Very stressed, anxious and depressed (work related)

[Ross MwcFan]

I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I find regular things in life to be very overwhelming. There is no way I could ever cope with having to work at a regular (this means crappy) job.

 

For years now I've been recieving income support because of my inability to work.

 

But things have now changed. I got a letter the other day which is saying that I have been placed in a work related activity group, which means I'll have to take part in work focused interviews with a personal adviser, otherwise my money will be stopped.

 

Also, every 6 months I will have to go to a health related assessment where I wil have to prove that I'm unable to work.

 

So, yeah, I mean just having to go to this lame 'work related activity group' which I guess will be a regular thing, makes me feel really really anxious and uncomfortable.

 

I'm also worried that when I'm there explaining why I can't work or whatever due to me feeling anxious and depressed, that they will be non understanding, unsympathetic and rude (someone was actually like this with my sister at another job centre). I'm also worried that they may push me into a crappy job that I would just not be able to cope with (pretty much 99% of all jobs come under that category for me)

 

I don't even know if I should explain to them that the only kind of job that I would probably be able to cope with doing would be working with animals, because then they might think I'd probably be okay with working anywhere.

 

But even as far as working with animals is concerned, I can't just work anywhere because of my fear of driving. If they try pushing me into a job which involves working with animals, what if it's somewhere really far away where I wouldn't be able to cope with driving to it? There's a place which helps animals (RSPCA) which is quite far from me, and it's in a really rough area with a lot of thugs walking around there, which means if I worked there, there would be a decent chance I would get bullied when I get out of my car in the car park by these thugs, as I'm usually always get targeted by those kinds of people, and it also means there's a decent chance that the people who work there aren't that nice either (I find a lot of people in and around that area to be quite rude and they all seem to have attitudes).

 

So I'm also worried that they may get me a job there, and it's like if I try explainin to them why I can't work at that particular place, after telling them that I would probably feel okay with a job that involves working with animals, it seems like they probably just wouldn't understand and be totally unsympathetic, and then I may loose my money if I don't go.

 

I'm also worried about the assessments that I'll have to go to every 6 months to prove that I'm unable to work, as a lot of people who are clearly not able to work are failing the assessments.

 

This is going to undo all the progress I've made in my life over the years. I'm already finding it very hard to get out of bed because of this because it's making me feel so depressed, and I'm feeling really anxious and worried all the time.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Dust]

I hope they do push you out of your comfort zone. Might do you some good cause as it stands now you're in a hell of your own making.

 

I get nervous about things too, every one does. People get scared of a new job, what will the toilets be like, will they get fired, will they like it. All sorts of thoughts. People dread the drive to and from work. In the end you'll be better off then you are now. You'll make more money right?

[Ross MwcFan]

I hope they do push you out of your comfort zone. Might do you some good cause as it stands now you're in a hell of your own making.

 

I get nervous about things too, every one does. People get scared of a new job, what will the toilets be like, will they get fired, will they like it. All sorts of thoughts. People dread the drive to and from work. In the end you'll be better off then you are now. You'll make more money right?

 

If it's a regular job, I wont be better off than I am now, in fact I'll be way worse off. Just knowing what may happen is making me feel a lot worse as it is.

 

It's not just about feeling nervous, it's about having to work many hours everyday for years or even the rest of my life doing something that I find incredibly boring and unstimulating, and then not having much free time to do the things I enjoy after I've finished work, because after only a few hours I'd have to go to bed to get enough sleep so I can get up at such an unreasonable extremely early time.

 

Yes I know a lot of people have to do this, but that doesn't change that fact that I'd find it unbearable.

 

I'll be making money but even earning a thousand a week wouldn't be worth it.

 

Honestly, if I have to choose between working at some crappy job that I wouldn't be able to cope with, or losing my money and starving to death, I'd rather starve to death.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Dust]

If it's a regular job, I wont be better off than I am now, in fact I'll be way worse off. Just knowing what may happen is making me feel a lot worse as it is.

