo. It should say "women wouldnt mind having harems."

 

And your not telling it like it is Nancy.

 

Anyone can think up hypothetical societies that imply the world, just to prove their flawed viewpoint.

 

I could say I believe that most people in our current society would mutilate someone for petty theft. Then I could do like you and back up my silly statement by saying:

 

"well if we lived in a society where stealing was seen as a supremely horrible act, one where you could cut someones hands off for doing so, then everyone would carry out such justice"

 

Thats a stupid argument, because obviously more people would be prone that violence if they are raised to believe its right. Some societies in the world are like that, but only because they are taught that its right. Society has great influence on what people perceive is right or wrong.

 

Hence your argument is BS, because in our society, monogamy is viewed as the right way to do things. Thus many guys believe this, and thus there are dudes who wouldnt cheat if given the chance.

[kaylan]

If we're raised in a society that values monogamy, there wouldn't be so much cheatinggoing on.

In ANY society, any teachings arent widely accepted by EVERYONE as correct. Some people follow these rules, some dont.

 

You argument still fails.

 

I guess since we live in a society where murders happen, it means we dont value life huh? I guess it means 99% of people would murder if they could get away with it?

[Ross MwcFan]

Is it true that even in the happiest of relationships, men still wonder about other girls and what sex would be like with them?

 

I'm not sure. But I think they probably would do if they have little experience with women.

[HeavenOrHell]

I'm the same, I only fantasise about my partner, because he's my biggest turn on.

 

IME, some men fantasise about screwing other women, and some don't, some will have fleeting thoughts about wondering what it would be like with other women but don't have full on fantasies about them, some will fantasise just about their partner. This is the same for men and women IME.

 

 

 

Sorry, but I would never think about sleeping with another man while in a relationship. My only passing thoughts when a shirtless guy appears before my vision are " Oh, nice body", or " He's hot" but these are more in reference to how visually stimulating they are and not sexual in nature.

 

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

 

When I'm in a relationship my SO takes first place and I have never really looked at other people.

[Negative Nancy]

If theft, rape and murder weren't punished or less severely punished, of course it would occur more often. Have you slept during your class of history 101? just gotta look back a couple centuries or even just decades to see what human beings with different morals and values are capable of. Cheating isn't condoned but not really punished either, so of course it happens alot in our society. You must be living under a rock or something.

[HeavenOrHell]

Uhm, no! When I've suggested having an open r/ship my partner is not into it at all, he wants us to be all or nothing, to be monogamous, so you're not telling it like it is for him, for a start, or my ex.

 

 

If we lived in a society where naked beautiful women would constantly throw themselves at men and where it's perfectly accepted for a man to have an unlimited number of gfs, wives, you bet that 99 % of men would NOT have the typical girl-romantic thoughts of "the one". Men would NOT think : "oh yeah, these hot chicks here are beggin me to F them, but i'd rather pass them up and be my gf that i've had for years". In fact, such a society would be men's dream world. Everything else is just illusion at best and denial at worst.

 

Don't be mad at me, i'm just telling it like it is.

[Eve]

Are you sure http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010514//425.reeves.keanu.lc.061410.jpg

 

 

Ok, people can argue about whatever they arguing about but ..

 

Even though I dislike the beard.. Keanu is still severely hot.

 

.. His overall hotness cannot actually be debated, on this planet. Seriously now Nancy.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Philosoraptor]

We are quite the product of our environment. Which is why in one group or country you see having multiple partners as no big deal, while you don't see such things in an area where monogamy is valued.

 

If you look back far in history, it does show that males tend to spread their seed while females grab onto what is best at the time. But when these females saw something better they would say "Ugg is stronger than Err, so me take Ugg" and poor Err would be left as Ugg has now become the stronger male and the better protector.

 

The fact is without societies or religons rules, the world would fall into chaos as a good deal of people now, and later generations, would eventually revert to their baser instincts.

 

While men are more likely to have thoughts about a variety of women (spreading the seed so to speak), women are more likely to have one man in mind (the better protector/provider).

