Getting girl is easy and fun if you try!

[Dust]

Let me bring you inside my mind for dating purposes. This post is meant to be inspiration for helping yourself do what you need to do to get girls. So, guys who are stressing about women and haven’t yet figured it out this ones for you. So enjoy the journey and allow yourself to be inspired and entertained. Please use this as motivation toward immediate action. Emulate the spirit of what I say here and know that you already have all it takes to just get started and act!

 

When I first started posting here many screen names ago I had just graduated college and had never been kissed. I was and still am a tall, good looking, and handsome man. Well at least in my opinion, the only one that counts after all! I had been my own worst enemy when it came to women. I over thought everything and was so afraid of rejection that a girl showing interest in me was actually scary because that meant I had to face losing that interest and being rejected. I had put myself in a state of inaction. I didn’t ask out girls and when opportunities provided itself like a girl who might like me I didn’t do anything. I had friends who were short, balding, and out of shape who did great with women. This is something that helped me. It was an aha moment. I said to myself why not me, oh because I don’t try and the do! They were the type of guy who had fun chasing and asking out every attractive girl they saw. It was so easy I just had to act. So, finally I got off my ass at 22 the summer I graduated from college and made a move on one of the best looking girls I had ever known while going to school. I mean she was hot as hell! I had never made moves before, never been so bold as to just flat out ask a girl out. I was kind of lame on the date and took her to a bar afterward where I got drunk… which is a bad move… but it gave me the courage to spontaneously kiss her when she was telling me I was a jerk because of something mean I was probably saying while attempting to tease her flirtingly. Well that kiss turned into a make out and before you know it I was making my next move inviting a girl to spend the night. Wow I went from kissing for the first real time to already wanting to fck I was making up for lost time. I never did tell her I was a virgin in fact denied when she asked the next morning. I wasn’t perfect, I made a lot of mistakes… but I was making moves!

 

Now she did end up dumping after a short time of dating. It was heart breaking at the time funny now. I felt like wow this was a fluke I’ll never be able to do it again. But something had changed in me. I knew action was the key. Women were no longer these untouchable things that could destroy me with their rejection. I had survived being rejected by a girl I wanted more then any other girl. More importantly I had reached out and grabbed a girl and now I was hornier then ever. I just tried and was bold and only a month or two later I had a new beautiful gf. It was at that point I truly stopped worrying about women because now I knew it wasn’t a fluke I could get women I liked. I’m not claiming I’ve slept with many women or can get any women. What I’m claiming is I know that I can get women and I don’t worry about being single or dumped. If you get a woman and you’re always worried about being dumped because you believe you can never get one again you’ll taint your relationship and give a strange power to the women not to mention add a lot of pressure on her in a weird way. Also if you’re single and you’re all stressed out every time you go on a date you won’t enjoy anything. Not only is that stressful but it will make it much harder if not impossible for some to act or if acting for those actions to work. You don’t want to make a big deal about asking or going on a date with a girl. It’s not life or death just be cool and have fun. Make that your inner dialogue. Do not tell yourself you’ll be upset and it will be big trouble if you get rejected. Just say to yourself I’m enjoying talking to her I hope I can get her on a date with me. Then on the date I’m enjoying this date I want to see her more and I’m going to try touching/kissing her.

 

Here are some mindsets that will help.

 

You want to have vision and not be blind to women. That means being able to see the fish in the sea. I see so many posts about “where do I find women” or “how to meet women out of college.” As if there is a lack of dateable women or they are hard to find. I see good looking women everywhere just leave your house. If good looking women really are only on a college campus then go there and use the library and hit on chicks. Fact is women are at restaurants working/eating, they are at anywhere you go to buy things again working/shopping… They are every where. Do a 5k sponsored run, go to a charity event, join a cooking class or creative writing club… you get the picture do something that gets you out of the house. Stop expecting a woman to drop out of the sky naked and into your lap. A lot of guys also get obsessed about one specific girl and ignore all others losing their vision. This is ridiculous because the guys who do this usually have never even had one date with the girl. If they have had a date they haven’t kissed/touched her in any romantic way. Yet they become obsessed and only want to focus on this girl. Lets be logical about this you’re obsessed with a fantasy. Get to know a girl and be intimate with her before allowing your feelings to get to strong. Do this out of respect for yourself. It’s disrespectful to yourself to worship some girl you don’t know, not to mention its counter productive. Don’t believe in things such as “the friendzone” and “nice guys finish last.” Don’t assume you’re are nice guy for who knows what reason and that any guy who can get girls is an ass-hole. Don’t believe a girl doesn’t want to date you because you’re nice or to friendly. It’s ridiculous. When a girl rejects you by saying you are nice she is just trying to be nice. As opposed to saying you creep her out, or you’re boring, or what ever. It doesn’t matter what she thinks it doesn’t make it true… just like her saying you are a nice guy doesn’t make that true. Plus they never say I can’t date you because you’re to good a guy. What they’re actually saying is I don’t want to date you but be proud you’re a good guy! The same goes with being friends. It’s a way of rejecting some one that you can use to your favor. If a girl rejects you but wants to just be friends don’t start screaming about the friendzone, just be happy you have more chances to ask her out. Also if you don’t want to ask her out anymore or get bored/annoyed at asking her out things can just keep on going like before if that’s what you want. Bottom line you don’t have to be friends with some one so if they reject you in this way you can just stop being friends with them and it doesn’t matter what they think. So open yours eyes and don’t get obsessed on one girl and you will see there are many women to meet. You could flirt/ask out 20-100 women a week if you’re single with barely any effort. Think of it as a good time not some stressful challenge to your existence. It’s not a numbers game so, don’t think if I ask out 100 women I get one. It’s a journey you just keep on flirting and having fun till you find the right one! Again it’s not a numbers game you don’t die if you get rejected by 100 women in a row. In fact you lose count and become more comfortable with yourself and learn a thing or two a book could never teach you. You grow if you allow yourself to.

