HokeyReligions Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Some of you may remember me - I used to be very active on the board. If you pray, please say a prayer for Hokey's husband. He had a stroke on Sunday and we just found out the news isn't good. The doctors are going to attempt a surgery but because of his recent health problems (over the last 9 months especially) it is a trickey operation and he may not survive the surgery. He wants to come home today to be with me and the dogs for a day or so before the surgery. Hokey is not handling this well. Not well at all. My children died - I survived that because of my husband. My dogs have been dieing off over the last few years - I handled that because I expected to out-live them - I gave them good lives, but it still hurts - especially when cancer took my special baby a year ago and she was only 9 - not ready to die. But, I handled that because I have my husband. My mom (we were very close & she lived with us for nearly 8 years) died - I handled that because I have my husband. I have no one else now - no family and no friends - not one single friend. I've invited a few people over for coffee or whatever. I've tried to go out for fun with a few people - but I have nothing in common with anyone apparently. So I have no one. No one to just sit and have coffee with; or to watch TV with or to listen to me talk about my husband. No one to offer to drive me if I am too emotional to drive to the funeral home. NO ONE! I can NOT handle this. I don't want to - I just want to be with my husband. We are scared I may lose my job, then lose my home. Frankly, all I have to do is put the other two dogs to sleep and then I can join him if and when it comes to that. I am so scared. Please - if you pray, pray for my husband John. It's too soon, far too soon. Thank you & God Bless Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I'm praying for both of you HR! I'll send YOU some positive energy - that you will have the courage and strength to go on... Tell people what you need... Talk to your church group or pastor - neighbors etc... Allow them to understand this is your time of need. Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 ^ what 2sunny said Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Please accept my sympathies and prayers in this difficult time. Within every dark cloud there is a ray of sunshine, of hope. Today is your hope. Tomorrow will be what it will be. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Call the hospital and ask for info about a group for grieving... You will find people there willing to help if you tell them how alone you feel. Call now - get to a meeting ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 When my mom was in a in-patient rehab hospital after her stroke (she was in a coma for a number of days and had to re-learn all her ADL's), there was a clinical social worker who was available to meet with family members in a group setting daily to 'talk'. I participated mostly in the beginning, when I was in shock. Having someone to talk to really helped and I recommend it. You're not alone. Not being privy to the OP's circumstances, I'll just opine that the human body is a pretty amazing organism. During that coma period, I started thinking there would be no goodbyes, funeral to plan, estate to settle, etc....all overwhelming. Turned out she would live another eight years, to almost 90. You never know. Live for today. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 **Hugz** Hokey, Prayers sent.... You both are on my mind, make sure you try to get some sleep thru all this, sleep will help keep your head clear while handling things that come your way. Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I hope the best for you guys! *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I don't know you from before, but I glanced at some of your past posts. You are a woman with a wonderful spirit. I don't understand why a person is handed SO much to deal with. You have had way more loss than could possibly be your share. I can't believe you don't have friends. You must have some friends. Who wouldn't want to be your friend. Please do what you can to connect with others in real life; you really need to not be all alone through this. I am sending all the positive thoughts I can your way. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
knitwit Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I am sending hugs, thoughts, and prayers to you and your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 HR, I am so sorry for all you have had to endure. I will be lifting you and your husband in prayer. I can't know what it is to live with the losses you have, but it seems you are a woman of strength and courage. Hang on to your faith...you can get through this to help your husband heal. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Some of you may remember me - I used to be very active on the board. I remember you, Hokey and I think about you sometimes. I was thinking about you recentlyand wondered how you were doing. