how do you let go?

[crstl33]

well here I am looking for advise. How do you let go? My husband left me 2 weeks ago. Its been so hard. Every one around me don't understand why I miss him so much. I ache in my stomach missing him.

 

My husband told me he wasn't happy 3 weeks ago. He stayed for a week, we slept together but no sex, or compassion. It was hard to sleep next to someone you just want to reach out and hold. He was so cold. I had a full day of work, and for a strange reason I knew he would be gone when I got home. We really never talked about what was his or what was mine. But he took everything he thought was his, except his clothes. That night he stayed. I tried so hard not to fight with him, but I still couldnt understand why. The next day I went to work, and of course when I got home his clothes where gone and so was he.

 

He treats me like I dont exists. I tried talking to his mom, and she tells me to give him time. He is just going thru a guy thing. But what exactly should I do. I want to call him all the time, I want to be with him. Its hard to let go. I love him. How can it be over when I dont want it to end.

 

In our marriage, looking back, it does feel like I did the most in the relationship. I had a friend tell me, I did almost everything without him. And he did the same. I really never noticed. Sounds stupid doesnt it. But he had his life and I had my life. hmmmmm... now what....

[scared2Balone]

I am still trying to figure out how to let go, but we share almost the exact same situation. my husband told me two weeks ago he wasn't happy then this past saturday he left. The only peace I can find is in what my dad told me the last time he did this to me, a marriage is a vow to be together for the rest of your life, you kept up your end of the bargain and he was the one who left. He will realize one day and it may not be soon that you were a good thing and may try to come back but then is the time you need to ask yourself if you could stand to be with someone who disregarded your feelings and left? In my opinion, everything happens for a reason, maybe this happens to show you that you are strong by yourself and will find someone who treats you just how you want to be treated or at least that is how I like to look at my situation. Good luck!

[sweet lou]

I am in the same exact situation (almost). My wife told me a month ago she was leaving on july 1st, moving out with our three kids. She had enough of my verbal abuse and lack of emotion. I finally realized what kind of man I had become and I dont blame her for leaving. It hurts so bad that it almost feels like she died and I lost her forever. She and her friends and family all tell me the same thing give her her space. That is the hardest thing to do I love her so much and I want to change and every time I tell her how I feel she says I am pushing her farther and farther away. I can only tell what others have told me. Concerate on yourself, believe in god and ask him to help you get through this diffcult time and give him space if he loves you he will come back. I have convinced my wife to go see counsling with me (although she is not open minding about it) and I have surrounded my self with people who have gone through this same situation, people I have meet in church. It never seems like it is going to get easier but stay strong and I will pray that your husband finds his way back to you.

[Wolvesbaned]

It was hard to sleep next to someone you just want to reach out and hold.

 

I know exactly what you mean and like the rest I'm going through a similar situation. No counseling, nothing, he made-up his decision and so I left. I think he would've been fine if I stayed in that little apartment with him, actually that was his plan --that I would stay until his financial situation was cleared and we would continue living like roommates, just as we did 2 weeks prior to 'his' decision. Those 2 weeks of "space" was total hell for me. Cohabitating in that little apartment without holding him or being able to just tell him how much I care in fear it would intrude into "his space".

 

Sleeping next to a man you love like life itself but not being able to touch is the hardest thing on earth. I'm sure he never noticed how I would get into bed as soon as he did, just to be close to him -- we rarely slept at the same time before, always him first, me hours later. It started getting comfortable after a few days, I remember, and somehow without realizing, I looked forward to sleep because that was the closest we were together.

 

It's been a little over 1 month now since the real separation and although it's still hard, it's never as hard as those last few days. Thank you for letting me remember.

 

It will get better.

[ready2moveon26]

I reply to quite a few posts on here and by now, I'm sure some of you have read what I've had to say, but half of the things I've said have been lies. I don't mean I'm lying to you about what has happened in my life, but I have been lying about my feelings. I love my husband more than anything. I had the life I wanted and now its gone. When I try to move on and meet new people, I constantly find myself comparing them to him and he always wins. Although he did hurt me over and over again. I have said, "I'm done, I'm moving on, I love him but not the person he is now." These things all seem to be true, but my heart isn't in it. My husband and I seperated twice and this time has been the hardest. Yeah the last time was hard too because I had no idea why he left, but I was the one that left this time. I want him back more than anything in the world. I love him. It hurts me knowing he is with someone else, whether he has feelings for her or not, it hurts that he is not where he should be...with me, so I know how you are feeling. I wish I could help but this time I am not going to lie, I am going to agree with you completely and say that I don't know what to do. I need help just as much as you do...