 

Be yourself to get girls. You don’t have to be some bad ass or ahole to get girls. You want to be yourself, the best most confident version of yourself. Be the happy fun loving you! Women love genuine guys. That’s why if you try to be this castrated version of yourself it won’t work. Women aren’t out to find the biggest doormat yes man. It’s not about just saying or doing what you think they want to hear. That’s fake. Be genuine, be yourself. You’re not an ahole if you think a girl is pretty and you try to kiss her. You’re not an ahole if you want to have sex with a woman. You’re not an ahole if you have fun with a woman. You’re not an ahole if you disagree or say no to a woman. If you’re a nerd then be nerdy around the girl. If you’re cool about it then you’ll find a girl who is cool about it too. Also as a man it is your job to realize girls are more scared and do the chasing in the beginning. It’s not your job to be the only one impressing them. They have to impress you too. You have to like them back. Sure since they are more scared and you are the one doing the chasing they will initially have the chance to accept/reject. As the guy though, you have the power to create options through chasing women. This will help equalize their power to reject. You have the power to create options! That mean you get to be yourself around over 100 women a week if you are flirting/asking them out. Most women won’t get asked out over 100 times a week even if I count online dating, which I wont! Bottom line best way to show a woman a good time is to be having fun yourself. You can enjoy her if you aren’t enjoying being yourself. Don’t get stuck in the approaching stage. Making up excuses why you can’t just walk over and say something to her. Enough of the what am I going to say? It’s not a book, you don’t have to write a script… just be yourself and mumble noises if that’s all you are capable of. Just do it! You can ask them to do anything after you’ve flirted. Ask them to a friends party you are going to or the movies, or a concert what ever you like to do. A restaurant you like is good first date.

 

Getting women is a very sexual thing. As a man being horny is what will drive you to great lengths. If you weren’t horny what would the point of any of it be? So use that sexual urge as your ally. Allow yourself when interacting to look over and take in her beauty. Look at breasts, her butt, her lips and enjoy it. Don’t leer but also don’t be afraid to let her see you taking a confident glance and enjoying what you see. Allow yourself to think about all the things you’re going to do to her given the chance. Do it in her presence and make sure you make moves. I’m not saying to think of them as sex objects. Think of them as girls you want to have sex with. To me it’s very sexy to think of the entire person and their story when wanting to have sex with them. Like who she is. But I allow myself to get turned on and horny. Not that I could stop that. But a lot of men here seem to have some how stopped that. To them getting a girl is like looking for a job… Getting a girl has some similarities of looking for a job but you really need to not think of it as some kind of transaction. You need to get horny and think of this as a sexual journey. A woman will be energy to allow you to do this. You don’t need a match maker. You are the match maker. Let that sex drive give you the energy to do what needs to be done. Don’t put all that energy into porn or masturbation. A little masturbation once a week on a day where you won’t be dating is ok if you need it… say a Tuesday, but no porn. You need to put that sex drive into real women. Also you can easily end up still masturbating and watching porn when you do get a gf if this is a habit of yours. So channel sexual energy into women… real ones… not the ones in pictures/movies or what ever else.

 

Girls like confidence. They like seeing a man comfortable being himself. Now further then just being yourself this also means a man of action. Some one who will ask them out. Some one who does what needs to be done instead of running away. What needs to be done when you like a girl is flirting/asking her out. So just do it. Being scared is fine if you act. Fake it till you make it shouldn’t even be a saying, because if you fake it then you’ve made it. If you ask a girl out even if you’re shaking on the inside (and out) you’ve just been confident! Girls get really turned off and bored by a guy who never makes a move. Internet dating can be a good tool. For the most part I hate it and don’t use it. All it does is bring out the worst in people. Kind of like meeting in a bar but not as drastic… although I’d rather meet some one at a bar/nightclub then online dating. What online dating does is add an extra step to dating. You don’t get to skip the meeting and go right into a first date, so you now have to meet them online the extra step and then for real if you get that chance… You haven’t proven anything till you meet in person and see that you are attracted, and that it’s mutual. So you have to go through messaging 100 women which could take a while only to have maybe 5 respond and that would be generous and then they have to agree to meet you. Then you’d be very lucky if one of those you meet actually share an in person attraction with you. If you go through the little to no effort of flirting/asking out women in real life you’ve already met them in person so you can meet 100 women as opposed to maybe 5. You skip that having to get them to agree to meet you step. Also meeting some one under online dating circumstances puts added pressure… not to mention girls who would have dated you might not because you are false version of yourself represented by a photo and stats like height, interests, job… When you meet in person she sees you move, talk, smell… you’re a person not just stats. Most importantly you’ll get more options therefore more attractive girls who you don’t have to worry about looking like their picture. So be confident and act… go after women! When you meet in person it doesn’t have to have as much pressure either. Its not that you met to date, you’re just chatting up a girl you met and if you like talking to her you ask her out!

 

Don’t be too picky. It’s not about having a list of things you need. If you’re feeling 100% attracted to a girl and would love to get your hands on her just go with it. Don’t start worrying about some list of things you need. Girls who will turn you on and have you 100% attracted should be every where. Don’t get in this weird situation where you claim you can’t find any girls who you are attracted to. Give yourself permission to be attracted. Don’t be gay… unless you are gay then go be gay! If you’ve never had a gf then you should be attracted to a lot. It has to be natural though. Don’t find yourself saying “boy she’s unattractive I bet I can get her.” Because unattractive girls are just as hard if not harder to get as girls you do find attractive. Besides if you get a girl you’re un-attracted to what’s the point… self punishment? Girls you find attractive will push your sex drive giving you the energy to chase her down and have your ways with her haha. That’s why it’s important to allow yourself to be attracted by not being too picky. Love a woman for all that she is and go after her. Do not judge her! If you’re not too picky and you allow yourself to be attracted to girls you find attractive you’ll go far!

 

Take the pussy off the pedestal. Girls aren’t Gods or more appropriately goddesses. They can be very judgmental but truth is they are more scared then we are. They have more to lose. We’re stronger for the most part, and our feelings when it comes to dating are less easily hurt. I know the guys here afraid of rejection will find that hard to believe but it’s true. Most girls are more afraid of rejection even when compared with guys who are considered afraid of it. The reason guys do the chasing for the most part is because girls are afraid to do it. Don’t worry about being rejected and a girl thinking you are a creep or loser. It doesn’t matter if she thinks you are a creep. Girls find everything creepy. Being with a girl doesn’t in itself make you a better or worse guy. You’ll still be the same guy you are now whether women loved you or hated you. If you some how develop a reputation of being the big creep who bothers women… girls would actually be turned on by that… that’s why there for the most part only a guy who does well with women gets that kind of reputation to try to stop women from going out with him… but its useless because women love a good Quagmire. So stop being so afraid of some fantasy that women are greater then men and their opinion of you if rejected sentences you to hell. Be yourself and scare, piss off, annoy a few women and enjoy doing it! Nothing better then making a pretty girl smell your farts! Haha

 

Now get to it. You can’t learn this stuff in a book or video. You can’t ask a bunch of questions in a forum and learn it either. You have to teach yourself by doing. I hope this motivated you. Your true motivation needs to come from your sex drive. Be a man of action and do and your failures will teach you more then your success ever will. Just go out there and do. Talk to girls and just say what ever, tell them you saw a cloud that looked like a penis if that’s all you can think of that might be fun to say… then after talking for a short period ask them out. Then very importantly when on the date make more moves. Kiss them, touch them. Finally when they are you’re gf don’t be some pussy who thinks you’ll never get another gf. Feel free to argue with her respectfully when you disagree. Don’t be some yes man who just tries to do and say anything she wants to hear. Be sweet and kind with her but also be willing to spank her pretty little ass if she needs and she’ll thank you.

