The love of my life..... Is now talking to me.

[hteen]

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Ok, this is my story............ I met the love of my life 2 years ago and we were together for 9 months. And we lived together. He then moved 2 hours away to pursue his studying and 4 days after i was ditched by a txt. We had ups and downs coming up to him leaving and i was wanting to sort everything out between us before he left but he said he couldnt concentrate on me and the move at the same time.

 

Anywayz, we spoke to each other all the time on the phone after the breakup but it was obvious that he was jst doing this to help me let go. I love him so much. I eventually met up with him a few weeks later and i gave him a heartfelt plea to patch things up with him but he looks the other way and says no. I think its because he still loves me but thinks he shouldnt so he has to look the other way to not see me cry.

 

I tried to move on and dated other people but none of them worked out as they wern't him. I sent him a txt saying hi and told him i still have feelings for him but he sent the most evil message back. It was not like him. I tried calling him but he always hungup. I started to think about what he said went wrong and completly blame myself. They were jst little things but because i love him so ive been beating myself up about it.

 

I stopped dating completly as it was unfair of me and myself to date others while i still feel like this. I went through everything that ever happened and saw where he was coming from and what an idiot i had been. I learnt from all my mistakes and have became a better person from it. I decided to give it another shot so i wrote him a poem describing my feelings and sent it to him. He said he has no good feelings for me and was in a relationship anywayz so to leave him alone. Which explained why he turned nasty. I was at my wits end. Eventually i gave up, there was nothing else i could do. I had done more than anyone would ever of done.

 

I had been writing him a letter for the past 2 weeks explaning how i feel, taking the blame for everything that went wrong, what i think i did wrong, what i should of done instead and how i have learnt from it. I thought if he wont talk to me or read or listen to my messages then if i sent a letter chance are he would read it. Even though i had given up i sent it anyway with a professional photo taken of us. I called 2 weeks later when i knew he would be working and left a message on his phone. I didnt mention us but i was shaking the entire message. I was feeling better about myself as i had truly learnt from what i had ever done. Weeks later i ran into his mother. I was expecting a argument but we chatted like old times. Same day and i bumped into his bestfriend. Expecting to be yelled at, it was like old times and chatted away. Seeing them brought back a lot of emotion and now i had fully learnt from us i gave him a call.

 

He answered and i begged him not to hang up and was deeply sorry for everything and all i wanted was to chat. We chatted for 2 hours. Just like old days. It was great. I told him i still love him but to break the silence i added but its my problem and i guess i'll have to deal with it. I know i was lying and he does 2 but it seemed like the right thing to say considering the circumstances. I didnt even expect him to answer. He said i could call back whenever i wanted but as i had learnt from the past i said i'll call in 2 weeks as i didnt want to piss him off by callin everyday. It seemed weird talking to him. To tell truth it sounded like he's turned into how i used to behave and ive turned into how he used to behave. He mentioned he was gonna be in town next month and asked to catch up.

 

Well, thats the story till now........ 6 months since the breakup. Im due to call him int weekend. And he told me where he's staying when he's in town. I know he's seeing someone but doesnt change how i feel. Im thinking of jst hanging with him like we used to as thats how we got together and when the times right i'll tell him i love him. At least he'll know and then the ball is now very much so in his court.

 

What do you all think? Im so nervous about seeing him again. 6 months its taken to get this far. Any feedback?

[DerangedAngel]

Any feedback?

 

I think you are putting yourself in a situation where you will be hurt. Unavoidably.

 

Do be careful.

 

Best wishes.

 

-Deranged

[NatoPMT]

is he still in this other relationship?

[hteen]

Well, it now comes to the final chapter. I called like i was asked to and we chatted for 3 hours. Just like old times. But then we had to say goodbye as the boyfriend had finished work and they were meeting up in town. I panicked and i dont know why i did it but i blurted out "U know, i still love you". I got a "Yes, i know but you know its never gonna happen again. I asked why which responded to a "Because i dont want it to". And was told not talk about it anymore. We said goodbye and that was it.

 

She's in town in 2 weeks and i know if i want to see her i can. But that call has opened up some old wounds. I know she wont try us again as of being afraid of it going horribly wrong like last time. But ive changed and people learn from there mistakes. Im at a loss what to do. Im thinking maybe of jst giving up for now while we r still talking as friends but i know i'll always want more than that. Any suggestions?

 

She's moving to europe at the end of the year for a year to go backpacking as its something she's always wanted to do. I'll still love her wherever she went or lived. Im gonna call tomorrow if i feel i have to, jst to chat for a bit as mates. But when she's in town i really want too see her. Maybe it will be different face to face. The last time i saw her we were together as i got ditched by a txt.

 

Any idea's would be appreciated