I am stopping this drinking today and for good!

[RecordProducer]

I am tired of being depressed, sick, sleepy, embarassing myself, ruining my health and destroying my self-respect. I started drinking when I was a teenager and it was my escape from the monstrous step-father who molested me (not anymore at the time when I started drinking). My mom divorced him many years later when my first husband told her. Life hasn't been sweet to me except when I did some things to make it better. And today, I am choosing to do this one thing to improve myself and my well-being.

 

I've allowed this devil (the alcohol) to take control over my life. I didn't drink every day, but when I did, I drank too much. I am putting a stop to it. I don't want to rely on any programs or therapists. I want to rely on myself and my strong will. Without it, nothing and no one can help me. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but for now all I know is I am not putting another drop of booze in my mouth. No matter what. Yes, I have problems in my life, but I have to stay strong and not resort oself-destruction. I want to know that I did this all by myself.

 

The thing is I am too busy to engage in any new hobbies and activities now. I am graduating in three months, God willing. I work two jobs (total of 27 hours a week) and take 9 credits at school. I spend about 10 hours per week commuting and about 10 hours on average studying and doing homework. I am tired. I need to prepare for the bar exam when school is over. I need to start applying for jobs. So, for now, I will use the busyness as my escape and I will try to relax a lot. When the weather gets a bit warmer I'll start running/fast-walking at least a couple times a week.

 

I will post my progress here to keep myself rewarded and perhaps to give encouragement to people with a similar problem. What I also find helpfulis St. John's Wort. I actually read a post here about it and started taking it. I took it years ago but don'tthink I was taking it regularly. I take 5-6 pills twice a day (supposed to take 2 three times a day). Oh, dropping the booze will also help me lose weight. I look forward to losing 20 lbs.

Edited February 7, 2012 by RecordProducer

[2sunny]

I am tired of being depressed, sick, sleepy, embarassing myself, ruining my health and destroying my self-respect. I started drinking when I was a teenager and it was my escape from the monstrous step-father who molested me (not anymore at the time when I started drinking). My mom divorced him many years later when my first husband told her. Life hasn't been sweet to me except when I did some things to make it better. And today, I am choosing to do this one thing to improve myself and my well-being.

 

I've allowed this devil (the alcohol) to take control over my life. I didn't drink every day, but when I did, I drank too much. I am putting a stop to it. I don't want to rely on any programs or therapists. I want to rely on myself and my strong will. Without it, nothing and no one can help me. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but for now all I know is I am not putting another drop of booze in my mouth. No matter what. Yes, I have problems in my life, but I have to stay strong and not resort oself-destruction. I want to know that I did this all by myself.

 

The thing is I am too busy to engage in any new hobbies and activities now. I am graduating in three months, God willing. I work two jobs (total of 27 hours a week) and take 9 credits at school. I spend about 10 hours per week commuting and about 10 hours on average studying and doing homework. I am tired. I need to prepare for the bar exam when school is over. I need to start applying for jobs. So, for now, I will use the busyness as my escape and I will try to relax a lot. When the weather gets a bit warmer I'll start running/fast-walking at least a couple times a week.

 

I will post my progress here to keep myself rewarded and perhaps to give encouragement to people with a similar problem. What I also find helpfulis St. John's Wort. I actually read a post here about it and started taking it. I took it years ago but don'tthink I was taking it regularly. I take 5-6 pills twice a day (supposed to take 2 three times a day). Oh, dropping the booze will also help me lose weight. I look forward to losing 20 lbs.

 

This is great news RP!

 

I found that AA has helped me... I celebrated 4 years sober last month - one day at a time. :-D

 

Let me know how I can help...

 

Candy helps... As without the alcohol - my body craves that sugar.

 

I have found it so much easier to be happy doing it this way!