 

Please feel free to give me some updates in this thread. If you were a man of no action but you asked a girl out this weekend or went on a date and kissed a girl, or if you just flirted. Get out there and do it!

[ThaWholigan]

I saw a cloud that looked like a penis...........genius.

 

I echo all your statements, and even though I have hypocritically psyched myself out more than I would like, I am in alignment with this course of action, and everyone else should. Only one point I will disagree with:

 

A lot of the stuff I got better at doing, I had read in a book. I wouldn't completely discount that way of understanding, but truthfully, you will never get any better experience than trial and error and actually doing something.

 

I support this thread, and will certainly give updates....

[Cracker Jack]

Good topic, Dust. And I agree with the overall message. Once I changed my mindset and began to understand that talking to women is something that's supposed to be fun instead of some dreadful mission, it all became clear to me. For me, complaining about my situation...my fear of women and lack of experience was much easier than actually doing something about it.

 

I don't even give a crap about rejection anymore and I'm glad. Had I kept worrying about it, I'd still be stuck in the same ridiculous cycle. Not giving myself a fair chance is worse than rejection to me. I wish I'd understand this early on, since I've missed a lot of obvious signs from women to approach, but all that matters is the present and creating more opportunities. I still have a lot of things to work on, but the idea of getting a woman no longer stresses me out, because I know I can.

 

Btw, good to see you again, Wholigan:cool:

Edited February 4, 2012 by Cracker Jack

[Red Arremer]

If it looks like I'm picking and choosing stuff to respond to here it's because I am , but here are some of the thoughts I have when I read your post.

Be yourself to get girls. You don’t have to be some bad ass or ahole to get girls. You want to be yourself, the best most confident version of yourself. Be the happy fun loving you!

I don't know about this whole "be yourself" thing. I work a desk job 9-10 hours a day, and I spend my free time either watching television or playing video games. That is pretty much me in a nutshell. I have basically no interests or aspirations beyond just what I've already talked about because I have very little free time, and in the free time I do have I've been so shy for so long that I don't even really know what I'd do even if I did somehow find the courage to go out and do it. Hell, I've even wanted to get into the competitive gaming scene here (I think I may have actually mentioned this before, there's a very large and active one where I am) but I'm even too shy to play f*cking video games competitively. So... yeah. I feel like I can't really be myself around people because of the whole stereotype that people who do nothing but play video games are... well, guys like me.

 

Getting women is a very sexual thing. As a man being horny is what will drive you to great lengths. If you weren’t horny what would the point of any of it be? So use that sexual urge as your ally. Allow yourself when interacting to look over and take in her beauty. Look at breasts, her butt, her lips and enjoy it. Don’t leer but also don’t be afraid to let her see you taking a confident glance and enjoying what you see. Allow yourself to think about all the things you’re going to do to her given the chance. Do it in her presence and make sure you make moves. I’m not saying to think of them as sex objects. Think of them as girls you want to have sex with. To me it’s very sexy to think of the entire person and their story when wanting to have sex with them. Like who she is. But I allow myself to get turned on and horny. Not that I could stop that. But a lot of men here seem to have some how stopped that. To them getting a girl is like looking for a job… Getting a girl has some similarities of looking for a job but you really need to not think of it as some kind of transaction. You need to get horny and think of this as a sexual journey. A woman will be energy to allow you to do this. You don’t need a match maker. You are the match maker. Let that sex drive give you the energy to do what needs to be done. Don’t put all that energy into porn or masturbation. A little masturbation once a week on a day where you won’t be dating is ok if you need it… say a Tuesday, but no porn. You need to put that sex drive into real women. Also you can easily end up still masturbating and watching porn when you do get a gf if this is a habit of yours. So channel sexual energy into women… real ones… not the ones in pictures/movies or what ever else.

This... this whole paragraph, with all due respect I don't believe a word of it. Even with regular manual release I'd say my sex drive is somewhere between "off the rails" and "literally all I think about," so I'm not sure letting the pressure in the tank build up even more is the solution. Plus, there is no way in h*ll (not sure if that word is censored, but seeing as how one bad word sends your entire post down the memory hole I don't want to chance it) I could possibly have an interaction with a woman with my libido cranked up to 11 without coming off as a massive, massive creep, I know my limits.

 

re: online dating

I actually do really well sending messages on OLD sites, in fact I'd say well over half of the first messages I send out get replies. It just *always* fizzles out really quickly after that, because I don't really know what to do once we've exchanged 2-3 messages or (heaven forbid) we meet up in person or (even worse) the girl wants to talk on the phone first. Ugh, phones. That could be a whole other post right there.

 

Don’t be too picky. *snip* Girls you find attractive will push your sex drive giving you the energy to chase her down and have your ways with her haha. That’s why it’s important to allow yourself to be attracted by not being too picky. Love a woman for all that she is and go after her. Do not judge her! If you’re not too picky and you allow yourself to be attracted to girls you find attractive you’ll go far!

This is sort of another problem of mine when I interact with women. If I'm not physically attracted to her, normally I can talk with them and w/e just fine. The instant I even get the inkling in my head that, hey, I wouldn't mind boning this girl, it all goes south. It's like an all-or-nothing scenario. Or more accurately a nothing-or-nothing scenario, heh.

 

If you some how develop a reputation of being the big creep who bothers women… girls would actually be turned on by that…

Ahahahahaha what. I just... what.

[Dust]

I saw a cloud that looked like a penis...........genius.

 

I echo all your statements, and even though I have hypocritically psyched myself out more than I would like, I am in alignment with this course of action, and everyone else should. Only one point I will disagree with:

 

A lot of the stuff I got better at doing, I had read in a book. I wouldn't completely discount that way of understanding, but truthfully, you will never get any better experience than trial and error and actually doing something.

 

I support this thread, and will certainly give updates....

 

Books are great tool and very entertaining enriching part of my life. It’s no substituted for life experience. That’s the message I was trying to get across and we’re in agreement about that. You have to be out there and regularly living life and gaining new experiences if you want to grow in anything.

 

I look foward to your updates the sooner the better! Should be a good read, and as always I enjoy your writings.

