dk546 Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I came home one day to find a stack of disks for our computer on the living room floor. Each disk was marked "pictures" I put them in the computer and there was page after page of porn. Women, men and animals. In with the porn was email's and pictures from "chublete" at a hotmail address. At the time I was very inexperienced with the Internet and thought hotmail was also a porn site. Please don't laugh there are alot of people I have talked to that are not familiar with "hotmail". We have our service from an ISP and had no need of free email...or so I thought ! J my husband did all the work on our computers, he had even built one for our friends. He was very good at hiding his track. I had no interest in computers after working all day especially the Internet, I was devastated to think my husband was not only looking at porn, but emailing someone at those sites. I tried emailing"chublette" myself but never got a response. To make a long story short...chublette was no porn site just the pet name for my husbands mistress. She worked the front desk at his office and had been involved with my husband for over nine months. He also had a "hotmail" address he used to contact her. As I started learning about the Internet and asking questions I found my husband had failed to mention at his work that he was involved with anyone let alone married. He works in a small town about 25 minutes from our home. "chublette" claimed she had no idea I existed .I am finding it nearly impossible to get over this whole mess. In my learning and searching of the Internet I found out he had registered at match.com less than a week ago. I want to leave so badly, but he claims he loves. Can someone who does this really love anyone? Or does he have this warped sense of what love is? Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I'm so sorry. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that you can't make mistakes. That's very hard to understand. Especially when you're the one that has been faithful. I don't know that your husband is still in love with you - but it is definitely possible. If he is, he will apologize, and he will want to do everything he can to save your marriage. I suggest that you get into counseling ASAP. You're going to need it. He needs to stop getting on dating sites if he's serious about this. The people at his workplace need to know that he is married. And he should do everything in his power to make sure you trust him in his work environment - especially since he works with his mistress. That's a terrible situation for you two right now. I know you're upset about the porn, and I think you two need to talk about that as well. Lots of people are comfortable with it being a part of their married sex life, but some aren't. If you aren't, he needs to listen to your concerns. If he agrees to stop viewing it, wonderful. If not, only you can decide if the other aspects of your relationship are enough to make you stay with him. However, whatever you decide about long-term, in the immediate future it would be best for him to get rid of the porn and focus on his relationship with you. His wife. How has your sex life been? Has it even survived all of this? Good luck. Get an appointment for marriage counseling! Communicate! -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I'm sure that you don't want to share your husband. From what you posted, he will always try to fool around behind your back. Yes, it is true that people can change, but the question is 'is he willing to change?'. Counseling is surely a start, but you need to ask yourself if you can deal with the same situation if your husband does the same trick after the counseling is over. Link to post Share on other sites
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