 

It's not just about feeling nervous, it's about having to work many hours everyday for years or even the rest of my life doing something that I find incredibly boring and unstimulating, and then not having much free time to do the things I enjoy after I've finished work, because after only a few hours I'd have to go to bed to get enough sleep so I can get up at such an unreasonable extremely early time.

 

Yes I know a lot of people have to do this, but that doesn't change that fact that I'd find it unbearable.

 

I'll be making money but even earning a thousand a week wouldn't be worth it.

 

Honestly, if I have to choose between working at some crappy job that I wouldn't be able to cope with, or losing my money and starving to death, I'd rather starve to death.

 

You seem like a very unhappy scared person. Wouldn't it be nice to get some "peace of mind!"

 

If it were up to me I'd make you work. If you want work with animals nothings stopping you but yourself. Personaly I hate the idea of picking up pooh and cleaning up after animals all day even though I really do love nature and animals. To me a nice office job sounds very nice.

[PegNosePete]

I'm also worried that when I'm there explaining why I can't work or whatever due to me feeling anxious and depressed, that they will be non understanding, unsympathetic and rude

Yes, I am sorry to say they probably will. Their job is to sort out those who really cannot work from those who are faking it. The process is not very pleasant. My ex had severe OCD and anxiety and had to go to these assessments, I went with her, and they were horrible.

 

But on the plus side, if you get freaked out and scared and unable to continue the interview: you just passed!

[Ross MwcFan]

You seem like a very unhappy scared person. Wouldn't it be nice to get some "peace of mind!"

 

If it were up to me I'd make you work. If you want work with animals nothings stopping you but yourself. Personaly I hate the idea of picking up pooh and cleaning up after animals all day even though I really do love nature and animals. To me a nice office job sounds very nice.

 

Then after what I've told you, you must be a very cruel person.

[Dust]

Then after what I've told you, you must be a very cruel person.

 

Ross I could save you from yourself and show you a world you only dreamed of. From my perspective you're the cruel person, you've hidden yourself away from the world and constantly act like every one else is luckier then you.

 

Everything scares you.

[Ross MwcFan]

Ross I could save you from yourself and show you a world you only dreamed of. From my perspective you're the cruel person, you've hidden yourself away from the world and constantly act like every one else is luckier then you.

 

Everything scares you.

 

I'm not cruel, I can't help the way I am. In fact I'm trying to work on myself.

 

What you've just said however, does not change the fact that it is you who is cruel.

[Dust]

I'm not cruel, I can't help the way I am. In fact I'm trying to work on myself.

 

What you've just said however, does not change the fact that it is you who is cruel.

 

It's cruel to call me cruel just for trying to help you. Bottom line its out of your power. You're not being helped by your situation its very obvious. You even know it. So continue living the way you do if you want. Or chalenge yourself and find out you won't burst into flames if you have to drive to a job every day. You might find yourself enjoying the week and looking foward to each day.

[Ross MwcFan]

It's cruel to call me cruel just for trying to help you. Bottom line its out of your power. You're not being helped by your situation its very obvious. You even know it. So continue living the way you do if you want. Or chalenge yourself and find out you won't burst into flames if you have to drive to a job every day. You might find yourself enjoying the week and looking foward to each day.

 

Forcing me into any job wouldn't help me, in fact it would just make me fall apart even more. Do you think I'm lying or something?

 

So I'm not being cruel by calling you cruel at all.

 

I am trying to get myself a job that I would enjoy and feel comfortable with doing, I'm going to try and get voluntary work at an animal shelter, and hopefully eventually that would lead me into a full time paying job which involves working with animals which I'd enjoy and feel comfortable at.

[PegNosePete]

Dust,

Much as I appreciate what you're trying to do for Ross, I have quite a bit of experience of this type of anxiety disorder. Telling the sufferer to "snap out of it" (in so many words) is the first instinct of pretty much everyone who tries to help. Unfortunately it hardly ever works. It just makes the sufferer feel worse because they can't snap out of it, which exacerbates the condition.

