foolishlover Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Long story short...i broke up with my partner a few months back as there were many trust issues. As i would bring them up, he would say that I was being overjealous, paranoid and often at times said i was crazy and needed professional mental help. This got me so confused as I was so sure of my instinct, yet being my first relationship, i couldnt tell if i was in fact just overjealous. Nothing wrong with ur partner suddnely putting a pass code on his phone and secretly messaging? Nothing wrong with catching him messaging someone you never even heard of and then him getting angry at you for catching him out messaging a 'colleague'. In the end, we broke up cause he would flirt with people at clubs in front of me. After a month, he had an accident and had no one to call and I left my bed at 4am to go help him. Turned out he smashed his head cause he was so drunk after partying as a bachleor and exchanging numbers. We got back together and after 2 months, I realised that when we did go out to a club together, he would wander off, chat with other people, exchange numbers and keep in contact with them. I knew nothing of these people and they did not know he was partnered cause he did not disclose it. He would message these people every weekend and there were 3-4 people. He had lied to me about who he was messaging saying it was a colleague, but it was people he met at a club and he was flirting with them as a single man. This went on behind my back for 6 months. 1/4 of the time of our relationship. Once i found out...he didnt even want to try for forgiveness or find a solution. He just told me to deal with it cause its just friends. So pissed right now Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Long story short...i broke up with my partner a few months back as there were many trust issues. As i would bring them up, he would say that I was being overjealous, paranoid and often at times said i was crazy and needed professional mental help. This got me so confused as I was so sure of my instinct, yet being my first relationship, i couldnt tell if i was in fact just overjealous. Nothing wrong with ur partner suddnely putting a pass code on his phone and secretly messaging? Nothing wrong with catching him messaging someone you never even heard of and then him getting angry at you for catching him out messaging a 'colleague'. In the end, we broke up cause he would flirt with people at clubs in front of me. After a month, he had an accident and had no one to call and I left my bed at 4am to go help him. Turned out he smashed his head cause he was so drunk after partying as a bachleor and exchanging numbers. We got back together and after 2 months, I realised that when we did go out to a club together, he would wander off, chat with other people, exchange numbers and keep in contact with them. I knew nothing of these people and they did not know he was partnered cause he did not disclose it. He would message these people every weekend and there were 3-4 people. He had lied to me about who he was messaging saying it was a colleague, but it was people he met at a club and he was flirting with them as a single man. This went on behind my back for 6 months. 1/4 of the time of our relationship. Once i found out...he didnt even want to try for forgiveness or find a solution. He just told me to deal with it cause its just friends. So pissed right now Please leave him. Why would you want to deal with someone like that? No matter what you do, he will not change and he will use his self defense mechanism to try and shift the blame onto you by saying you are crazy, psychotic, etc. Do not start blaming yourself because you did nothing wrong and leave this relationship because you deserve someone who treats you much better. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Wow...this guy sounds like a total a$$! I would be more than pi$$ed right now; I would toss his emotionally abusive a$$ to the curb with no questions asked. Period! I hope you are not going to give him another chance after he has, without a doubt, shown you who he really is? Work on yourself and figure out why you did not take drastic measures after he told you to just deal with it. He is abusive and you deserve much better than that...for sure! Let him be someone else's problem and move onto someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Hopefully you will take this as a lesson and not make the same mistake again. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to do better for ourselves in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolishlover Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 I know. This should be reason enough for me to not look back. Hard thing is he is so good with his words. The first time we got back together, he admitted he was a good manipulator and did that to me a few times. He has been calling and when he does speak to me, I end up feeling its actually not a big deal (though to me it is!!!) I mean, secretly messaging people you met at a club behind your partners back is bad right? I would think that is as bad as cheating. Shouldnt that be a dealbreaker already? I just dont know how to trust him ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Pat99 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Why are you even questioning this? Have some self respect for yourself. I can assure you he doesn't respect you. Link to post Share on other sites
robinatrix Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Me, I would try the good ole giving him a taste of his own medicine. Or leaving him, both of which he deserves.. >__________> Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I mean, secretly messaging people you met at a club behind your partners back is bad right? I would think that is as bad as cheating. Shouldnt that be a dealbreaker already? I just dont know how to trust him ever again. So do you think you cant do better than him? You dont think you can find someone that is actually into you as a person and is trustworthy? I dont know if he is actually fooling around with these women, but for someone reason he feels the need to practice his game on them. Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I just broke up with a girl with serious jealous issues. Tried much longer than I should have. When dating I never asked to see her phone, touch her phone, never asked who's texting her all the time, hey it's none of my business. If she wants to be with me she will be, and if she runs off so be it. The comedy of this one is, she was ALWAYS wanting to use my phone, check my phone, asking who's texting me all the time, etc. I live alone, she lived with Mom, so she was always over my place. Never did she pop in to see me when someone else was around, there WASN'T anyone else. But boy did she argue that one nonstop. The other comedy, we had a split once in our short 6 month relationship, about the middle, and in the week apart she slept with 2 guys, and I slept with nobody. When we were back together, I started getting same **** like "who's calling, who's texting? let me see your phone". Another lesson, people fear in you what they see in themselves. If you ever have someone always accusing you of doing something you know you aren't doing, then they are probably doing that behavior to you, and that's why they get so ridiculous about it. Their own guilty conscience. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Another lesson, people fear in you what they see in themselves. If you ever have someone always accusing you of doing something you know you aren't doing, then they are probably doing that behavior to you, and that's why they get so ridiculous about it. Their own guilty conscience. Yeah.. its called projection. Its a dangerous defense mechanism used in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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