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I will pray for him to recover and be able to enjoy life again. I know you will be there for him, as you've always have. I know you've been taking care of him for years as he is in a wheel chair. You're a very selfless woman, Hokey, and I believe in your strength. You will pull your husband out with your love and care, and he will continue to be there for you. You've had so much pain in your life, it's so unfair. He wants to come home today to be with me and the dogs for a day or so before the surgery. In what condition is he right now? You know it's still too soon for him to be his old self, but he may regain all of his functions within a few months. It will be a journey, but people have done it and recovered. I've tried to go out for fun with a few people - but I have nothing in common with anyone apparently. So I have no one. No one to just sit and have coffee with; or to watch TV with or to listen to me talk about my husband. No one to offer to drive me if I am too emotional to drive to the funeral home. NO ONE! I feel for you and understand what you're saying. I too am not too big on making new friends, but there are people out there who are similar to you, or perhaps, not similar but you would enjoy their company. With or without a husband, every woman should have at least one friend who will listen and share her own problems, too. Otherwise, we become too dependent on one person. I can NOT handle this. I don't want to - I just want to be with my husband. We are scared I may lose my job, then lose my home. You won't lose your job or your home. You will find a way to deal with it if it becomes a problem, don't think about it now. What do you do? You're such a caring person, Hokey, and you love dogs, have you ever thought of caring for other people's dogs while they're gone? You could make really good supplemental income. Frankly, all I have to do is put the other two dogs to sleep and then I can join him if and when it comes to that. Oh, don't say that. Everything will be okay. Your husband will live and recover if he decides so. I am so scared. Please - if you pray, pray for my husband John. It's too soon, far too soon. (((((((Big hugs))))))). Don't be scared, Hokey. Have faith. Post here how you're feeling and about your husband's progress. You always have us. I know many of the former regulars are not posting anymore, but some are still here and there are some new wonderful people. Thank you & God Bless God bless you and your husband John. I will pray for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Hugs and hopes for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I'll send prayers for him, and even more for you, Hokey. I'm hoping for things to turn out for the best. I'll be thinking of you. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Wishing the two of you all the best. Please try to take good care of yourself, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Will pray, especially for someone to show up who can provide relevant support and direction at this difficult time. Whatever happens, protect your humour OP. Cry.. but protect that part of your heart. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Hokey..I pray that the Lord will ease your suffering. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Some of you may remember me - I used to be very active on the board. If you pray, please say a prayer for Hokey's husband. He had a stroke on Sunday and we just found out the news isn't good. The doctors are going to attempt a surgery but because of his recent health problems (over the last 9 months especially) it is a trickey operation and he may not survive the surgery. He wants to come home today to be with me and the dogs for a day or so before the surgery. Hokey is not handling this well. Not well at all. My children died - I survived that because of my husband. My dogs have been dieing off over the last few years - I handled that because I expected to out-live them - I gave them good lives, but it still hurts - especially when cancer took my special baby a year ago and she was only 9 - not ready to die. But, I handled that because I have my husband. My mom (we were very close & she lived with us for nearly 8 years) died - I handled that because I have my husband. I have no one else now - no family and no friends - not one single friend. I've invited a few people over for coffee or whatever. I've tried to go out for fun with a few people - but I have nothing in common with anyone apparently. So I have no one. No one to just sit and have coffee with; or to watch TV with or to listen to me talk about my husband. No one to offer to drive me if I am too emotional to drive to the funeral home. NO ONE! I can NOT handle this. I don't want to - I just want to be with my husband. We are scared I may lose my job, then lose my home. Frankly, all I have to do is put the other two dogs to sleep and then I can join him if and when it comes to that. I am so scared. Please - if you pray, pray for my husband John. It's too soon, far too soon. Thank you & God Bless I'm in tears and my heart hurts for you Hokey. You and your husband have all my prayers, good thoughts and energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I'm sorry to hear your husband is so ill, Hokey. I hope his health improves rapidly. You're in my thoughts....please take good care of yourself too. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Prayers for your husband, John and for you! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 How are you today, Hokey? Many hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Hokey, I do remember you from when you were more active on this board. I am so saddened to hear all of this. Your grief is tremendous and palpable and moving and I wish so much that there was something real I could do for you. My best thoughts and wishes are winging out to you and your husband. I hope for so much for you right now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Thinking of you and your husband, hope all went well with his surgery. Please check in soon Hokey. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I am so sorry to hear this news Hoke....prayers and thoughts for you. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 ((Hang on HR. )) Link to post Share on other sites
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