A dumb fight we got into - now what do I do?

[lover4721]

So, look at my old threads.

 

This is an update. Happened 30 minutes ago. Also, I asked her what she wants to do and she said she has told me 193749029 times. It was to get back together. I just want to be able to trust her again - that's all :/

 

 

 

so we had this fight. she was fighting with her friends and I said "what happened to you" and she knew that facebook status was for her. she said she always thinks i look at her bad side. and she's done waiting for me and stuff. she said if i cared about her, i would have asked how her wisdom teeth appt was. :/ i didn't. I thought she was sleeping all day my mom said. BUT, i did go home to the place like 5 times. literally. like drove 10 miles 5 times to see if she was there. then she said she didn't know that because i don't tell her about my life and i never ask to hangout. :/ she also said I am leading her on. Which I'm not :/ It's just she hasn't texted me in a while.

 

 

 

we argued a lot. :/ it's like, i couldn't bring it into something calm. just kept going and i hate it when she sleeps because i really don't want to go to sleep knowing we hate each other because death can happen at anytime

 

 

 

i also told her she has changed. she said so what she got a few guy friends. it's just odd how she acts with them. she said her one friend only see each other in school, and is like a brother to her. that is what happened her last ex when he kissed her when we were dating :/

 

I also don't like her girl friend because she smokes and I don't want my ex smoking again. but she said she doesn't smoke around her or whatever. she told me to ask her.

 

 

 

I am in fault for this. i should have apologized and shouldn't of gotten into a fight. :/ I would kinda like to try to see if I can fix this a little but she is mad at me. :/ do I let her have space for a while? or should I maybe talk to her tomorrow normally since she said I should talk to her more?

 

This sucks :/ Kinda wish I knew she wanted me to text her more and stuff. I guess I never wanted to because it seemed like she has changed?

So what now? Should I give her time? I removed her from my friends on Facebook so we wouldn't fight or anything. Should I text her normally? Should I text her today saying

 

"I apologize for the fighting. I know I didn't ask you how you were doing, my Mom said you may have been sleeping because I told her I haven't heard anything from you. It just upset me on how you thought I didn't care about you when truthfully I kept running home and back to the oral surgeon five times to see if you were there. I'm sorry for fighting."

 

I don't know what I should say,. All I know is, I don't want us on a bad string because anything can happen to one of us, and the other person would be really lost.

 

I guess I just wait until she is okay? If she expects me to text her, I'll just say I was giving each other time to cool off.

I know she is stressed from fighting with her old friends.

 

Edited February 10, 2012 by lover4721

[chados]

im sorry but i had a hard time understanding this. so if i missread or anything just tell me.

 

first off, stop with the facebook updates, because thats the way people are acting when they cant stand up for themselves. and when they want a person to react in some way. guess what, nobody cares about these updates. and she will only think youre weak. to me it looks like youre to needy and jealous. if you dont trust her at all, i dont see the reason being together with her. people change in their relationships. you cant really do anything about it. you wont feel the same as you did when the relationship started.

 

this is the comfortable zone, she will do stuff she didnt do before, maybe be with her friends a little more often.. accept it for what it is. learn to live by the fact that no relationship will stay the same.

 

 

edit: just be yourself, dont tell her you will change because that will make her think that you only did it because she wants it. text her normally. stop apologizing, and dont chase her.

Edited February 10, 2012 by chados

[lover4721]

Yeah I guess I'll just ignore it. Screw it.

 

It's like a roller coaster for us.

[lover4721]

5 days ago, we fought about trust and stuff. Then I let her cool down, and she went on Skype last night. I got her message she sent me Wednesday, said "I love you." At 12:24, I replied are you sure, and she said yeah. We got talking into dumb trust again and fought :/

This morning, I found out, 12:21 she posted on Twitter... it said something like "when you get hopes up for this kid, then find out he has a girlfriend."

 

So I assume she liked someone? I told her about this and she said it's okay for her to show interest in other people, when I show no interest in her at all.

 

She said she has poured her heart out, I say I'm ready, and then I say I'm not ready. Which she said she doesn't feel like waiting around for me if that's what happens.

 

I think because the one day before she came over, I said yeah let's try it again, and she then asked 'are we dating yet ;p' which was really weird and I said take it slow.

 

So today she said I should make up my mind, and then she will be devoted to me, but until then she's living her life.

 

I said "I want you, I want to try again but how do I trust you? Now it's your turn to prove to me." I said more than that though lol. She said "I tried to prove it to you, and look where it got me? no where" and I said "Well I'm sorry." and she read that message but didn't reply.

 

So what should I do? Wait until she texts me? How do I go about trusting her when she's looking for someone else? I'll always be so paranoid about talking to her and trying to get back together, when she can be looking for someone else. Then doing that, she will think it's alright to play me. :/

 

Here is what I think I should do.

Besides talking about trust and stuff, I think I should talk normally to her when I did when she came over. We talked happily and then asked to come over.

However, I'm afraid she will have me - AND, she will have someone else that she likes and is trying to get with, and I will not allow her to play me like that.

What do you think?

[Jayerjay]

What are these trust issues that you keep speaking of? I haven't looked through any past threads, but based on what you posted on here she hasn't done anything wrong in the slightest.

 

What do you expect from her exactly when you say she has to prove it to you? Stop playing these games, you're trying to make her jump through hoops. She's either not a trustworthy person, in which case move on to someone who is, or it's all stemming from your insecurities in which case man up and cut it out.

 

My advice, be a man and stop playing childish games. Admit your faults and apologize without making excuses, tell her what you need out of the relationship and make it work. You'll be amazed how she changes and gives you what you need when you stop picking fights and acting immature.

 

Good luck.

[lover4721]

I haven't looked through any past threads, but based on what you posted on here she hasn't done anything wrong in the slightest.

 

There's your problem.

 

Odd response... I guess you should look at my threads and you'll find out I wasn't the one acting immature. She's been playing these games with me, but you assume I'm the one at fault? lol. I respect your response, but learn the whole story before you reply man. Trust me, I'm not the one playing games.

 

Thanks for your input, though.

 

I guess I'll move on and get someone my own age, and someone that knows what she wants and who.

Peace...

 

I'm studying Relationship Psychology. I'll put it to my use.

Edited February 18, 2012 by lover4721