Very stressed, anxious and depressed (work related)

[Ross MwcFan]

Sorry Ross but I really do not think this is always the case. I have just come up very quickly with these links which may help you.

 

This is a site detailing GCSE courses which can be done as distance learning. I clicked on a few courses and looked at entry requirements - all were open to anybody regardless of previous qualifications (or lack of)

 

GCSE Distance Learning Qualifications

 

This is a government promoted site about adult education and GCSEs

 

https://nextstep.direct.gov.uk/Pages/home.aspx

 

And finally this is the adult learners section of a college's website which shows that there are plenty of cources which are at GCSE level and for which formal qualifications are not required to enrol

 

Adults | The Manchester College

 

Thanks Anne, I'll take a look at the links.

[Ross MwcFan]

You know what annoys me, is that, if it was up to people like dust, they would stop my money and make me work, because they think it would be good for me.

 

But what gives them the right to do that?

 

What gives them the right to control my life?

 

If someone doesn't want something forced on them, even if you think it would be good for them, then you respect their wishes, to go ahead and force it on them, is just completely wrong.

 

I mean, if i thought relationships weren't any good for a particular person, and that and that being celibate and single for the rest of their lives would do them good, would it therefore be okay for me to force that on them, even though it would be against their wishes?

[Ross MwcFan]

Not only should you take a look you should enroll like you said you wanted to.

 

Who the **** are you to tell me what to do?

 

I think you should use some deodrant. It's good for you.

[Ross MwcFan]

I know it would be good for you to work and I understand you don't know it.

 

 

 

You gave people like me that right when you stoped taking responsibility for your own life. A good question to also ask yourself is what gives you the right to take other peoples money? The people who think like me are growing just ask the younger generation. We vote and you will lose, and I always vote.

 

 

 

Hey we agree. I think working would be good for you. I never said you should be forced to work. Forcing people to pay for your life is what is happening though. So you're not being forced to do anything. I mean unless you call forced not gotting government aid. We have different definitions of forced.

 

 

 

No ones forcing you to do anything. You're on government aid and afraid of losing it. Get a reality check.

 

You sure give me the impression of wanting to control my life, dust.

 

Here's another question, why are you so obsessed with me and Somedude? It's kinda weird...

Edited February 16, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Ross MwcFan]

Don't you understand if you worked a job no matter how boring that would be you taking control of your life. If you sit there and have to live with your mom even though you hate her and take government aid that could be taken away at any time you've given up control of your life.

 

You have the right not to work. There are plenty of charaties that could help some one who wants to be a charity case. I don't believe government money should go to people like you and I have a right to vote the way I please... its not about controling you its about controling myself. I understand not recieving money for being scared of working could impact your life negatively from your point of view but I disagree which is also my right. Is being rude part of your disability because this is a very comon place idea I'm presenting you so try to have some manners about it!

 

 

Yet you're perfectly fine with being rude yourself, to other people who don't even deserve it.

 

Also, I think it's rude how I've given you very valied points for why I do have a disability, but you just totally ignore them everytime.

 

You just see things in the way you want to see them. It's you who needs the reality check.

Edited February 16, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Ross MwcFan]

Your disability involves your thinking right? Not physical? So then why wouldn't you at least consider the advice of some one who doesn't have a problem thinking so you can gain the same peace of mind I enjoy.

 

The question isn't why don't I believe you.. I do. The question is why don't you believe me?

 

You're being nonsensical now... wtf.

[Ross MwcFan]

Makes sense to me. I'm telling you that I believe you when you say "I don't want to work, I'm to afraid anxious to work." I believe you when you say things like "I want to volunteer but I'm to afraid to even leave my house." I believe you when you say "I can't take a walk in the countryside people would think I'm weird and I couldn't handle that."

 

I also believe you don't know whats best for yourself. I'm not sugesting you be forced to do anything. What I am sugesting is that from my perspective I don't like the thought of my money being forced to be given to some one like you. If you want to be a charity case that is fine by me, but you shouldn't be getting government aid. Further more I believe enabling you to continue this way is hurting you. I know you disagree. But I am 100% that a job would help you. I am by no means saying you should be forced.

 

I know that if you worked a job you would feel like a diferent person. A better person with piece of mind. I know you don't agree or understand this. From my perspective I'm in a better position then you to understand this. I know how it feels not to have a job and I know how it feels to have a job even a boring one. I'm telling you that it would be your salvation. It's to bad your government aid isn't getting cut off because it might have motivated you... but if its not getting cut off yet you still feel motivated and do things instead of just saying "ill reasearch that" "i'll look into that" but instead get on it... YOu'll win!

