I am stopping this drinking today and for good!

[2sunny]

RP - do you have he big book of alcoholics anonymous? It may give you some good info to work from. That book saved my life!

 

The relapse - I call it "collecting more evidence" that shows that it's best not to drink alcohol anymore - or at least just for today.

 

IF I had to think about doing this for the rest of my life - I would bet overwhelmed and probably just drink right now! So I think it's a more manageable thought to just stay in "today" - and I just do my best for today.

 

We learn from experiences like what you did. I totally understand that thought "I want one but I can never stop after one". Hence, evidence that I can't "control" my drinking. IF I COULD control it - it wouldn't be a problem! Ahahaha

 

The fact that I couldn't control it showed me that I needed to change things. In my life EVERYTHING needed to change!

 

I don't miss it now - as everything has changed, for the better! ;-)

 

But I will say - in the beginning I missed it a lot - until I created a new life and got used to not having it. I did learn what it was like to be happy!

 

I'm sorry about your Dad... Those traumas certainly do trigger a drinker to drink more. Good reason to throw a pity party always made me drink more.

 

I cleared away my anger (as instructed in the big book) and without my anger - I no longer find reason to drink or to cover up my pain. I can "feel" things more clearly now - and it feels good. Yes, sadness still comes - but I can express how I feel without the need to cover it up or run away from my emotions with using alcohol as a numbing agent.

 

Do your best... Be proud of yourself - this isn't easy - but it's definitely something you can be proud of - and it's definitely worth doing!

 

Do not beat yourself up over a relapse - it happens... Just get back on path and only think of doing today.

 

I'm around drinkers all the time - without drinking myself. For me - I wouldn't date a big drinker. I would date someone who has a drink now and then but not regularly. In the beginning - I had work to do just to stay sober... So I didn't date anyone for a while after I stopped drinking. It's too distracting and created emotional chaos for me... Demands and expectations from men - are what triggered me to drink - so I just avoided dating at the beginning and for about 6 months. Then I made sure I chose wisely... Never a man who's a big drinker! But that's just me...

 

Hugs!

[2sunny]

How are you doing RP?

[2sunny]

Well - its been a while - just wanted to see how you're doing RP?

 

I see you started another thread - seems always to be focusing on what other men think/feel...

 

You need to focus only on what you can control =YOU. Changing YOU - are you doing everything to change the drinker you used to be? What is it that you are changing?

[Lil1]

I'm sorry for your loss RP. I hope you are feeling better. I know it's very hard, but do your best to avoid another relapse. Hang in there RP! We are here to support you.

[Mme. Chaucer]

How are you doing with the drinking / not drinking?

[2sunny]

Checking in RP... Sending you positive energy and hope you are doing well! Hugs!