Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Any one have any tips, from either personal or observed accounts, of how to improve oneself when coming from rock bottom? I am weigth recovered from an eating disorder, howevever, I have many mental and social issues as a result of it. I have no friends, job, or real life now. All I had was my body and being thin before. Now, I am a normal weight, but no confidence or life. Obviously, I need to get a job, friends, and do what I need in order to feel good about myself. Here are the steps I already KNOW I need ( so u do not have to re hash them, although I would like u to tell me if I am on the right track, and let me know if I am not) - I am doing cert 2 and 3 in retain and customer service, so I can get a job in the better shops and just get easy work, easily ( In australia, u get jobs easier if u have certificates and qualifications - I already have cert 4 in fitness, and plan on trying to start to train people - Personally, I feel my happiest when I work out daily - that hour a day, makes me feel better the remainding 18 hours I am awake, and it is no effort for me. I like to look good, my having a fit body. - I am going to read a lot more books ( I love real life reads, such as biographies). I love learning through this way. - watch the news most days - The current events and world issues that I am clueless about, I will research occasionally, as this will make me feel better when talking to people. - I will be a positive, happy person, because I do enjoy smiling and being positive, and it will also attract more people to me at the gym, for instance, which is the only place I can really meet people right now. - I will see a psychologist, and explain the road blocks, the things I knwo that are wrong, but cannot deal with or overcome on my own. What are other things I can do? On the plus side, I have met a very socially adept, positive, lovely boyfriend. He met me when i was underweight still, and has been with me as I recovered. He has obviously seen me at my very worst, and still loves me. My mental problems and social state, have hindered me from feeling the last bit good about myself. Obviously, I need to work on liking myself, before resuming the relationship. I have tried staying with him whilst trying to better myself, but it is a danger, because I always start fights for no reason, because I am insecure and feel badly about myself deap down; I cannot pretent or shor tcut my way to feeling good about myself, just top stay in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 (edited) Hey Sounds like you have really considered your life and are looking at all things you can do to enjoy it more. And well done on recovering from your eating disorder - that's brilliant! Of all the things you listed, I wasn't sure about watching the news. I found watching less news helped me deal with my life more and since a lot of news is bad news, reduced the amount of negativity in my life. What are you hobbies and interests? We often meet like-minded people through shared interests, so maybe spending more time on something you're interested in will lead to more social interaction. I know you said the gym, and maybe getting more involved there will increase your social circles. You like reading so maybe look for a book club in your area. They are a way to meet new people and socialise. Knitting clubs, charity work, helping out at school events, things like that, are good ways to get involved and it's when we get involved we meet people and have a good time. When you select a psychologist or therapist, don't be afraid to shop around a bit. If one doesn't feel right for you, try another. A good therapist will support and challenge you, and the regular sessions will help you think about your progress. Also, self-affirmation is very effective. Simply say "I'm good" to yourself several times a day. You can even sneak it in when someone offers you something you don't want. Instead of saying "no" say "I'm good, thanks". Hearing that will give your subconscious nourishment. Put little post-it notes up around the house saying nice things about yourself. You'll be surprised how effective it is at making your feel good about yourself. Now read through what I have just written and pick out all the positive words like "good" and "brilliant". If you like what I wrote, and you see how easy it is to add positive, kind, lovely, beautiful words to normal sentences, and it made you feel positive, kind, lovely, beautiful, then just add those words into your life more and you will soon accept just how positive, kind, lovely, beautiful you really are! Edited February 2, 2012 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 Sounds like you're pretty much at the same stage I'm at in life. If you're wanting to become more positive though, I wouldn't recommend watching the news too often, as it's always usually doom and disaster, and that isn't what you should be feeding your brain/focusing on a lot of the time, if you want to become more positive and happy. A good idea would be to swap a lot or at least some of the news watching, for watching comedies or feel good tv shows/films instead. It's what I do anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 I'm happy you are going to a psychologist. Make the most of that. I think you would benefit from joining a support group for people with eating disorders. You will be able to help other people who have experienced what you have, as well as get support from regular people who have already conquered some of the challenges you face. I also think it would be very important and helpful for you to organize and structure your days. Since you don't have a job or a social life yet, it would be a good idea to commit to some regular volunteer work and NOT allow yourself to miss any days of that. Something you are interested in, where you can be useful and helpful to others. Look for a meetup group in your area that focusses on something of interest to you. You could learn to cook Chinese food, or paint, or go birdwatching. Whatever. It will help you get OUT OF YOURSELF and meet people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Share Posted February 2, 2012 I am actually doing a cert 2 and 3 in retailand customer service, which is 9 - 5 , during the week. I also am starting to go to the gym every day after the course. In my down time, I have little money ( only from the government), therefore I can learn plenty from the internet, and finish reading all the books I have. I know absoluterly nothing about the world wars, for instance; my boyfriend LOVES watching war documentaries, and I like that about him. I will watch such documentaries with him ( he has pay TV! unlike mee). He does not have a degree or a high ranked job, he hates reading and literature and would never see a movie with subtitles.... he simply likes learning about the war in general. My boyfriend is a positive influence, in that he likes to try and learn new things. We want to learn Spanish together ( as we want to visit South America sometime soon), but we do have to get the time and mioney to pay for classes. Or I will get a cheap do it ourself tape and learn it myself, I think:) I will be taking little steps every day. Working out well, eating better, doing what I know I need to do, in order to LOOK and feel great. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts