giving up internet does that mean i am weak?

[todd 2 girlfriend]

my boyfriend todd posted on here a while ago about my addiction to the computer. his concern got me concerned even more and i really tried to limit my use of the computer but was not succesful at all. so i have decided after i finish this project i am working on that i am going to give up the computer use. i have tried so hard to do everything to keep myself off of here but it has been useless and now i feel like such a failure!!! am i a failure if i can't control my own impulses? he says it is okay to get rid of it now, that he will take the lap top to work and just put it away for now. i have cable acess so the puter is always on, even at night though i shut off the screen, all i have to do is wake it up and jump on. i know it is not good but i feel we have some great security protection so i do not worry about that, i worry about the easy acess to it all. but now i just feel like a failure because i can't control my own addiction. i am disappointed in myself and saddened at the same time.

[moimeme]

Addictions are addictions because people can't control them. There are internet addiction sites and groups, if you want to check them out. Here's a good site for starters (yes, I know, it's on the internet)

 

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=66

[Pookette]

If you feel you can't control your addiction, remove the thing that is causing the addiction. Shut off your cable internet access. You don't have to feel like a failure and by closing your access, you won't have the problem. Or even try dialup. Perhaps it would be such a drastic change, you will get frustrated with it and not use it too much? Just my 2c worth.

[todd 2 girlfriend]

that is what i am worried about. do others think i would be weak minded because i can't beat this addiction instead i have to get rid of the source?

it worries me that it has such control over me or that i have no control over it! do i need professional h elp?

or is just getting rid of the source going to be enough to kill the addiction, yet does it make me weak?

[Pyrannaste]

Just wondering, how much time do you spend on the internet daily?

is it an addiction to chatrooms, to surfing funny websites, to forums, to online rpg or to some/all of these things? Are you addicted to surfing/reading stuff online, or to online communication?

 

Could you also please post a link to the post your bf wrote?

 

As for not resisting the temptation of going online, you could either remove the internet access from your pc, or ask anyone who lives with you to put a password on the computer(of course a password you don't know and can not guess!) so before you go online you have to ask them to type the password.

 

Also, you can set for yourself a time limit when you use the internet and ask your bf or anyone who lives with you to tell you go offline(or drag you away from the pc if necessary) once the time limit is passed.

 

I hope you are *not* reading this reply because it would mean you are offline and therefore improving! just kidding

[todd 2 girlfriend]

i was unable to find his post, sorry. you know yesterday i had the day off from work so was home all day except once i left to go to the stores. i spent the whole day in front of this thing, reading emails back and fourth from a friend who lives in new zealand and my sister and my niece who were both at work and we were all emailing each other back and forth. the other things i do on here is things like researching things that i think about. some medical things, we just got two new boston terriers puppies and i have been reading about the breed yes i do not know much about them even with all that reading i have done. there is very l ittle message boards that i go on here, now this one and some pet ones and that is all. i tried so hard yesterday to stay off this thing, i made myself sit on the couch for x amount of time before i could come in here again but then i would get bored and be right back here again. i was literally on here till late in the evening while my boyfriend was out in the yard doing his yard work stuff he enjoys doing that i do not like to do anyway. i play with the puppies then they run off with themselves so i go back on here. i just feel that if i give it up then i am a loser, that it won, that i had no will power to control myself. that is what bothers me about giving it up. my boyfriend is in agreement with me now, since he originally posted and he did not want to completely give it up but now he is ready after i begged him to let it go. but now i feel like a failure, quitter, loser. i am going to get an email station though so i can keep in touch with family. you can only do emails on it and nothing else and i guess it has a light that comes on when you have an email so i wont have to feel compelled to sit and check it hourly, no wait! minutely! hopefully that will be a better alternative. i just wish i did not feel so guilty about giving it up, like giving up on myself.

[Pyrannaste]

i just feel that if i give it up then i am a loser, that it won, that i had no will power to control myself. that is what bothers me about giving it up.

 

I don't think you'd be a loser..... on the contrary, even giving the internet up should make you feel strongwilled. It takes quite a lot of force of will to deliberately put yourself in the position where you won't be able to surf the net.

Also, after some time you are likely not to feel such a strong need to surf the net.

 

I am a smoker. I love cigarettes. Right now I'm trying to reduce them to one a day (and not managing to).

If I ever gave up all the smoking -in *any* way, even if this meant asking my friends to crush all the cigarettes packs I buy or to snatch cigs away from me while I'm lighting them, I'd still be proud of my achievement: no smoking. And it would help me not smoking for a while, no matter what means I used

 

And don't feel like a loser. ever. Not for an internet addiction. Hey! it's *only* an internet addiction! it is stuff that could happen to anyone, and it is great that you have realized it is a problem. It's the *biggest* step and you already did it. You are NOT a loser.

[todd 2 girlfriend]

Pyrannaste, thank you SOOOO MUCH! funny but it seems that i almost needed permission to do this, and that is scary as well, lol.

i just needed some confirmation i guess that by doing so is not a thing i failed at and you have given me hope again.

you have no idea how much your words helped me!

i wish i could offer you some advice on quitting smoking.

i went cold turkey one night right after i was at this ole smokey bar and i could not breath, so i threw my cigs in thr trash o n my way out the door and quit for seven years!

i do not know what got into me one night while with a friend and she encouraged me to try it again for no good reason. so like a dummy i did and that one drag was ALL it too, literally!

i smoked again for another five years after that till news years eve of 1999 i quit again and have been smoke free since. i have no intentions of ever smoking again. all i have to do is remind myself of cancers and lung disease, strokes, getting out of breath going up stairs which i do alot of stairs over the elevators, etc....

your advice was wonderful and the most useful i have ever heard and i want you to know that on your words i am calling comcast tomorrow and letting it go. well i might have to wait a few days yet actually because i am waiting for something on line to clear up first, but then it is outta here!

i will think of it as when i quit smoking and how i needed people who smoked to stay away from smoking around me!

you are great and i so much appreciate your kind words and motivation!

[Pyrannaste]

Thanks a million for your words, but I don't think I said anything special. I'm sure *nobody* on Loveshack would think you are a loser, either, and that tons of people here would have said the same thing. I just happened to be quicker to reply.

Good luck with dealing with your internet problem!