 

Good topic, Dust. And I agree with the overall message. Once I changed my mindset and began to understand that talking to women is something that's supposed to be fun instead of some dreadful mission, it all became clear to me. For me, complaining about my situation...my fear of women and lack of experience was much easier than actually doing something about it.

 

I don't even give a crap about rejection anymore and I'm glad. Had I kept worrying about it, I'd still be stuck in the same ridiculous cycle. Not giving myself a fair chance is worse than rejection to me. I wish I'd understand this early on, since I've missed a lot of obvious signs from women to approach, but all that matters is the present and creating more opportunities. I still have a lot of things to work on, but the idea of getting a woman no longer stresses me out, because I know I can.

 

Btw, good to see you again, Wholigan:cool:

 

Then it sounds as if women aren’t a problem for you either anymore. I’m glad to hear you changed your outlook.

 

When I’d see a pretty girl I used to get all nervous and upset. I’d beat myself up later for what I did or didn’t do. I overwhelmed my self into a state of little to no action. Now when I see a pretty girl I enjoy looking at her. If I get nervous which of course I might I do it with the inner dialogue that what ever happens is ok and to just enjoy trying something with a girl I find pretty. It doesn’t have to end in her being my gf/wife. I just enjoy my time with her whether it be a conversation in line at a store or a date because I can’t control if she likes me. If a lot of girls you like don’t like you it only makes it more special when you find some one who does.

 

 

I don't know about this whole "be yourself" thing. I work a desk job 9-10 hours a day, and I spend my free time either watching television or playing video games. That is pretty much me in a nutshell. I have basically no interests or aspirations beyond just what I've already talked about because I have very little free time, and in the free time I do have I've been so shy for so long that I don't even really know what I'd do even if I did somehow find the courage to go out and do it. Hell, I've even wanted to get into the competitive gaming scene here (I think I may have actually mentioned this before, there's a very large and active one where I am) but I'm even too shy to play f*cking video games competitively. So... yeah. I feel like I can't really be myself around people because of the whole stereotype that people who do nothing but play video games are... well, guys like me.

 

The more unique you are the more important it is to be yourself. Don’t put yourself down, be proud of who you are. If you want to get into competitive gaming you should do it. Sounds fun whether you win or not right?

 

You don’t have to like the same things as the girl you date. You can have fun with a girl who is really girly and hates all those things you’d be surprised. Be yourself and you’ll find yourself having a better time. Don’t judge yourself as unworthy. Just make jokes and humor can be your common ground.

 

Working a lot and playing video games aren’t exactly the kiss of death either. You’d have more trouble if you said you never want to work and you like collecting baby fetus jars. But even that guy would be happiest and do best as himself.

 

 

This... this whole paragraph, with all due respect I don't believe a word of it. Even with regular manual release I'd say my sex drive is somewhere between "off the rails" and "literally all I think about," so I'm not sure letting the pressure in the tank build up even more is the solution. Plus, there is no way in h*ll (not sure if that word is censored, but seeing as how one bad word sends your entire post down the memory hole I don't want to chance it) I could possibly have an interaction with a woman with my libido cranked up to 11 without coming off as a massive, massive creep, I know my limits.

 

You’ll have to learn how to control that libido when its cranked up because that my friend is when you’ll do best with women. You won’t explode if you stop looking at porn and masturbate only once a week at most. Also when you masturbate don’t do it on the day of a date or the day before a date. Heck if you know you’re going to be around women you can ask out, or a date is coming up try not to masturbate at least a few days before that occasion. You want to be horny when you know you’ll be around women.

 

It will help because you’ll channel sexual urges toward real women as opposed to picture/movies/txt/imagination what ever it is that gets you off. You need to respond strongly to living/moving/breathing women in person. Yes you may come off as a creep but that’s something you’ll need to learn to live with. Obviously if you can gain some control the better. Remember one woman creep is another woman’s Tarzan or wild lover. Women will tell you the same thing I am. They a like a guy who gets turned on by women, not porn or other such masturbation fantasies.

 

My guess is I’m a lot hornier then you another reason why I’m telling you to cool it with the porn and masturbation. Unlike real women porn/masturbation has a very avalanche type effect, as in the more you jack off to porn the more you will jack off to porn. You need to get that under control and channel it toward real women especially if getting girls has been an issue for you.

 

And remember don't worry about being a creep or scaring women!

 

 

I actually do really well sending messages on OLD sites, in fact I'd say well over half of the first messages I send out get replies. It just *always* fizzles out really quickly after that, because I don't really know what to do once we've exchanged 2-3 messages or (heaven forbid) we meet up in person or (even worse) the girl wants to talk on the phone first. Ugh, phones. That could be a whole other post right there.

 

 

You start off claiming you do well with OLD then you kind of admit you don’t…

 

Maybe you get over half to respond, but in real life when you meet a girl you’ve already skipped that step. You’ve already got 100% meeting you in real life with out msg, or responses or phone calls. That means if you get a date it’s a real date as opposed to a first meeting. As I also explained you don’t have the taint of online making it more likely to be rejected. A girl who wouldn’t even respond to you online because she didn’t like your pic or some other thing she read in your profile very well may like you if she meets you in person.

 

That’s why your focus needs to be on real life encounters. Really how silly is it that you find it easy to say “hi” to some one on a dating site, but you can’t do the same with some pretty girl you see in real life. Just do it.

 

As far as your online dating goes don’t rely on it. Just try to meet the girls in real life as soon as possible and don’t have long back and forth’s. If you have a phone call before meeting in real life just make it a “I like your voice, I’m looking forward to meeting you in person” type thing. No long drawn out communications with a girl who you may not share any mutual attraction with.

 

 

This is sort of another problem of mine when I interact with women. If I'm not physically attracted to her, normally I can talk with them and w/e just fine. The instant I even get the inkling in my head that, hey, I wouldn't mind boning this girl, it all goes south. It's like an all-or-nothing scenario. Or more accurately a nothing-or-nothing scenario, heh.

 

 

 

That’s probably because you’re more natural as in just being yourself around girls you don’t like. If you try to impress a girl by just doing or saying something you think she likes you may come across as fake. You also may be stressing out once you like a girl. Just relax and enjoy a girl even more if you like her. If it screws up oh well, try again with her or give up if its clear it will never happen… always think positive though unless they really make it obvious like shout they are calling the police if you ask them out one more time haha.

 

Ahahahahaha what. I just... what.