[Lil1]

Good for you RP! If you are ready to stop then you can do it! Nobody but you can make this decision. Try to do it on your own first, it may be tough especially if friends try to tempt you, but keep telling yourself that you are doing this for you and keep reminding yourself of all the great things you will accomplish by not drinking. If you find that you are craving a drink then reach out to family and close friends who are supportive of your decision to stop drinking, and of course there are many resources available to help you quit if you need it.

 

I too decided to give up alcohol (just for this year) as an experiment to see how much better my life would be without it, and also to see if I actually could stop. My problem with it is that I binged and would sometimes have black outs. It's been a little over a month now since I stopped (gave it up on January 3rd) and I'm already feeling the improvements to my health! I noticed my skin is looking better (no dark circles under my eyes), I have more energy, I'm more alert and I've lost weight! I've also been saving lots of money!

 

Everyone needs some type of outlet and excercise is a really good way to let off some steam! You'll see how fast you can shed those pounds when you don't have alcohol in your system! I have to be honest though, and tell you that I'm not entirely without bad or harmful habits. Although I have given up alcohol I still smoke pot, mostly on the weekends. I actually think giving up weed would be more of a challenge for me (although ganja has never caused me any harm the way alcohol has)... but that is a discussion for another board!

 

Good luck on meeting your goal to not drink OP! I look forward to seeing your progress!

[RecordProducer]

This is great news RP!

 

I found that AA has helped me... I celebrated 4 years sober last month - one day at a time. :-D

Congratulations, 2sunny!

 

Let me know how I can help...

Aww, thanks. I might recruit you if you insist!

Candy helps... As without the alcohol - my body craves that sugar.

I am not into sweets, but what helps me stop the temptation is when I eat.

 

keep reminding yourself of all the great things you will accomplish by not drinking.

Thanks, I will do that. You, too do it.

 

If you find that you are craving a drink then reach out to family and close friends who are supportive of your decision to stop drinking, and of course there are many resources available to help you quit if you need it.

Maybe I should join a forum? My family and friends don't have this problem and I don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone who hasn't been in my shoes.

I too decided to give up alcohol (just for this year) as an experiment to see how much better my life would be without it, and also to see if I actually could stop. My problem with it is that I binged and would sometimes have black outs.

Good for you. You know your life will be much better. I have blackouts, too and that part is the worst for me: the embarrassment. Well, also the deep depression that comes with binging.

It's been a little over a month now since I stopped (gave it up on January 3rd) and I'm already feeling the improvements to my health! I noticed my skin is looking better (no dark circles under my eyes), I have more energy, I'm more alert and I've lost weight! I've also been saving lots of money!

Congrats! Keep up the good work. This is you working on your well-being. Keep posting here so we can have each other's support. If you feel tempted, come here and post. As one person told me once, "Give me one good reason to drink and I'll drink with you!" At the time he hadn't had a drink in 26 years. He said drinking and drugs ruined his acting career and he ended up as a construction laborer. Drinking and drugs also ruined his marriage and children's psyches as his ex-wife was an addict (he stopped beforfe he got married).

 

My biggest motivation comes fromthe fact that when I drink I have a big problem: everything becomes a problem, I hate myself, I hate my life, I act stupid and mean, I don't get anything done. I have problems without the drinking, so I need to stay sober and strong to deal with them. I also have a lot to achieve in my life and nothing is going to be achieved if I hang out with the bottle. I've tried to quit many times, but this time it has to be the last one. Maybe someday if I am happy and in a lovely relationship, I can have a couple glasses of wine here and there without the risk of binging. But that won't happen anytime soon. For now,I have to deal with this on my own.

 

Everyone needs some type of outlet and excercise is a really good way to let off some steam!

Yes. Music and dancing also lift me up. I am thinking about joining some class, maybe yoga or some kind of dancing, but not in pairs.

You'll see how fast you can shed those pounds when you don't have alcohol in your system!

I know, I've done it before. Alcohol makes me hungry and then I end up eating a lot and going to bed right after.

