Mme. Chaucer Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Good day … still fighting the good fight! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 15, 2012 Author Share Posted February 15, 2012 ... and going to sleep. Thanks sooooooooo much for posting in this thread, guys. You're amazing help and motivation, all-o'-ya. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 Glad to see you're going to rest. For any people - sleep is difficult in the beginning. Eat well, take vitamins, drink vitamin water and if you have time exercise a lot to help you rest easier... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thanks, Sunny. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Are you able to sleep RP? That includes sleeping at night and productive during the day... Looks like you are absent during the day and then post here until 2 or 3am your time... When are you resting? What are you changing? If nothing changes = expect nothing to change. I want you to find a way to be happy being sober - it is possible! But there is much work to do to get there! First off - you may need to consider detox IF you find you can't stop on your own. Nothing wrong with seeking the help that you need. There's a lot to admire about it actually. It takes courage and strength! Help from others only goes so far... Self will only goes so far... What's your latest update? What have your days consisted of? Hoping you will share here - some of what you are doing - we can only help if we can see what you MAY be able to change to make it better. Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Are you able to sleep RP? That includes sleeping at night and productive during the day... I am a normal person when I don't drink. I don't even think about it anymore. Yes, I can sleep and eat normally. I need more sleep though. Looks like you are absent during the day and then post here until 2 or 3am your time... When are you resting? I am at school or work all day except for weekends when I see my kids, do homework, and rest. What are you changing? If nothing changes = expect nothing to change. I don't need to change, I need to connect with "me" without the booze. It's all in our minds. Otherwise, I am eating healthy, have lost some weight already; I got a puppy, I am very busy. I want you to find a way to be happy being sober - it is possible! But there is much work to do to get there! I was never happy when I was drinking. I feel much, much better when I am sober. Happiness is not the problem. I just need to never get into a self-destructive mode again and of course, discipline and a good attitude help. I got a 4.5 month old puppy Annie. She's such a good girl and so smart. I'll post a picture of her soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 19, 2012 Author Share Posted February 19, 2012 Funny, it feels like it's been a couple months. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 I want you guys to be proud of me someday girl, don't you realize how inspirational you are? Just by surviving and tackling head-on life the way you have, only to see your dream through to becoming a lawyer is nothing short of incredible, and I'm incredibly proud of you. Every time I see you on here, there's something new you've conquered that you share, which is not something many people are able to do. So don't sell yourself short ~ some young woman is going to find your posts or meet you IRL and say, "this woman is a survivor, and she's got some brass balls, and I want to be her when I grow up!"Awww, Quan, just saw your post. You're so sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words. While I was away from LS due to school obligations, I often thought of the virtual love you've given me throughout the years and sometimes it gave me the little bit of strength that I needed to survive. Your kindness is incredible. I wish you lived next door. very excited that you're so close to finishing up your studies, it seems like you only just started talking about law school have you chosen what specialty you want to pursue? I will probably start in civil litigation (personal injury, product liability, and the like), but I don't know where life will lead me and I will let it lead me. Some things are just better left unplanned. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Hey RP, Just saw this thread. Congrats to you! Very awesome that you are achieving your dreams Link to post Share on other sites
Dream_Theater Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Congrats, I hope it goes well for you. In the past year or two I've only had maybe ten drinks total, and now I'm fully abstinent (can't drink due to meds I'm on, but wouldn't even if I could). I just love being sober, I hate being drunk and the feeling of losing control, I despise hangovers. I lost my mum to alcoholism December 2010 and it opened my eyes to the truth of how dangerous alcohol is and what it can do to some people. I then spent six months last year volunteering in the rehab unit of a prison which was another eye opener. I hope you manage to stay sober. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 Thanks, TheFinalWord and thanks Dream_Theater for sharing your sad story. I am so sorry about your mom. I just found out today that I lost my dad, he died of stroke yesterday. Never smoked or drank. He was only 67 and was a healthy man. We were so close, he was my best friend. He lived 5,000 miles away and I haven't seen himin 6 years. It just occurred to me that my mother (who lives with me in the US) emailed him back and forth. I asked her today to forward all emails to me and she said "Those were our conversations." I said I wanted to have them regardless and she said "in a few days." I bet she is going to delete some of the emails. She must have worried the heck out of him cuz she's capable of it. He probably had a stroke because of her and what she ws telling him. He didn't even live to find out that I stopped drinking. He didn't live to see me graduate and become a lawyer. Oh, Daddy, wherever you are, just know that I stopped - and just for you I will never be drunk again. I love you so much and I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