 

Just don’t be afraid of being a creep or loser. Ask girls out if you like them. You need to fill in the blanks by being yourself. But basically you need to keep your eyes open for girls you find attractive. You should be seeing plenty if you do as little as grocery shop once a week, go to a gym, shop for one thing. Heck you’re single so go to a library/book store. Go do something like see an art exhibit you wanted to see. Just take a walk down town…

 

You’ll see girls you like. So when you spot them you need to flirt. All that means is go talk with them. Don’t make excuses not to like not being in the mood or them looking busy. Interrupt their cell phone/ iPod time with “excuse me.” Tell them about how you want to be a professional video game player and how its crazy they have million dollar prizes for playing fun video games. Tell her anything really. Talk about how you saw a dog fcking a cat if that’s all you can think of. (obviously that might not be best but better then nothing)

 

After you have flirted ask them out. Don’t be a wimp and walk away with out asking them out. It’s really lame to have a fun time talking to a girl only to walk away when you feel awkward. Ask her out if you run out of things to say, better yet ask her out before you run out of steam. Even if they acted annoyed might as well ask them out. Remember you’re not asking them for their number you’re asking them out. Some guys think asking a girl for her phone number is the same thing as a date and its not. You’re more likely to get a yes by asking her out in person, then asking her for her phone number only to call out later to ask out. You just say something like lets get dinner, or lets have drinks. Then you get their number as part of them going on the date with you. If they said “no” you still get their number so you can ask them out again.

 

Then on the date you make more moves. You’re not going out to be Mr. Castrated she male. You should touch her hand or what ever. You try to kiss her at the end of the date. Even if she doesn’t want to do those things she’ll respect that you tried.

[turt]

I've been thinking about creating a thread about this subject for a while. I have too many question to ask for this thread!

[Jynxx]

Like the spirit of the thread, don't like some of the tips at all but doing something is always better than doing nothing.

[somedude81]

So a good looking, tall 22 year old guy asks out a hot girl. He acts lame on the date but it doesn't really matter.

 

Later on he gets drunk and in his stupor kisses her. Though it wasn't mentioned if she was drunk or not, she responds and it turns into a full make-out. Then he lucks out even more and she accepts the invite to his place. He loses his virginity, then proceeds to date her for a while.

 

I didn't bother to read the rest. Because from then on any guy (including me) would be fine.

 

Know what that was Dust. Luck. Drunken luck.

 

What would have happened if she slapped you after you tried to kiss her, then she took off and never talked to you again? Do you think you would have turned out the same?

[Red Arremer]

The more unique you are the more important it is to be yourself. Don’t put yourself down, be proud of who you are. If you want to get into competitive gaming you should do it. Sounds fun whether you win or not right?

 

You don’t have to like the same things as the girl you date. You can have fun with a girl who is really girly and hates all those things you’d be surprised. Be yourself and you’ll find yourself having a better time. Don’t judge yourself as unworthy. Just make jokes and humor can be your common ground.

 

Working a lot and playing video games aren’t exactly the kiss of death either. You’d have more trouble if you said you never want to work and you like collecting baby fetus jars. But even that guy would be happiest and do best as himself.

I suppose, I mean boring people with desk jobs have been dating/marrying boring people with desk jobs since the beginning of desk jobs. I imagine this one probably ultimately goes to the fact that I'm not really attracted to that kind of person and (even more than that) that I sort of resent the fact that I myself have seemingly turned out that way.

 

That, plus I have very little reaction outside the people from my boring desk job so I can't really relate to anyone else, I feel like.

 

You’ll have to learn how to control that libido when its cranked up because that my friend is when you’ll do best with women. *snip*

In a way I can see where you're coming from in this part of your post, but like I said before I still have a really hard time believing it. Partially because I know what I'm like when I don't have any release for an extended period of time (it's true, I don't literally "explode," but like I said it honestly gets to the point where it's nearly all I can think about and it affects my concentration on other things, see boring desk job above), and partially because as an OLD veteran I've seen the creepy old guys I know I would turn in to. I'm 30 now and getting dangerously close to that territory myself, and just... ugh.

 

You start off claiming you do well with OLD then you kind of admit you don’t…

Just to clarify, I meant I was good with my initial message and then everything else was kind of... meh. I admit I'd have better luck if I could do dating in real life, but I have had very, very, very little success with that in the past.

 

That’s probably because you’re more natural as in just being yourself around girls you don’t like. If you try to impress a girl by just doing or saying something you think she likes you may come across as fake. You also may be stressing out once you like a girl. Just relax and enjoy a girl even more if you like her. If it screws up oh well, try again with her or give up if its clear it will never happen… always think positive though unless they really make it obvious like shout they are calling the police if you ask them out one more time haha.

I agree with everything you said here, it's just sort of easier said than done.

[Imajerk17]

Great thread Dust!

 

I'm typing from my phone so my comments will need to wait. But I did want to check in. (For some reason the best threads here don't get enough responses. )

[Romeofud]

The bottom line of this thread is not to take chicks so seriously lol. Its def true 'cause I always just go with the flow and hit on cute babes at every turn. I say anything. I dont give a **** what she thinks. Its hit or miss. I'm just ****ing around. Having fun. They never really get mad. No need to.

 

Check this out. Last night was out by myself and I hit up 12 girls. 3 of the 12 responded. The other 9 didn't. 1 of them called me a pervert lol. I just laughed, actually liked it, and kept on rowing. Now in 2hrs I'm meeting this cute chick with a nice ass at Dave & Busters .

 

Guys stop overthinking ****. Just talk to the honeys. Keep it brief then on to the next. If she doesn't bite then its her problem, not yours. Have fun. Its saturday night .

[Oxy Moronovich]

Great thread Dust!

 

I'm typing from my phone so my comments will need to wait. But I did want to check in. (For some reason the best threads here don't get enough responses. )

This is a fact. If it weren't, stupid threads like "porn..again" and "Male psychology" wouldn't go past the 2 page mark.

[carhill]

Thanks for the comprehensive and well-considered post

 

1. You want to have vision and not be blind to women

 

2. Be yourself to get girls.

 

3. Getting women is a very sexual thing.

 

4. Girls like confidence

 

5. Don’t be too picky.

 

6. Take the pussy off the pedestal

 

7. Now get to it.

 

8. I was and still am a tall, good looking, and handsome man

 

Retrospectively, I hit all the bullet points except for 6 and 8 back when I was your age and 6 went away by the time I hit my 30's.

 

Next time I meet a single woman, I'll give that 7 a try and update. It's been a good long while since I've met one but that's nothing new. I do meet a lot of female real estate agents while looking at properties but they're married (wedding rings). Is it OK to use them for 'practice'?

[ThaWholigan]

So a good looking, tall 22 year old guy asks out a hot girl. He acts lame on the date but it doesn't really matter.