 

I have to be honest though, and tell you that I'm not entirely without bad or harmful habits. Although I have given up alcohol I still smoke pot, mostly on the weekends. I actually think giving up weed would be more of a challenge for me (although ganja has never caused me any harm the way alcohol has)... but that is a discussion for another board!

Can you keep it going only on the weekends? Do you smoke with friends? The thing with MJ is it doesn't give you depression and hangover the next day, it doesn't damage your health as much, and you don't smoke outside, so no chance to make a fool out of yourself in front of people who are sober. You can still get a DUI charge, though, or much worse.

 

Good luck on meeting your goal to not drink OP! I look forward to seeing your progress!

Thanks and ditto! Edited February 8, 2012 by RecordProducer

[Feelin Frisky]

I wish you total success and all the best. I can identify with you on wanting to avoid the "programs" and "therapists" because they really didn't work for me and actually caused some worsening of my issues by forcing me to put "noise" into my head and gut that made me want relief from that through substance. But one thing is true for everyone--we are not machines that are 100% objective all the time and able and ready to apply rational sense. We grow tired, we grow irritable, a hard time sleeping with a tough schedule the next day can effect your feelings and make that long term outlook of sobriety and growth kind of elusive. That's why I suggest that you see a psychiatrist--not a psychologist who wants to just talk about things on their schedule, but a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor concerned with the physiology of your mind. St. John's wort is a form of self-medication in which you are using an herb that does a lot of things to a lot of systems and may or may not address the issue in your chemical make-up that allows you to learn your best self, treasure that self, and preserve the strength of that self by avoiding alcohol or other substances that appeal to your pleasure drive sometimes at the trade-in of priorities. It can not hurt and there are many highly effective and specific medications that can help you sort yourself out sustainably. And a psychiatrist is not some quack with a couch who just digs for reasons to blame your parents. He or she is a physician and looks at your emotions and intellect as a system that is either in good function or in some measure of dysfunction. Again, absolute best of luck in your efforts and don't give up. I hope to see you follow up on this thread and share some of your milestones.

[Art_Critic]

Hi RP... This is good news and congrats on having the desire to stop.

Giving it up for good and for all is a very healthy outlook..

 

This coming June 28th will be my 25th year of continued sobriety.(I thin I counted right)

If you need me.. you know where to find me

 

I am not into sweets, but what helps me stop the temptation is when I eat.

 

You might be into sweets more than you know.. My sugar craving began the day I quit and have never stopped.. hence my Dove Dark Addiction

[RecordProducer]

I wish you total success and all the best.

Thanks, FF.

 

I can identify with you on wanting to avoid the "programs" and "therapists" because they really didn't work for me and actually caused some worsening of my issues by forcing me to put "noise" into my head and gut that made me want relief from that through substance.

Were you able to help yourself/stay clean?

 

But one thing is true for everyone--we are not machines that are 100% objective all the time and able and ready to apply rational sense. We grow tired, we grow irritable, a hard time sleeping with a tough schedule the next day can effect your feelings and make that long term outlook of sobriety and growth kind of elusive.

This is true, and probably the biggest inhibitor in staying sober. I just feel like I want to be own hero, for now. Also, I am reluctant about leaving any records on my issues, at least until I get admitted to the bar. Maybe I can see a therapist when I've been sober for at least a few months, in which case it will be a past problem and doesn't even need to be discussed.

That's why I suggest that you see a psychiatrist--not a psychologist who wants to just talk about things on their schedule, but a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor concerned with the physiology of your mind.

You know, with today's shrinks immediately finding a bunch of disoreders and prescribing meds, I am afraid to go an be diagnosed with something. I don't think I have any mental illness, but I don't want anyone labeling me in ANY manner just because I have emotional/psychological issues.