Dream_Theater Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Oh, I don't know you, but I am so, so sorry to hear about your Dad and what you must be going through right now. It has been about 15 months since my mum died after a horrible 2-3 year battle with alcoholism and I miss her more and cry way more these days than I even did at first. Grief and bereavement is an awful journey and I hope you get the help that you'll need to keep afloat throughout this. My thoughts are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Seneca Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ❤ Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 (edited) Your words are very helpful. I never knew that in a moment like this, any sympathy from anyone is so comforting. Thank you, guys. Oh, I don't know you, but I am so, so sorry to hear about your Dad and what you must be going through right now. It has been about 15 months since my mum died after a horrible 2-3 year battle with alcoholism and I miss her more and cry way more these days than I even did at first. Grief and bereavement is an awful journey and I hope you get the help that you'll need to keep afloat throughout this. My thoughts are with you.I am sorry you feel so sad these days. It's still too soon for you. Feel free to share your feelings here. I could've gotten drunk but I know my dad wouldn't want me to. He believed in me and I will honor his love by being what he wanted me to be: a happy person who takes care of herself and her life. I had him for 36 wonderful years and I am so thankful for that. He could've lived another 20 years, though. By the way, I was wrong, my mom didn't upset him in any way. She was very upset about his death herself and cried because they were friends and she feels sorry for my pain, as well. Besides, if he worried, he would've told me something. In his last email he just told me he was happy about me finishing law school and doing well at work, and that the love problems shall pass too. So, he knew I was more or less fine. He died of a heart attack, not a stroke, and when that happens, usually the heart has gotten gradually damaged for many years. I am happy it's not an accident or a violent death. Sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ❤Thanks very much, Seneca. Edited February 22, 2012 by RecordProducer Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Hi RP.. Hugs... Keep up the strength.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 ............. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Great Job !!!.... Keep on Keeping on RP.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 Well, I had a relapse last night. I actually planned on having a couple drinks on a first date. But I am kinda glad I did, because I learned a lesson: it will nevef be just a couple. As the old saying goes: one is enough, two are too many, and three are not enough. There's also a saying "one can drink too much, but one can neer drink enough." I didn't get drunk, I was drinking Merlot slowly and around 1 am, I actually suggested to drive because I was pretty sober and my date didn't seem so. But then I had two more at another bar and I was a bit drunk. Nothing embarassing happened, but I also realized that I have to date someone who doesn't drink. E.g. my dad would never orderan alcoholic beverage on a date even though he loved wine. But wine was for a special occasion, at a dinner table with family or friends. Same with my ex. Since people like that exists, I need one of those. I am so glad I realized that I should discard as a potential partner anyone who drinks "recreationally." Last night's date drinks every day after work, and that's apparently no good company for me. I can't be tempted toput my guard down - and I also can't deal with drunk people's BS. So, I learned my lesson. No more. Can I continue counting or do I have to start from day one again after the relapse? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Can I continue counting or do I have to start from day one again after the relapse? Just deduct one day Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Start counting again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 Start counting again. Just deduct one day I prefer this one. Seriously. It's less discouraging because it takes into account the fact that I didn't drink for 15 days. So, 15 days still and again. After all, the label doesn't matter. If somebody didn't drink for 5 years but they had 5 relapses that lasted one night each, you can't say they didn't do a good job. I mean they're not in the same basket as someone who stopped two weeks ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 All that is required RP is the desire to quit drinking. Learn from your relapse and go from there. Day 1 is the new beginning of a better awakening. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Thank you for sharing about your relapse. I know you are headed in the right direction, in spite of it. If you were not, I don't think you would have posted about it here. Carry on! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Hugs RP - if you are honest - start with day 1 - assuming you didn't drink today. Just do today... It may help to look up the definition of sober. For me - I don't do anything that "alters" my mental state. No drinks, no drugs, no pills... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted February 26, 2012 Author Share Posted February 26, 2012 All that is required RP is the desire to quit drinking.So true! A desire. I prefer though the term "not to drink" rather than "quit drinking" because it symbolizes an everyday healthy choice to be sober, and not a one-time decision to quit. It's future-oriented. You quit your job and you're done with it for good. Quitting drinking is far from being done with the problem because the problem is in making the right decision every day. So, instead of counting the past days, I will focus on the present day and just post "not drinking" (today/this past week, etc.). Thank you for sharing about your relapse. I know you are headed in the right direction, in spite of it. If you were not, I don't think you would have posted about it here. Carry on!Thanks for the encouragement. I will. Hugs RP - if you are honest - start with day 1 - assuming you didn't drink today. Just do today... It may help to look up the definition of sober. For me - I don't do anything that "alters" my mental state. No drinks, no drugs, no pills...Thanks, Sunny. I don't do drugs or pills either. I did St. John's Wort while I was drinking, but that's not mind alterring. Link to post Share on other sites
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