 

Sounds like he needs cognitive behavioural therapy.

[Dust]

Forcing me into any job wouldn't help me, in fact it would just make me fall apart even more. Do you think I'm lying or something?

 

So I'm not being cruel by calling you cruel at all.

 

I am trying to get myself a job that I would enjoy and feel comfortable with doing, I'm going to try and get voluntary work at an animal shelter, and hopefully eventually that would lead me into a full time paying job which involves working with animals which I'd enjoy and feel comfortable at.

 

I don't think you're lying which is more the reason for the government to stop funding your anxiety and let you just live your life. Listen to yourself I am, and you're miserable.

 

It's very cruel to call a person cruel the same way it would be stupid to call some one stupid.

 

You don't have to try to get a voluntary job, you just volunteer. I'm not saying you should be forced to work a job you don't want I'm just saying your government aid should stop. I don't believe in welfare. You're a perfect example of how it doesn't help.

 

You wouldn't end up starving either. If it really came to that you could go to a church or some other charitable orginization. There is no food shortage in the very well off part of the world you live in. I do think you shouldn't just be handed money by the government because it makes everything harder and more anoying on the people who do work. Not to mention its caused you greater anxiety.

[Dust]

Dust,

Much as I appreciate what you're trying to do for Ross, I have quite a bit of experience of this type of anxiety disorder. Telling the sufferer to "snap out of it" (in so many words) is the first instinct of pretty much everyone who tries to help. Unfortunately it hardly ever works. It just makes the sufferer feel worse because they can't snap out of it, which exacerbates the condition.

 

Sounds like he needs cognitive behavioural therapy.

 

I hear ya. But you know I respectfuly disagree. I believe anxiety disorders as they are called by the so called professionals only make the situation worse. I don't think he can just snap out of it but I don't think its helping him to just be given money. Not to mention giving him money hurts many more people then it helps with the warfare/welfare system. It grows the government in untatural ways that has lead to very bad things and probably the reason for his anxiety in the first place.

 

He doesn't realize it but he'd be happier with a job. He's lost touch with reality though and says things like "I'm trying to volunteer." He's been saying that for a very long time now.

 

I know he'd be better off if they cut him off. In the end it doesn't matter because its out of his control. If he'd like hes perfectly welcome to feel the joy of taking what control he can of his life again.

[PegNosePete]

I don't think its helping him to just be given money.

Oh I certainly agree with that!

 

He doesn't realize it but he'd be happier with a job.

Indeed. But how can you make him realize that? From his responses in this thread, your way obviously is not working. It's just making him hostile, defensive, feeling even worse and actually deterring him from doing anything to change his situation.

 

People who have a genuine medical condition need to get it treated.

 

People who can be "snapped out of it" don't have a medical condition and need to be slapped upside the head and told to get a job.

 

Getting the treatment the wrong way around (for both types of people) does more harm than good.

[Ross MwcFan]

I don't think you're lying which is more the reason for the government to stop funding your anxiety and let you just live your life. Listen to yourself I am, and you're miserable.

 

It's very cruel to call a person cruel the same way it would be stupid to call some one stupid.

 

You don't have to try to get a voluntary job, you just volunteer. I'm not saying you should be forced to work a job you don't want I'm just saying your government aid should stop. I don't believe in welfare. You're a perfect example of how it doesn't help.

 

You wouldn't end up starving either. If it really came to that you could go to a church or some other charitable orginization. There is no food shortage in the very well off part of the world you live in. I do think you shouldn't just be handed money by the government because it makes everything harder and more anoying on the people who do work. Not to mention its caused you greater anxiety.

 

I keep telling you, working at just any job would make me feel worse, it would cause me greater anxiety. So no, being aided by the government doesn't make me worse or keep me feeling miserable, and it does help.

 

It's not cruel to call a person cruel, if they are cruel. Which you obviously have now shown yourself to be.

 

You don't believe in welfare at all? More cruelness. Thank god you don't run this country.