 

St. John's wort is a form of self-medication in which you are using an herb that does a lot of things to a lot of systems and may or may not address the issue in your chemical make-up that allows you to learn your best self, treasure that self, and preserve the strength of that self by avoiding alcohol or other substances that appeal to your pleasure drive sometimes at the trade-in of priorities.

Yes, I need to find happiness in order to find stability (that's the way I am). Meanwhile, I will do my best to stay on track and take care of improving my well-being. Regarding St. John's Wort, it lifts my mood in a healthy way (it's not a high or an artificial feeling). I am taking it for my depression because I don't want to take anti-depressants. Nor can I afford to have a short-memory loss because if ADs when I need my brain to graduate, pass the bar and do my job.

Again, absolute best of luck in your efforts and don't give up. I hope to see you follow up on this thread and share some of your milestones.

Every time I quit, after a few weeks I felt like I never had a drinking problem. So, I can't wait to reach 3 months or so and look back with pride.

[johan]

It's probably for the best, RP. But I admit to being a little bummed, because I know I'm better looking when you drink.

[RecordProducer]

It's probably for the best, RP. But I admit to being a little bummed, because I know I'm better looking when you drink.

Hahah! You look like a pussy to me. Hiding behind a fence.

I've never seen your picture, do you know that?

Geez,we've been on this forum forever: me 6 years and you 8 years! I miss the old regulars. I just don't miss Outcast!

[RecordProducer]

Hi RP... This is good news and congrats on having the desire to stop.

Giving it up for good and for all is a very healthy outlook..

Thanks, Arty.

 

This coming June 28th will be my 25th year of continued sobriety.(I thin I counted right)

Congrats! Did you quit as soon as you decided to or did it take a few attempts before you finally gave up? What helped you stay strong and sober? Did it get easier with time? Do you ever get tempted? Were you tempted if you were depressed or did you never feel depressed after quitting? Also, how do you deal with the fact that everyone around you drinks? Do you ever go to bars? Do you serve alcohol to your guests?

 

If you need me.. you know where to find me

I will need you. My biggest fear is that I may start drinking again. I've been determined before and thought I'd never drink again; I was so happy to be sober for months and the thought of starting again freaked me out. I always went back to it because I missed the high or was feeling self-destructive or school mates drank around me. How didyou dealwith those?

 

You might be into sweets more than you know.. My sugar craving began the day I quit and have never stopped.. hence my Dove Dark Addiction

I've stopped for a few weeks or months at a time before, but never craved sweets.

[denise_xo]

Good luck, RP. I cut out alcohol several years ago after it was starting to control me and it's definitely one of the best decisions of my life. Very liberating, enjoy it

[Art_Critic]

Congrats! Did you quit as soon as you decided to or did it take a few attempts before you finally gave up? What helped you stay strong and sober? Did it get easier with time? Do you ever get tempted? Were you tempted if you were depressed or did you never feel depressed after quitting? Also, how do you deal with the fact that everyone around you drinks? Do you ever go to bars? Do you serve alcohol to your guests?

I will need you. My biggest fear is that I may start drinking again. I've been determined before and thought I'd never drink again; I was so happy to be sober for months and the thought of starting again freaked me out. I always went back to it because I missed the high or was feeling self-destructive or school mates drank around me. How didyou dealwith those?

 

When I gave it up I was done.. I did however try for about a year going to meetings before I finally "got it".

During my drinking career I had ruined an engagement with a girl I had lived with for about 4 years prior and I had turned my family against me.

Thru sobriety I learned why I drank.. running away from a poor relationship with my then deceased father and I was able to make my amends to the family I had hurt with my drinking and moved on from the broken engagement relationship.

 

Once I put it down I never had any cravings and was running on fear of the drink for about 2 years, then was when I had to really look at who I was and deal with myself.

 

I do serve Alcohol to friends, my wife has the very occasional drink and many of my family members drink around me and NO it doesn't bother me in the least.. simply because I have no desire to drink again.. day by day of course..