 

Dust, how can you possibly know me better than I know myself?

[HeavenOrHell]

Dust, you would in effect be forcing him to work if you were in control of stopping the money he gets now, you'd make it so he has no choice, whether he could cope with it or not. You said >If it were up to me I'd make you work.< How is that different to forcing him?

 

You assume he would cope, because in your opinion, he'd *have* to cope if he was made to work, I've had several jobs I was unable to cope with, it just does not work like that. In your ideal world everyone would do what they're made to do with no choice but to comply, because how dare anyone not work and get government aid if *you* have to work (no matter if they have health problems, yes mental health problems are health problems). You have to so it follows he should have to too, right? But you're not him and you don't have the same problems as him, even if you did, you're still not him, you cope better than him, in a nutshell.

 

Anyone on this thread who calls what they're saying to Ross 'tough love' basically means they can be rude and lacking in compassion and make out it's 'tough love.' There's no such thing as 'tough love' it just means people get away with saying things which aren't nice because they're annoyed or impatient or lacking compassion, or are envious because they don't particularly like their own job. Instead of having digs at him, why not work towards making your own life better, instead of feeling bitter that he gets g'ment support and you don't, it's hardly his fault what position anyone else is in, is it? It's actually completely irrelevant, this thread is about Ross, and not about anyone else.

 

Those who say things like; 'well I suffered this, this and this, but I still managed to study and work so therefore you must too', it's irrelevant, this isn't anything to do with Ross's situation being relative/comparable to anyone else's, we are all unique people.

 

Same goes for saying things like; people in some countries don't have benefits, they have to work, or beg on the streets, no matter how badly disabled they are.

How is this relevant?

Again, it's basically saying 'they suffer so why should you have it easy', and again it's totally irrelevant. The fact people are living in abject poverty in many countries and living in horrendous conditions far more horrific than most of us can even imagine is something everyone should be up in arms about and protesting about (and many of us are, me included), it doesn't mean people aren't fighting g'ments to try help, it doesn't mean it's right that disabled people have to beg on the streets in some countries, it means that the world is f***** up and most g'ments are f***** up, everyone should be entitled to help when they need it.

 

Countries with benefit systems means people can get (if they're lucky) money to live on if they are unable to work, that is how it should be for everyone, we are lucky enough to live in a country whose g'ment isn't as s*** and as lacking in compassion as many other countries, although it's going that way in many richer countries lately.

But people being in far worse situations does not = people in this country should not get benefits and should be made to work. This is not rational thinking.

 

Comparing Ross's situation to anyone else's is designed to make him feel guilty, which is far from being helpful.

[FitChick]

What Ross fails to realize is that by taking even a crappy job and sticking with it for six months or a year, he will gain self-respect that he isn't taking handouts any more and pride in taking care of himself. With newly acquired job experience he can start looking around for a BETTER job for more money. That's how it works. All of us had crappy first jobs out of school. It isn't the job that is important, it's learning to be reliable by showing up on time, learning how to follow orders, learning new skills, developing a healthy work ethic, all of which help you get your next job.

 

When you learn people skills, it's called networking and networking is the best way to find the best jobs. "It's not what you know, it's who you know."

[D-Lish]

Forcing me into any job wouldn't help me, in fact it would just make me fall apart even more. Do you think I'm lying or something?

 

So I'm not being cruel by calling you cruel at all.

 

I am trying to get myself a job that I would enjoy and feel comfortable with doing, I'm going to try and get voluntary work at an animal shelter, and hopefully eventually that would lead me into a full time paying job which involves working with animals which I'd enjoy and feel comfortable at.

 

Given your level of anxiety, you will NEVER find a job you are comfortable with.

 

I am so anxiety ridden that I live my life in panic. However, I hold down a job with a position of great authority- and I make good money doing it.

 

I go to work every day feeling sick to my tummy, I have the panic butterflies raging through my body 24/7... My Dr. told me I have the worst case of GAD she's ever dealt with, yet I function reluctantly despite of my anxiety.

 

I don't think Dust is being cruel, I think Dust is pushing you to overcome your anxiety like others do. Maybe not overcome- but push "through".

 

I push through my anxiety every single day to make a living. It's very hard to do, but you can do it.

 

I have sympathy for your anxiety, just not for your excuses. Somewhere along the line you have internalized that you are disabled, when you're not.

 

Ross, I sometimes wake up in the morning and barf, or I spend 20 minutes with my head between my knees so I won't barf before heading on the road for work. If I can do it, you can.

 

Do I feel for you, yes- do I think you are disabled given my own anxiety? No.

 

If I can get my ass to a job that requires me to run an entire sales distrcit every morning, you can find a job and make it there every day.

 

I'm getting considered for A RAISE and PROMOTION right now- and I'm so full of anxiety. I push though it every day. I doubt your anxiety is worse than mine.

Edited February 17, 2012 by D-Lish

[D-Lish]

Geez Dlish do you at least enjoy working more then you would sitting at home all day?

 

Also as a man I think there is something spiritual about working. I don't think women need it as much... Sexist of me to say I know. But what I'm saying is Ross really needs to work!

 

 

I refuse to give in to my anxiety, I REFUSE. I could hide at home, but it's not an option.

 

I choose to strive for success.

 

I could get a Dr's note to excuse me in a second, but that's not me.

[Emilia]

I refuse to give in to my anxiety, I REFUSE. I could hide at home, but it's not an option.

 

I choose to strive for success.

 

I could get a Dr's note to excuse me in a second, but that's not me.

 

Wow, your strength of character is really impressive.

[Emilia]

Truth is I think anyone could get a doctors note. This doctors are way to happy to diagnose every one and any one with some condition. The thing is I'd be miserable.

 

I don't like hearing about how much you struggle D it shouldn't be this painful for you. But maybe that just means you apreciate everything more!

 

If I understand D correctly, I think what she gets out of it is her pride in her strength

[HeavenOrHell]

No, he can't do it just because you can, he's not you! Your situation is not relative to his and vice versa. It's not a tit for tat thing 'I can do it therefore you can', that isn't logical thinking.

 

Yes, he has to change, we all agree with that.

 

 

 

 

Given your level of anxiety, you will NEVER find a job you are comfortable with.

 

I am so anxiety ridden that I live my life in panic. However, I hold down a job with a position of great authority- and I make good money doing it.

 

I go to work every day feeling sick to my tummy, I have the panic butterflies raging through my body 24/7... My Dr. told me I have the worst case of GAD she's ever dealt with, yet I function reluctantly despite of my anxiety.

 

I don't think Dust is being cruel, I think Dust is pushing you to overcome your anxiety like others do. Maybe not overcome- but push "through".

 

I push through my anxiety every single day to make a living. It's very hard to do, but you can do it.

 

I have sympathy for your anxiety, just not for your excuses. Somewhere along the line you have internalized that you are disabled, when you're not.

 

Ross, I sometimes wake up in the morning and barf, or I spend 20 minutes with my head between my knees so I won't barf before heading on the road for work. If I can do it, you can.

 

Do I feel for you, yes- do I think you are disabled given my own anxiety? No.

 

If I can get my ass to a job that requires me to run an entire sales distrcit every morning, you can find a job and make it there every day.

 

I'm getting considered for A RAISE and PROMOTION right now- and I'm so full of anxiety. I push though it every day. I doubt your anxiety is worse than mine.

[HeavenOrHell]

No, it's not you, my point exactly, we're talking about someone who isn't you.

 

 

 

I refuse to give in to my anxiety, I REFUSE. I could hide at home, but it's not an option.

 

I choose to strive for success.

 

I could get a Dr's note to excuse me in a second, but that's not me.

[Ross MwcFan]

Because you're like a scared child and you know it. I'm trying to show you how to become a man.

 

That does not make you know me better than I know myself.

 

Anyhow, your technique isn't working, it's just making things worse.

 

Here's another thinker, how can you possibly know better than the doctor who did a medical assessment on me, and found that I wasn't fit for work?

[Ross MwcFan]

What Ross fails to realize is that by taking even a crappy job and sticking with it for six months or a year, he will gain self-respect that he isn't taking handouts any more and pride in taking care of himself. With newly acquired job experience he can start looking around for a BETTER job for more money. That's how it works. All of us had crappy first jobs out of school. It isn't the job that is important, it's learning to be reliable by showing up on time, learning how to follow orders, learning new skills, developing a healthy work ethic, all of which help you get your next job.

 

When you learn people skills, it's called networking and networking is the best way to find the best jobs. "It's not what you know, it's who you know."

 

I've worked at many jobs before. I never gained self respect, fullfilment, or any sense of purpose from them.

[Ross MwcFan]

Given your level of anxiety, you will NEVER find a job you are comfortable with.

 

I am so anxiety ridden that I live my life in panic. However, I hold down a job with a position of great authority- and I make good money doing it.

 

I go to work every day feeling sick to my tummy, I have the panic butterflies raging through my body 24/7... My Dr. told me I have the worst case of GAD she's ever dealt with, yet I function reluctantly despite of my anxiety.