 

Do I have a thought here or there? Sure, I accept it but wouldn't act on it. If I were raised from birth in a such a culture that allowed and encouraged it.. I'd most likely be a product of my environment. If a change was made today, I can say with confidence that the person that I am would never allow me to bed another woman that I was not in a committed relationship with. Would I still have a thought or two? Sure. But I am a product now of my mind and heart so even a sudden change of society wouldn't change who I am as a person.

[kaylan]

If theft, rape and murder weren't punished or less severely punished, of course it would occur more often. Have you slept during your class of history 101? just gotta look back a couple centuries or even just decades to see what human beings with different morals and values are capable of. Cheating isn't condoned but not really punished either, so of course it happens alot in our society. You must be living under a rock or something.

Are you daft lady?

 

Like I said, peoples actions are influenced by what society considers right or wrong. So you cannot simply say 99% of men in our CURRENT society would cheat if given the chance, just because they would in your HYPOTHETICAL AND FICTIONAL society.

 

If people were taught to worship animals, a bunch of them would. Oh guess what? That happens with cattle in India, but some cultures look at them as weird for it.

 

You must have a rock in your brain if you cannot understand the simple concept of societal influence over behavior. The fact that different societies have different cultures and morals is why you original statement is bull crap.

 

We live in a society where many like monogamy and dont cheat. Then there are those who still get into monogamous relationships, but will cheat.

 

Lets recap:

 

1. You said 99% of men would cheat if they wouldnt get caught.

 

2. Myself and others tell you thats bs, because Im a guy whos had chances to cheat but wouldnt do it ever.

 

3. You come up with a hypothetical situation about a fictional society and try and use it to prove your point about real life, non fictional society that we live in.

 

4. You cannot apply fictional culture and morals to real life society. People in our society did not grow up in your make beleive land.

 

5. You FAIL.

Edited February 2, 2012 by kaylan

[kaylan]

We are quite the product of our environment. Which is why in one group or country you see having multiple partners as no big deal, while you don't see such things in an area where monogamy is valued.

 

If you look back far in history, it does show that males tend to spread their seed while females grab onto what is best at the time. But when these females saw something better they would say "Ugg is stronger than Err, so me take Ugg" and poor Err would be left as Ugg has now become the stronger male and the better protector.

 

The fact is without societies or religons rules, the world would fall into chaos as a good deal of people now, and later generations, would eventually revert to their baser instincts.

 

While men are more likely to have thoughts about a variety of women (spreading the seed so to speak), women are more likely to have one man in mind (the better protector/provider).

 

Do I have a thought here or there? Sure, I accept it but wouldn't act on it. If I were raised from birth in a such a culture that allowed and encouraged it.. I'd most likely be a product of my environment. If a change was made today, I can say with confidence that the person that I am would never allow me to bed another woman that I was not in a committed relationship with. Would I still have a thought or two? Sure. But I am a product now of my mind and heart so even a sudden change of society wouldn't change who I am as a person.

Agree with this.

 

Also, humans are capable of complex cognitive thought. This is what makes us different from animals. We have a sense of whats right, wrong, and whats best for society.

 

We are more than basic instincts, so I always scoff when people try and reduce modern human behavior to that of animal behavior or prehistoric caveman behavior.

 

Nowadays, since women have gained equality to men in some societies, those women can go and jump from bed to bed just like the "seed spreading" men do. I never really believed women in the past didnt want to do this. I think its just that they couldnt.

 

Some were sneaky and able to get away with it, despite whatever backlash was possible. Most women however couldnt be with more than one guy because men had all the power and are territorial. Nothing to do with female instincts not wanting a variety of guys imo.

 

But then again, I think you can mold people to do many things if you raise them to do those things since birth. We are products of our environment as you said. We do have minds of our own and form our own ideas on many things, but on many other things we take after those who raised us.

Edited February 2, 2012 by kaylan

[xxoo]

Negative Nancy, you think if you don't want to sleep with a guy, other women don't want to either? That's funny.

 

Is it really so hard to believe that a person (man or woman) can be really happy in a monogamous relationship and still think sometimes about sex with others?