 

If being around it bothered me that would be a sign to me that I wanted to drink and you can bet I'd be calling up my sponsor and hitting my knees.

 

I have had family "test" me by offering me drinks at family gatherings.. of course I was hurt but it was their ignorance about Alcoholism that was at fault and I can assure you they went to some Alanon meetings to understand a bit better the the trials of what I was dealing with.

 

I've never been tempted to drink again..day by day.. today I don't want a drink and hopefully with the grace of my higher power tomorrow when I wake up I will repeat today.

 

It isn't something to be embarrassed about RP.. Quitting is something to be proud of.

 

As far as what helped me stay sober.. meetings in AA, a sponsor that was very wise to my denial, diet and the continued belief that I didn't want to go back to that hell I had put myself in for many years.

Thru AA and my sponsor I "got" tools to help me deal with what I was feeling at the time that normally would have made me drink.. instead I went out and ran.. or went to a meeting, called my family, I did stay out of bars for about a year or so.. there was no reason to tempt fate that early... today it doesn't matter where I go there is Alcohol and I just order water or a coke.

 

I made sure that I started taking vitamins and eating right.. Alcohol had become my main food staple so when I removed it I needed good healthy nourishment.

 

Sorry if I jumped around a bunch..I hoped it helped.. I'm at work and was putting this down as my thoughts came to me.

 

 

I do feel as though you need a support network of somebody to help you thru the times you might go back to drinking..

I don't push or advocate AA but realize the power of staying sober that it can provide..

Make sure you line up your friends, coworkers or family so you can "just go out and talk" for 30 mins with them if you need them.. or go to a local AA meeting in your area and just sit in the back of the room...

 

Edited February 8, 2012 by Art_Critic

[Ross MwcFan]

Good for you RP.

 

I'm going to try and cut down a lot on the amount of booze I drink myself, as whenever I drink a lot, latey it's just been making me feel more depressed, and I'll kinda feel a bit more depressed the next day too.

[Eve]

Lol, alcohol is liquid fat. You are right, you don't need it. One exercise I have found helpful is to trace right back to who first gave you (whatever it a person wants to leave behind). It is very telling as it usually is subtley connected with an esteemed personality trait. Often there is little recognition that the person has achieved this personality trait or state of mind despite whatever addiction. Ok, I know you don't want to get too psychological but for me looking back at who I was with during past 'situations' really helped. I did this on my own. I kind of took it as an opportunity to give the person back their 'gift' as really it had turned into a crap gift. But that worked for me..

 

So, I am happy for you and your new outlook. Yeah, it is better to keep things real and have ventures that you do to relax which actually do what they are supposed to do!!!!!

 

Hope you meet some interesting types at yoga etc. Don't be embarrassed by the involuntary farts when in certain positions..

 

Be good to yourself Darling!

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited February 8, 2012 by Eve

[Feelin Frisky]

Thanks, FF.

 

Were you able to help yourself/stay clean?

 

This is true, and probably the biggest inhibitor in staying sober. I just feel like I want to be own hero, for now. Also, I am reluctant about leaving any records on my issues, at least until I get admitted to the bar. Maybe I can see a therapist when I've been sober for at least a few months, in which case it will be a past problem and doesn't even need to be discussed.

You know, with today's shrinks immediately finding a bunch of disoreders and prescribing meds, I am afraid to go an be diagnosed with something. I don't think I have any mental illness, but I don't want anyone labeling me in ANY manner just because I have emotional/psychological issues.

 

Yes, I need to find happiness in order to find stability (that's the way I am). Meanwhile, I will do my best to stay on track and take care of improving my well-being. Regarding St. John's Wort, it lifts my mood in a healthy way (it's not a high or an artificial feeling). I am taking it for my depression because I don't want to take anti-depressants. Nor can I afford to have a short-memory loss because if ADs when I need my brain to graduate, pass the bar and do my job.