 

Later on he gets drunk and in his stupor kisses her. Though it wasn't mentioned if she was drunk or not, she responds and it turns into a full make-out. Then he lucks out even more and she accepts the invite to his place. He loses his virginity, then proceeds to date her for a while.

 

I didn't bother to read the rest. Because from then on any guy (including me) would be fine.

 

Know what that was Dust. Luck. Drunken luck.

 

What would have happened if she slapped you after you tried to kiss her, then she took off and never talked to you again? Do you think you would have turned out the same?

 

Sometimes "luck" is all it takes. It's like being a striker in football. Robin Van Persie is the best striker in the premier league right now. He is normally a forward who is skilful and creates chances for others, but lately, he has adapted his game. Now his movement is superb and he is always exactly where he needs to be in order to score goals, and he puts them away.

 

Dust didn't think about "if she slapped me, I wonder what....", he just did it and maybe he did luck out. The point is, he said F*ck fear and went for it, and it is a really simple example of what we all need to do. I learned to stop putting an importance on having a woman in my life and just to make myself happy and get what I need, and just to have fun with the women that I do encounter. I now don't take the dating thing as seriously as before and I now have a much better viewpoint.

 

Dust is onto something here, lets at least embrace it.

[somedude81]

Sometimes "luck" is all it takes. It's like being a striker in football. Robin Van Persie is the best striker in the premier league right now. He is normally a forward who is skilful and creates chances for others, but lately, he has adapted his game. Now his movement is superb and he is always exactly where he needs to be in order to score goals, and he puts them away.

 

Dust didn't think about "if she slapped me, I wonder what....", he just did it and maybe he did luck out. The point is, he said F*ck fear and went for it, and it is a really simple example of what we all need to do. I learned to stop putting an importance on having a woman in my life and just to make myself happy and get what I need, and just to have fun with the women that I do encounter. I now don't take the dating thing as seriously as before and I now have a much better viewpoint.

 

Dust is onto something here, lets at least embrace it.

And when I tried that, it's never worked. So I had my fears confirmed, and he didn't.

 

It's much easier to keep trying with something when it's worked before. Simply because you know you can do it.

 

I don't have that luxury of a past positive experience to think back on. There is nothing that tells me I can do it. Though I've gotten a lot of feedback that tells me I'm a failure.

[RecordProducer]

I never did tell her I was a virgin in fact denied when she asked the next morning.

Girl: Dust, are you a virgin?

Dust: Nah!

Girl: I mean... before you did it with me..

Dust: Nah!

Girl: But... you kinda seemed like a virgin to me.

Dust: Nah!

Girl: Are you sure?

Dust: Yah.

Girl: Was this your second time then?

 

****************************************

 

Dusty, I agree with 1/3 of your post - that's about how much I read because I had to stop after 30 min.

 

Very inspiring. Oh, you forgot to advise the guys when they approach girl to tell them "I am 45 but I look 35... everybody tells me!"

[dispatch3d]

well a lotta words. Anyhow I would say just making moves on women is the key ingredient to getting girls. Works enough of the time that eventually you'll get a girlfriend, hurray!

[NYC-BigKat]

well a lotta words. Anyhow I would say just making moves on women is the key ingredient to getting girls. Works enough of the time that eventually you'll get a girlfriend, hurray!

 

My frnd says its not working for me 'cause I talk too much. He mostly just grunts & says a couple comments to girls with a smirk & they seem to like it more than a guy that actually likes to talk alot. Girls are getting difficult.

[Imajerk17]

A few of my comments, as promised.

 

I didn't lose my virginity until I was well into my 20s. I thought it would be a huge deal but it was not. We did end up in a 2-year relationship. Women really are hornier than men.

 

Anyway, for the guys struggling: I see the Lovable Losers on here who just whine and whimper like lost puppy dogs, hoping that they will meet a girl kind enough to give them a treat every now and then. I feel sad seeing guys so beat down like that. It's also very unattractive.

 

(1) Whenever you go on a date, you need to make a move, and you need to make it soon. Very soon. I'm actually talking right from the very start. I'm not talking date rape (no means no guys, OK?) or anything like that, and you don't want to overdo it either. But you need to let her know with your actions what you are about right away. When you meet her, hug her and then guide her to the destination by putting your hand on the small of her back, caressing it lightly. [Aside: Don't meet the girl right at the location of the date! Let there be a short walk first. The worst thing is that you're sitting down too far for you to smoothly touch her, so you don't, and so her first impressions of you are "platonic"]. During coffee/drinks/dinner (if you insist on doing that sort of thing) take her hand to look at the jewelry on it.

 

Pull your touch away though from time to time, otherwise it will feel all too cheesy. To you too.

 

I've had first kisses happen within 15 minutes of the start of the date. You know how awesome that is? I'm sure there are others who have done far better than I have though, but who cares. This isn't a competition.

 

And yes, I've also gotten the "you're a really nice guy but..." line plenty of times too after the date. That happens more when I didn't take my above advice. If you do make your move early on and she isn't down for it, then pay only if you feel like you want to be a gentleman. Otherwise she isn't into you, so save your money and go Dutch.

 

 

(2) If you're not meeting women, you need to ask yourself why. Are you really trying? Truth be told, some locations are harder to meet women than others. You might be going to grocery store 5 evenings a week and late Saturday mornings (when the honeys like to shop, after work and after their yoga class) but you still might see only one pretty girl a week (or even a month) who doesn't have that bling on the fourth finger of her left hand. Small towns can be like that.

 

If that's your situation, then you do have some serious disadvantages. Because someone who is (perhaps) available and cute is so rare, when you DO see one, you're predisposed to go into approaching her with the attitude of "Now is my big chance!", instead of being more realistic. (You know nothing about her!) This actually makes it a lot more likely that nothing will happen. Also, you might also be out of practice when it comes to talking to people. To this end, you might have to get into the habit of talking and flirting with married women, for "practice".

 

But if you live in a big city, c'mon, you don't have this problem. You will probably see several pretty girls a day who don't have rings on the fourth fingers of their left hands. If you approach half of them and even 10% of those girls like you it's a date a week.

 

 

(3) You don't have to have the best game in the world when you do talk to them. Make some observations about them. Ask them about their day and add some things about yourself that shows that you're a real person. You're getting kale at the grocery store because you want to eat healthier and so you are trying a new recipe. You just came from the gym and set a new PR but your muscles are going to be sore tomorrow, but you're probably not nearly as "bendy" as the yoga chick you're talking to.