[Ross MwcFan]

I hear ya. But you know I respectfuly disagree. I believe anxiety disorders as they are called by the so called professionals only make the situation worse. I don't think he can just snap out of it but I don't think its helping him to just be given money. Not to mention giving him money hurts many more people then it helps with the warfare/welfare system. It grows the government in untatural ways that has lead to very bad things and probably the reason for his anxiety in the first place.

 

He doesn't realize it but he'd be happier with a job. He's lost touch with reality though and says things like "I'm trying to volunteer." He's been saying that for a very long time now.

 

I know he'd be better off if they cut him off. In the end it doesn't matter because its out of his control. If he'd like hes perfectly welcome to feel the joy of taking what control he can of his life again.

 

No, I haven't lost touch with reality. And no I wouldn't be happier with a job. I 've worked at lost of different jobs and they made me feel absolutley miserable.

[Ross MwcFan]

Well, if I do have to work at just any job, you'll see me unravel, fall apart, and become even worse.

 

Unless I become such a shell of my former self, and so withdrawn, that I have no desire to talk to anyone anymore, and so therefore stop posting on the forums.

[Dust]

Oh I certainly agree with that!

 

 

Indeed. But how can you make him realize that? From his responses in this thread, your way obviously is not working. It's just making him hostile, defensive, feeling even worse and actually deterring him from doing anything to change his situation.

 

People who have a genuine medical condition need to get it treated.

 

People who can be "snapped out of it" don't have a medical condition and need to be slapped upside the head and told to get a job.

 

Getting the treatment the wrong way around (for both types of people) does more harm than good.

 

I think treatment makes people worse and is a giant scam. I agree people are anxious. Labeling them with "anxiety" and then medicating, meeting with them, and finaly saying they don't have to have responsibilities makes everything worse for that person and every one else.

 

I keep telling you, working at just any job would make me feel worse, it would cause me greater anxiety. So no, being aided by the government doesn't make me worse or keep me feeling miserable, and it does help.

 

It's not cruel to call a person cruel, if they are cruel. Which you obviously have now shown yourself to be.

 

You don't believe in welfare at all? More cruelness. Thank god you don't run this country.

 

I think you're in a position where you don't understand the things I do. Of course I may be wrong but thats my opinion. I'm also of the opinion that calling me cruel is both rude and cruel itself as I've said nothing to merit such treatment. You truely do appear to be in a very dark place. You've also been going through this for a long time so it's obvious you havn't been helped by the government aid.

 

I believe in a world where we help people who need help. I'm not suggesting you be made homeless or starve to death. Even if the government aid stops you will not end up homeless or starving to death unless you choose so and that is your choice. The aid is out of your control that is why you are so stressed about it. If it were my choice I would end it in your case and tell you to get a job. If you were starving or with out place to stay there are plenty of charitys that would help you.

 

I think you're as sick as you've ever been and if you worked and did the things you know you should you'd start feeling better and enjoying things more. It's clear you are very stressed by everything and anything and I wouldn't wish that upon any one. You need a reality check it would do you good.

[Ross MwcFan]

Dust no offense, but you're full of ****, I'm not going to argue with you anymore. You don't listen to anything that I say.

 

I will say just one last thing though, I've also seen the way you treat somedude, always belittling him, taking the piss out of him, giving him a hard time.

 

Just another example of your cruelness.

 

If you don't like being called cruel, then don't be that way.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Dust]

Dust no offense, but you're full of ****, I'm not going to argue with you anymore. You don't listen to anything that I say.

 

Btw, I've also seen the way you treat somedude, always belittling him, taking the piss out of him, giving him a hard time.

 

Just another example of your cruelness.

 

If you don't like being called cruel, then don't be that way.

 

Somedude is very rude. You are also being very rude. You treat your life as if it is worthless and act as if the littlest of things will break you when you know deep down that it isn't so. I don't believe the situation you are in is best for you. I don't believe a government bureaucrat will be able to help you... but you've put yourself in that situation by depending on government aid so I don't feel sorry for you.

 

I could care less what a rude cruel person thinks of me. I know you're just terrified and that proves my point not yours.