Every time I quit, after a few weeks I felt like I never had a drinking problem. So, I can't wait to reach 3 months or so and look back with pride.

 

Thank you very much for responding to my post point by point. To your first question, my experiences were many in therapy and 12 steps and knowing when some are causing more angst than helping and then making a change or pulling out helped me from not having so much of my life be about this one issue of sobriety. It's always up to the individual to make the better choice when it comes to using his or her substance of choice and I found that I just could never call anyone and have them talk me out of something I felt I was going to do. In truth, I think you have to busy yourself with healthy things that call for your presence and you need to keep putting in best efforts. This new healthier life should be decidedly avoiding of people who think everything calls for some kind of self-indulgent celebration. Luckily, today more than ever, people have learned that drinking and being high are not "cool" and more often fodder for gossip than any kind of envy or admiration for how much you can put away and still be on your feet.

 

Your comments about anti-depressants set off some worry bells in me. There is a great deal of misinformation, bias, and dangerously out-dated belief regarding medications that help people find their best emotional selves these days. There are serious privacy laws and it is not typical to be "labelled" with a "mental illness" simply for having seen a psychiatrist and experimented with the newer medications that do not sedate but instead help one achieve a clarity in which they can begin to chose their feelings rather than be bowled over by them with excessive releases of fight or flight adrenaline and such. There is a reversal in fact--it is and should now be seen as a measure of "mental wellness" to take whatever steps one needs to bring out and sustain that best self. There are only fools who look at today's medicines through yesterday's eyes when indeed medicine used to be a blanket that just tamped down symptoms after the release of a flood of uncomfortable chemicals into the gut and psyche. But now the model is to work upstream from that before the brain reacts or over-reacts and gives a person just that precious moment of pause to decide how much to feel or what to feel or how to act. This is how it has worked for me and I'd be a lot worse for wear if I had not chosen to learn about and work with physicians to improve the physiology of my emotions. I hope you won't cut yourself out of what could be a solution to save you time if not your life in total based upon what popular misinformation. No medication passes FDA approval to invent a disease. These things are all meticulously tested for real problems and produce results for many people. Good luck again.

Edited February 8, 2012 by Feelin Frisky

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm here for you if you need me! I just celebrated 24 years clean & sober on January 4. I did need help - 12 step programs provided it for me.

 

I am not saying they're the only way. I am just encouraging you to always be open minded about accepting some kind of help IN CASE you find you need it.

 

Be good to yourself!

[cerridwen]

Fantastic undertaking, RecordProducer.

It's a tough thing to beat but I sense a greater toughness in you.

You'll do it.

[2sunny]

I could respond by saying that I could write exactly what Art wrote to you!

 

Although the first time I quit - my self will lasted 6 months without a drink.

 

Once I returned to drinking - it got REAL scrary - and it nearly killed me!

 

I've been sober four years - I've sponsored nearly 45 people. I was the one that they thought would never make it... But I was determined to rely on my higher power... And help others. I have many very dear friends I've met.

 

I also did counseling from a top notched trauma counselor - as I needed to find the reason I drank. I allowed so many things that I never should have allowed. I never spoke my truth in my drinking days... And I never had a voice - I had to change all of that!

 

You see RP - I was in a very emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years... I took all kinds of crap from him that I never should have allowed!

 

My story is so much bigger than these few words here- butmIF you decide to go to an AA meeting - you might meet someone - or a bunch of people that totally understand you - and you understand them.

 

Either way - you have taken the first step in getting a better life. You have admitted you have a problem with alcohol - surrender to that! Surrender doesn't mean "to quit or to lose" it simply means to "cease fighting". ;-D

 

In the step work - I learned MANY things about how to be the best "me" I could be. As I learned these things - and let go of my past - I lost my "desire to drink" and that desire to cover up my feelings. Having a voice and speaking my truth is key... I even practice that here- on this forum. It's very freeing!

 

I love you RP and always wish you the best - you deserve that!