 

I don't think Dust is being cruel, I think Dust is pushing you to overcome your anxiety like others do. Maybe not overcome- but push "through".

 

I push through my anxiety every single day to make a living. It's very hard to do, but you can do it.

 

I have sympathy for your anxiety, just not for your excuses. Somewhere along the line you have internalized that you are disabled, when you're not.

 

Ross, I sometimes wake up in the morning and barf, or I spend 20 minutes with my head between my knees so I won't barf before heading on the road for work. If I can do it, you can.

 

Do I feel for you, yes- do I think you are disabled given my own anxiety? No.

 

If I can get my ass to a job that requires me to run an entire sales distrcit every morning, you can find a job and make it there every day.

 

I'm getting considered for A RAISE and PROMOTION right now- and I'm so full of anxiety. I push though it every day. I doubt your anxiety is worse than mine.

 

D-Lish. I'm sorry for your anxiety, but we are not the same people, just because you can do it doesn't mean that every single other person with anxiety can. You are obviously a lot mentally stronger than me to be able to cope with it and hold down a job.

[Els]

Ross, what would you do if the government took you off benefits? Or if their economy plummeted to the point where they could not offer such anymore? Or if you were born in a country where there WERE no benefits?

[Ross MwcFan]

I'd probably get a job, Elswyth.

 

For some reason today, it feels like it probably is for the best for me to get a job, I don't know if it's pressure, feeling like a loser, or just knowing that I don't actually want to carry on living like this, that I don't want to carry on living at home. If I never get a job, if I always carry on living like this, I'm never going to get anywhere in life, I'll never be able to afford a decent enough place of my own and to be able to drive at the same time, I'll never be in a good enough position to date/have relationships, etc. Reality has hit me that the chances are probably low for anyone to get to do a job that they love. So I'm thinking maybe some sort of office work wouldn't be too bad, at least I wouldn't have to be on my feet all day, and if the people there are great, it would make the job a lot more enjoyable. And you know, if I were to get that kind of a job, and stick at it, I could end up getting a better position, and therefore find the work itself more enjoyable. I think it probably would be a good first stepping stone to take in order to get myself the kind of life that I want.

Edited February 17, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Ariadne]

Whats your next concrete step. Is there some one you can call and set you up with this office job you talk of? Take some step that will put things in motion while you have this energy.

 

 

Glad to hear Ross that things got resolved. Cool!

[Ross MwcFan]

I agree thing you wrote for the most part. I hope what you're feeling is somewhat exciting. Hold onto it and try to come back to this sense of purpose as much as possible.

 

Don't feel like a loser though! You were never a loser... just being hard on yourself. This can do attitude makes you a winner!

 

An office job might be boring but at the same time if it let you sit and have a comfortable day it would be beautiful. You're an interesting guy with all your problems so people would see you and feel more comfortable around you if you let them. You'd get to have that second office family if you will. You're older now so just that a lone will make it less likely you get bullied. Not to mention I think you were just unlucky to have it happen the first few times.

 

You're moving ross. You're going somewhere now. Welcome back to a reality I can relate too! Welcome back to the journey of life.

 

Whats your next concrete step. Is there some one you can call and set you up with this office job you talk of? Take some step that will put things in motion while you have this energy. Keep this energy as long as you can!

 

Thanks.

 

I'm not sure what the next concrete step is. I have some qualifications to do with computers, but I did this so long ago, back in 1992, I've probably forgotten a lot of what I learnt, plus computers and software have moved on a lot since then.

 

So, I'm not sure if I could get any type of office/computer work or not. But the good thing is is that there are IT courses at my local college, and you don't need any qualifications to do them.

 

I'm thinking maybe I should just wait until I go to the work activity group thing, and they should be able to help me get into that type of work.

[denise_xo]

I'm thinking maybe I should just wait until I go to the work activity group thing, and they should be able to help me get into that type of work.

 

I really don't think you should wait. If you look at today's Guardian, the picture they're painting of those work activity groups isn't that encouraging. If you can be one step ahead and look into stuff yourself, I think you'll do yourself a big favour.

[Ross MwcFan]

I feel like I've totally lost all confidence in myself now though, because of something really really stupid that I did while driving. It feels like no one else would ever make a mistake like this, and that there is something wrong with me.

[denise_xo]

I feel like I've totally lost all confidence in myself now though, because of something really really stupid that I did while driving. It feels like no one else would ever make a mistake like this, and that there is something wrong with me.

 

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've felt like that lots of times. And once I drove straight over a no parking sign and wrecked my car :o:(