 

 

(4) Women don't like a guy who tries too hard too early on. I used to be pretty needy, and this killed my chances. I'd be asking the girl question after question and the conversation never went anywhere/the number she gave me was no good, and so on.

 

 

(5) Women don't want to be your only passion. You have hobbies you are excited about, right? It helps....

 

 

My thoughts for now....

Edited February 5, 2012 by Imajerk17

[Dust]

I've been thinking about creating a thread about this subject for a while. I have too many question to ask for this thread!

 

Then I encourage you to come back here and post an update about how you went out there and tried. Don’t just talk to a girl and walk away with out asking her to do something. If you get date you have to make some more moves, don’t treat it like a platonic job interview… you have to touch her and more.

 

Like the spirit of the thread, don't like some of the tips at all but doing something is always better than doing nothing.

 

This thread is mainly meant to overcome specific objections and give very bare bones advice. I think the individual who is living his life will be able best to educate themselves through experiences. Obviously reading and talking about this stuff with others like anything else can help. But like anything else actually doing is where you’ll learn more then any book/class can ever teach you. That’s why the focus of this thread was to motivate people and challenge them to post and update on actually going out there and doing something.

 

I didn't bother to read the rest. Because from then on any guy (including me) would be fine.

 

Know what that was Dust. Luck. Drunken luck.

 

What would have happened if she slapped you after you tried to kiss her, then she took off and never talked to you again? Do you think you would have turned out the same?

 

I encourage you to read the entire post I wrote as you are one of the people I had in mind when I wrote it. Hopefully it will encourage you to change your inner dialogue and that would end all your problems regardless of if you had a girl to call yours. I’d be more interested in what you have to say had you read my OP but I’ll respond to you anyways.

 

You have to be in it to win it. As in you can’t get lucky unless you’ve put yourself in a position to do so. A hot girl isn’t just going to magically show up at your front door to seduce you with her body and boos.

 

My point wasn’t that I got lucky my point was I was pretty lame and things just worked out. So stop being the guy who over thinks and worries they won’t know what to say and do and just do your best. My best that night was lame girls easily get turned off by this kind of thing but it all worked out. I consider myself better looking then my balding shorter friends yet they were doing way better with women then me. It’s because they weren’t overwhelmed into a state of doing nothing like you currently are.

 

Here’s the thing Somedude trying doesn’t mean asking a few girls and giving up. It means going out there and living your life every day with out worrying about if they say yes or no. It’s about asking out and dating girls for a year or over if that’s what it takes. You just constantly make up excuses to do nothing. Prove me wrong about you and post an update about how you asked out a completely new girl. Some pretty girl that fate just happened to bring into your life.

 

I agree with everything you said here, it's just sort of easier said than done.

 

It’s all in your head so, if you make the voice that believes in yourself louder then the one that doubts you’ve already done it.

 

Go out there and ask some women out. Smile, talk, and then ask them out. Post some updates. Just be yourself and say what ever comes to mind. Enjoy the interaction whether they do or not.

 

Check this out. Last night was out by myself and I hit up 12 girls. 3 of the 12 responded. The other 9 didn't. 1 of them called me a pervert lol. I just laughed, actually liked it, and kept on rowing. Now in 2hrs I'm meeting this cute chick with a nice ass at Dave & Busters .

 

Haha so you’ve called a pervert too. The women who date me know for sure I’m a pervert!

 

Good story about how if you don’t take it to seriously getting rejected doesn’t have to ruin your day. Now he gets to enjoy arcade games and a nice ass.

 

This is a fact. If it weren't, stupid threads like "porn..again" and "Male psychology" wouldn't go past the 2 page mark.

 

haha

 

Thanks for the comprehensive and well-considered post

 

1. You want to have vision and not be blind to women

 

2. Be yourself to get girls.

 

3. Getting women is a very sexual thing.

 

4. Girls like confidence

 

5. Don’t be too picky.

 

6. Take the pussy off the pedestal

 

7. Now get to it.

 

8. I was and still am a tall, good looking, and handsome man

 

Retrospectively, I hit all the bullet points except for 6 and 8 back when I was your age and 6 went away by the time I hit my 30's.

 

Next time I meet a single woman, I'll give that 7 a try and update. It's been a good long while since I've met one but that's nothing new. I do meet a lot of female real estate agents while looking at properties but they're married (wedding rings). Is it OK to use them for 'practice'?

 

Thats like having a practice war haha. You enjoy your practice!

 

And when I tried that, it's never worked. So I had my fears confirmed, and he didn't.

 

It's much easier to keep trying with something when it's worked before. Simply because you know you can do it.

 

I don't have that luxury of a past positive experience to think back on. There is nothing that tells me I can do it. Though I've gotten a lot of feedback that tells me I'm a failure.

 

I had rejected myself more then any girl ever could. You’re doing the same thing right now.

 

Just because it never worked doesn’t mean you give up. It means you go on living your life which includes asking out and trying with girl you like. You don’t worry or get this upset over not having a gf. You claim to have tried and not had it work. The thing is trying means trying day in day out. It doesn’t mean you point to a month ago or years ago how you asked handful of girls out and it didn’t work out.

 

G

Dusty, I agree with 1/3 of your post - that's about how much I read because I had to stop after 30 min.

 

Very inspiring. Oh, you forgot to advise the guys when they approach girl to tell them "I am 45 but I look 35... everybody tells me!"

 

Go back and read the entire thing it will help make getting girl easy and fun if you try.

 

Has somebody given you the "I'm 45 but look 35... everybody tells me!" line?

 

I would recomend not mention age unless some one asks. Then just saying how old you are with out talking about how old you look or people think you look.

 

well a lotta words. Anyhow I would say just making moves on women is the key ingredient to getting girls. Works enough of the time that eventually you'll get a girlfriend, hurray!

 

The words were to inspire and fight the inner dialogue many of these guys have like "where do you find girls" "how do I approach" "they'll think I'm bad/creepy" etc.. etc...

 

Pretty much just get out there and do it now!

 

My frnd says its not working for me 'cause I talk too much. He mostly just grunts & says a couple comments to girls with a smirk & they seem to like it more than a guy that actually likes to talk alot. Girls are getting difficult.

 

Are you making moves? If you just treat it like a job interview yes you are talking to much.

 

Give us an update if you would the entertainment I'll get will be pay back for this thread.

 

A few of my comments, as promised.

 

I didn't lose my virginity until I was well into my 20s. I thought it would be a huge deal but it was not. We did end up in a 2-year relationship. Women really are hornier than men.

 

Anyway, for the guys struggling: I see the Lovable Losers on here who just whine and whimper like lost puppy dogs, hoping that they will meet a girl kind enough to give them a treat every now and then. I feel sad seeing guys so beat down like that. It's also very unattractive.