 

Let me know how I can be helpful. Xo

 

Remember to only DO TODAY - do your best for today... It's much more manageable that way - and TODAY is the only day we have.

 

I read a book that helped me a ton - the four agreements - by don Miguel Ruiz. It's a quick read but helped me change my life... They gave me that book in rehab. Yep, I went to rehab - my drinking caused my stroke. Depression does go away (usually) without any medicine required - if you stay away from alcohol = alcohol is a depressant.

 

Life - for me - has gotten amazing! I wish everyone could have the experience I've had in being sober - it really has been awesome!

[oldguy]

I don't want to rely on any programs or therapists. I want to rely on myself and my strong will. Without it, nothing and no one can help me.

 

Good for you. Therapists & programs are helpful but can't do a thing for you until you decide you want to make a change, so congratulations.

[RecordProducer]

Sorry if I jumped around a bunch..I hoped it helped.. I'm at work and was putting this down as my thoughts came to me.

Thanks for the long and helpful response, Arty. I know your posts are usually short, so this is a treat. Your story is very inspiring.

 

whenever I drink a lot, latey it's just been making me feel more depressed, and I'll kinda feel a bit more depressed the next day too.

It's totally due to the booze. Major, major depressant.

 

Lol, alcohol is liquid fat. You are right, you don't need it.

That's being too kind to that devil! "Liquid fat that you don't need" is something like a chocolate milk shake. This is Satan's potion. God created people and said "Look at these beautiful, caring, intelligent creatures!" And then Satan said "I'll make them ugly, disgusting, and dumb by giving them this drink - drink, my kids, drink!"

 

One exercise I have found helpful is to trace right back to who first gave you (whatever it a person wants to leave behind). It is very telling as it usually is subtley connected with an esteemed personality trait. Often there is little recognition that the person has achieved this personality trait or state of mind despite whatever addiction. Ok, I know you don't want to get too psychological but for me looking back at who I was with during past 'situations' really helped. I did this on my own. I kind of took it as an opportunity to give the person back their 'gift' as really it had turned into a crap gift. But that worked for me..

I am not understanding this. Can you please explain? Did you too have a drinking problem?

 

It's always up to the individual to make the better choice when it comes to using his or her substance of choice and I found that I just could never call anyone and have them talk me out of something I felt I was going to do. In truth, I think you have to busy yourself with healthy things that call for your presence and you need to keep putting in best efforts. This new healthier life should be decidedly avoiding of people who think everything calls for some kind of self-indulgent celebration.

Totally agree with this.

 

There are serious privacy laws

The privacy laws are not worth the paper they're written on. Many doors won't open for you unless you agree to release information that those laws allegedly protect. All they really protect you from is that your neighbor can't call your doc and ask "Is Johny smoking crack?"

The military, the FAA, life/health insurance companies, all licensing boards, courts in some cases... they can all tell you "Dude, either sign a release or go f*** yourself." They work analogously to a father telling his daughter "Honey, you can write your diary in privacy, but when I ask you to let me read it, if you say NO, pack your bags immediately and leave my house."

There is a reversal in fact--it is and should now be seen as a measure of "mental wellness" to take whatever steps one needs to bring out and sustain that best self.

And people will agree with you, but they won't want you in their club! There's still a huge stigma about psychological disorders and a history of substance abuse. The worst part is that the insensitive sociopaths who never look within and who have other addictions and weaknesses are the loudest ones to label us. It's "the toughest survive" world and we gotta beand stay tough or people will run over you. People will use your weaknesses against you if you let them. And you can't always surround yourself with members of your fan club. Not in your professional circles.

 

No medication passes FDA approval to invent a disease. These things are all meticulously tested for real problems and produce results for many people. Good luck again.