 

To me there is nothing worse then the life unlived. To alway depend and sponge off others is not a way to live. To be so afraid your precious aid might be cut off by some government bureaucrat is no way to live. You're not happy your posts and your rude treatment of me and others who disagree with you is proof.

 

It's been entertaining to catch a glimpse into the minds of people like you and somedude. Also though its been painful because I can see the things you can't and refuse too. Oh well enjoy.

[PegNosePete]

Labeling them with "anxiety" and then medicating, meeting with them, and finaly saying they don't have to have responsibilities makes everything worse for that person and every one else.

I agree it is over-used any many people claim to be suffering from mental disorders when in fact they simply have an acute case of lazyitis. But there are genuine cases, I went out with one for 9 years. Whether Ross is a genuine case or not I don't know, but the "snap out of it" approach really doesn't seem to be helping him.

[Dust]

I agree it is over-used any many people claim to be suffering from mental disorders when in fact they simply have an acute case of lazyitis. But there are genuine cases, I went out with one for 9 years. Whether Ross is a genuine case or not I don't know, but the "snap out of it" approach really doesn't seem to be helping him.

 

I don't think he's lying and I think its natural to be lazy. The thing is him being removed has put him in this situation to be nervous about government bureaucrats. It's put him in this situation to feel like he has no control over anything. I just think I know better then him.

 

The guy is also like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde in that he claims to be to afraid to even tell a shop keep he doesn't need help and is forced to leave yet goes around picking fights with people like me with my very common veiw point that welfare doesn't help. Making personal attacks on my character calling me cruel.

 

Then he complains about boring jobs... Welfare creates boring jobs, it makes all our money worth far less and allows government to grow far to big making all the paper pusher crappy jobs that exist.

[denise_xo]

Hi Ross,

 

Do you have all your documentation in order in terms of your medical history? If I were you, I would collect all the documentation you have and also get a current statement both from your therapist (you are currently seeing one, is that right?) as well as your GP on how they gauge your capacity to work (or not) and under what circumstances (and not). I realise you have probably handed this in to the welfare authorities before, but I wouldn't count on them having your records readily available and it's probably also good to have updated information. Bring copies of everything you have to the interview, along with any recommendations from your therapist/ GP as to what would actually help and support you to improve your situation. When you ask for current, written statements from your GP and therapist, explain to them exactly what they are for, who will read it, and the kind of scenarios you are worried about that you already wrote about in your OP. In other words, get the professionals to explain your situation for you in writing, so that you don't have to worry too much about explaining it all by yourself to the personal advisor.

 

The climate of 'welfare reform' in the UK is really tough now and like PNP said this process is likely to be uncomfortable, but given that there is also a lot of resistance to the current reforms, perhaps there are some activists in your local area who can also give you some help with your case.

[Ariadne]

If it's a regular job, I wont be better off than I am now, in fact I'll be way worse off. Just knowing what may happen is making me feel a lot worse as it is.

 

It's not just about feeling nervous, it's about having to work many hours everyday for years or even the rest of my life doing something that I find incredibly boring and unstimulating, and then not having much free time to do the things I enjoy after I've finished work, because after only a few hours I'd have to go to bed to get enough sleep so I can get up at such an unreasonable extremely early time.

 

Yes I know a lot of people have to do this, but that doesn't change that fact that I'd find it unbearable.

 

I'll be making money but even earning a thousand a week wouldn't be worth it.

 

Honestly, if I have to choose between working at some crappy job that I wouldn't be able to cope with, or losing my money and starving to death, I'd rather starve to death.

 

I agree with you Ross 100%. Hope it works out and that they don't give you too much of a hard time. Good luck!

 

every one else is luckier then you.

 

hurts many more people then it helps

 

nothing worse then the life unlived.

 

I know better then him.

 

The word is than.

[Dust]

 

 

The word is than.

 

I liked writing then better. Is that ok with you hun?

 

You're not helping Ross, you're enabling him at the cost of everyone.