 

(1) Whenever you go on a date, you need to make a move, and you need to make it soon. Very soon. I'm actually talking right from the very start. I'm not talking date rape (no means no guys, OK?) or anything like that, and you don't want to overdo it either. But you need to let her know with your actions what you are about right away. When you meet her, hug her and then guide her to the destination by putting your hand on the small of her back, caressing it lightly. [Aside: Don't meet the girl right at the location of the date! Let there be a short walk first. The worst thing is that you're sitting down too far for you to smoothly touch her, so you don't, and so her first impressions of you are "platonic"]. During coffee/drinks/dinner (if you insist on doing that sort of thing) take her hand to look at the jewelry on it.

 

Pull your touch away though from time to time, otherwise it will feel all too cheesy. To you too.

 

I've had first kisses happen within 15 minutes of the start of the date. You know how awesome that is? I'm sure there are others who have done far better than I have though, but who cares. This isn't a competition.

 

And yes, I've also gotten the "you're a really nice guy but..." line plenty of times too after the date. That happens more when I didn't take my above advice. If you do make your move early on and she isn't down for it, then pay only if you feel like you want to be a gentleman. Otherwise she isn't into you, so save your money and go Dutch.

 

 

(2) If you're not meeting women, you need to ask yourself why. Are you really trying? Truth be told, some locations are harder to meet women than others. You might be going to grocery store 5 evenings a week and late Saturday mornings (when the honeys like to shop, after work and after their yoga class) but you still might see only one pretty girl a week (or even a month) who doesn't have that bling on the fourth finger of her left hand. Small towns can be like that.

 

If that's your situation, then you do have some serious disadvantages. Because someone who is (perhaps) available and cute is so rare, when you DO see one, you're predisposed to go into approaching her with the attitude of "Now is my big chance!", instead of being more realistic. (You know nothing about her!) This actually makes it a lot more likely that nothing will happen. Also, you might also be out of practice when it comes to talking to people. To this end, you might have to get into the habit of talking and flirting with married women, for "practice".

 

But if you live in a big city, c'mon, you don't have this problem. You will probably see several pretty girls a day who don't have rings on the fourth fingers of their left hands. If you approach half of them and even 10% of those girls like you it's a date a week.

 

 

(3) You don't have to have the best game in the world when you do talk to them. Make some observations about them. Ask them about their day and add some things about yourself that shows that you're a real person. You're getting kale at the grocery store because you want to eat healthier and so you are trying a new recipe. You just came from the gym and set a new PR but your muscles are going to be sore tomorrow, but you're probably not nearly as "bendy" as the yoga chick you're talking to.

 

 

(4) Women don't like a guy who tries too hard too early on. I used to be pretty needy, and this killed my chances. I'd be asking the girl question after question and the conversation never went anywhere/the number she gave me was no good, and so on.

 

 

(5) Women don't want to be your only passion. You have hobbies you are excited about, right? It helps....

 

 

My thoughts for now....

 

I like what you wrote. Here are my thoughts on your thoughts. Once you have sex or in somedudes case get your first gf you realize it doesn't change who you are. You're still the same person. Yes make moves on a date. If you aren’t meeting women really question why and come up with a solution there will be one. You don't need the best game or any game for that matter you could be a grunting tard of a man and you'd probably do great with women if you just approach and made moves. Don't try to hard is kind of confusing, really just be yourself no need to be the girls jester or yes man. Number 5 is hard to articulate but basicly I would say don't put pussy on the pedestal.

[ThaWholigan]

When you actually are talking to girls, you absolutely gotta relax too. Talk slower, best example I can think of is the Bruce Lee interview where he talks about flowing like water, which in itself is a good way to approach life in general. Don't have to sound dead or too serious, but be relaxed and calm. It's not a job interview lol.....

[somedude81]

You have to be in it to win it. As in you can’t get lucky unless you’ve put yourself in a position to do so. A hot girl isn’t just going to magically show up at your front door to seduce you with her body and boos.

 

My point wasn’t that I got lucky my point was I was pretty lame and things just worked out. So stop being the guy who over thinks and worries they won’t know what to say and do and just do your best. My best that night was lame girls easily get turned off by this kind of thing but it all worked out.

That's because you got lucky!

 

It was luck that she accepted the date, luck that while drunk you weren't thinking clearly and she still went for a make out and luck that she wanted to have sex. Then luck that she wanted a relationship after that.

 

The only thing that I can possibly learn from your story is that when I go on a date with a girl, I should get drunk so that I don't worry about my actions and just kiss her. Then it will all work out...

[Dust]

That's because you got lucky!

 

It was luck that she accepted the date, luck that while drunk you weren't thinking clearly and she still went for a make out and luck that she wanted to have sex. Then luck that she wanted a relationship after that.

 

The only thing that I can possibly learn from your story is that when I go on a date with a girl, I should get drunk so that I don't worry about my actions and just kiss her. Then it will all work out...

 

You know better then that. But truthfully it's more then you do now.

[ThaWholigan]

That's because you got lucky!

 

It was luck that she accepted the date, luck that while drunk you weren't thinking clearly and she still went for a make out and luck that she wanted to have sex. Then luck that she wanted a relationship after that.

 

The only thing that I can possibly learn from your story is that when I go on a date with a girl, I should get drunk so that I don't worry about my actions and just kiss her. Then it will all work out...

 

You're looking at it all wrong , you have to be in it to win it. You have to constantly put yourself into positions where you can "get lucky". Luck is such a defeatist term, I prefer to call it "probability". (Yes, I'm a nerd )

[Jynxx]

That's because you got lucky!

 

It was luck that she accepted the date, luck that while drunk you weren't thinking clearly and she still went for a make out and luck that she wanted to have sex. Then luck that she wanted a relationship after that.

 

The only thing that I can possibly learn from your story is that when I go on a date with a girl, I should get drunk so that I don't worry about my actions and just kiss her. Then it will all work out...

 

I wrote a little analysis about that in the other thread. Hell, let me quote myself for once, just because it's the perfect answer to this post as well.

 

If every "date" was cancelled if the woman wasn't 90% sure she'd end up liking her partner enough to have sex with him at some point then most restaurants would be out of business by now.

 

Things are hardly ever black and white for women. It's not like a woman is either interested or not. While we can see within seconds if we're attracted to a female and would like to have sex with her or not, a woman is extremely rarely gonna feel attraction before spending some time with a guy and "getting to know him" at least a little bit. All you can do is take every chance you're offered, no matter how small. There's a reason why "getting lucky" is slang for "having sex".