FF, I know way too much about how FDA works to trust their thumb-up about any medication. Their philosophy is what doesn't kill you... we'll approve, just put all the warnings. The law on prescription drugs say all prescription drugs are inherently dangerous, so all we care about is that you put all the warnings there. They are pure poison (in small doses) and should be viewed and injested as such: only if absolutely necessary. And, you know who does the meticulous testing? The pharmaceutical companies, the richest industry in the US. The FDA only reviews the results, which is a million pages of paperwork. The FDA can't expend tax-payers' money on research - pharma companies are in a better to do the clinical trials, they have the resources, the profit motivation, the patents... The results are rarely accurate because they don't know of all the side effects when they do the clinical trials. You find out about them years later when a bunch of people get all kinds of diseases. Drugs can have both good and bad side effects that are discovered much later. An example of a good side effect is Viagra: it didn't do anything for what it was made for but it made men get hard. This is when meds start getting prescribed off-label, and it takes the FDA years to approve the accidentally discovered benefit. But it happens all the time.

 

Placing your life in FDA's hands is a dangerous business. It's not because the FDA sucks as an agency. It's because many social interests need to be balanced. The legislators (as well as courts and the society) are happier with saving 50,000 lives minus the 5,000 who will die from the medication, minus the shortened lives of 20,000 out of those 50,000 (I am making these figures up for illustration purposes). It's a mathematical equasion. The only drugs that end up litigated are the bullsh*t drugs like anti-depressants, birth control pills, denture adhesion creams, and the like. These are things that aren't really necessary. The math figures say: 6 people will commit suicide without Cymbalta - with Cymbalta 60,000 people will get disease X. And the FDA tells the manufacturer "Okay, add disease X to the side effect list." And the shyt goes back on TV, advertising happy families having a picnic because mommy took the anti-depressant. That's how the magic world of prescription meds works.

Edited February 9, 2012 by RecordProducer

[RecordProducer]

I'm here for you if you need me! I just celebrated 24 years clean & sober on January 4. I did need help - 12 step programs provided it for me.

I am not saying they're the only way. I am just encouraging you to always be open minded about accepting some kind of help IN CASE you find you need it.

Wow, 24 years. Well, me too 24, but hours!

 

I must brag, today I was offered a glass of wine and I said "No, thanks."

Be good to yourself!

It's about freakkin' time!

Fantastic undertaking, RecordProducer.

It's a tough thing to beat but I sense a greater toughness in you.

You'll do it.

If I can do this, it will be the toughest I will ever have been. All my other successes have come with some ups and downs; sometimes I'd slack, sometimes I'd give too much; at times I'd lose faith, at times I'd have hopes against all odds. But, this time I need to be stable and have discipline. I don't have much self-control, so I know it's going to be a challenge.

 

I love you RP and always wish you the best - you deserve that!

 

I read a book that helped me a ton - the four agreements - by don Miguel Ruiz.

I read that book a few years ago, but it didn't do much for me. I appreciate his philosophy and think it's a good base to build on, though, but a bit naive and over-simplified for my taste.

Good for you. Therapists & programs are helpful but can't do a thing for you until you decide you want to make a change, so congratulations.

Thank you!

[Eve]

RP, I have passed in and out of stages of drinking too much... but nothing serious. I am too vain to ruin my body. It doesn't matter what I meant. Glad you are summoning support from peers who can help you with this issue. Listen if they say to get extra help.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[RecordProducer]

RP, I have passed in and out of stages of drinking too much... but nothing serious. I am too vain to ruin my body. It doesn't matter what I meant. Glad you are summoning support from peers who can help you with this issue. Listen if they say to get extra help.

By peers you mean LS members? Because I am not getting any other help elsewhere.

[Dust]

There goes my dreams of getting Recordproducer drunk and having my ways with her. I guess I'll just have to have my way with her sober if ever given the chance.

[RecordProducer]

Two days.

 

I feel a bit ridiculous because I didn't really drink every day, but I had many days when I did drink every day. Posting here helps me keep myself in check. I want you guys to be proud of me someday.