bart Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I'm so confused. I need some perspective on what my ex is up to. To make a long story short, we broke up a year ago. She was the most amazing girl I've ever met, and my first love. I loved her so much I even postponed my career to be with her. I showered her with affection. But she never appreciated me. I think she thought I wasn't good enough for her. She used to make little comments about how I wasn't tall enough, buff enough, not making enough money (though I made 6 figures but she made twice as much). She worked on Wall Street among power brokers. I guess I wasn't "powerful" enough. And one day she ended it. I saw it coming but it still blew me away. For the next 6 months I was a total mess. Tried to call her, email her, IM her, but got nothing but cold shoulders. Around Christmas, my depression finally hit bottom. I realized she never wanted to have a future with me (even though we fantasied about marriage and kids); she just used me for companionship to counter her stressful work. For the next 5 months, I didn't contact her. And I moved away (arranged before the breakup). Then a few weeks ago she IM'ed me. This was the first time we talked for 6 months. We exchanged a few superficial words. She apologied, told me she didn't mean to hurt me; she thought it was best to be cold so I could move on; etc, etc. I listened but said nothing. A couple days ago she IM'ed again. She wanted a favor. She's going on vacation near my city and wondered if I could book her airfare through my company since I get corporate discount. Without thinking I said okay. Now I feel being used, again. She's going to be spending $700 on airfare, why does she even care for $100 discount with her salary? Is she testing me? Does she feel guilty and want to get me to be her friend to relieve the guilt? Is she telling me she's going to be near me without explicitly saying so? Is she probing getting back together? I'm so confused... She hasn't decided on the exact date. She said she'll tell me in a few days. What should I do? I don't think I should reject her since I already said okay. But I don't want to be played again. Help... Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Is she testing me? Does she feel guilty and want to get me to be her friend to relieve the guilt? Is she telling me she's going to be near me without explicitly saying so? Is she probing getting back together? The answer to any of the above questions shouldnt matter, why would you want to be with someone who never appreciated you, who just used you, who thought I wasn't good enough for her? if she had become a person who you should reconsider your position with, she wouldnt be playing games, shed be open and honest and youd know exactly where you stood right now with her contacting you again. the chances are that she has no intention of getting together again with you - either way, you lose again getthis communication out of the way and dont allow her any further contact BB Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 I wouldn't help her. She sounds like a selfish person with little regard to your feelings. Just tell her that you are not able to help her out after all. You don't owe her a single thing. Link to post Share on other sites
She's Come Undone Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 Exactly right, you don't owe her squat! She can afford to travel without your help, why the hell would she even ask? Good for you for realizing that there may be ulterior motives here. Whatever they may be, do you really want to go down that alley again? I hope you tell her sorry, no can do, and I certainly look forward to how this progresses. Strength be with you! Link to post Share on other sites
bart Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 thanks. I guess I still have feelings for her, and part of me still wants her back. I never had "closure" so maybe that's why I can't seem to let go. I want to confront her, ask her why she's doing this, but I'm afraid it'll just make me backtrack. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 From experience, you are going to backtrack big time. You want any sort of connection with someone you have feelings for. I have been there. But remember how she mistreated you.....have more dignity and drop any sort of contact with her. If you continue talking to her, it will feel good in the short-term. But long-term, you are going to suffer and regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
princess rose Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I'm sorry this is happening to you. Do not have any further contact with her. I'm thinking she knows you still have feelings for her, and she's using that to her advantage. There are s****ty people who do that. Don't fall into it. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't judge you by your station in life. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 duude... has this airfare shinanigans gone through yet? if not you should just nix it...really man, nix the whole affair. That's one cold lady and should be treated with the same. You can be nice and all, in words and such but don't do it by action. She's only getting the better of you, being nice to get a favor. hey, no matter how much you make, isn't saving anything worth it? I'm poor, to me that's something but I'd imagine that's something to any savy business person yes? now gimme money for my wisdom, hehehehe Link to post Share on other sites
bart Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I'm slipping backward. She told me she'd let me know in a few days, now everyday I'm unconsciously waiting for her to IM me. This sucks. Why does she have so much power over me? I know I can't get back with her even if she wants to, but I still can't seem to not think of her. Link to post Share on other sites
bart Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 well, it's been two weeks and no word from her. I guess she was just playing me again. what a bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 I know it's painful now, but down the road you will be thankful. Also, now you REALLY know what you meant to her. Who needs that crud. Link to post Share on other sites
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